Girlfriends

Women I Love to Love

Today I think I’m going to write about girlfriends.  And I don’t mean the girls you take to the movies, and to dinner, and then try to sneak a kiss with in the park later.  I’m talking about women who are friends. 

I had a few girlfriends growing up.  I would always laugh when a lot of these girls would tell me that they don’t have many, if any at all, girlfriends themselves.  I was always told this was because women are catty and jealous of each other and they always create too much drama.  I would have to agree with this statement a lot of the time.  Males don’t create as much drama.  There are always the exceptions to this, take the guy off in a corner crying because someone didn’t like his new hat.  Yes, those guys are out there too, and no I never had any male friends like that.

But getting back to women, the world wide web has changed a lot of things including how many female friends I now have.  I have quite a few that I’ve never even met in person.  I have met quite a few women through Facebook.  They’re friends and live all over the world.  I have some girlfriends in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, I think one even lives in France somewhere.  I love seeing pictures they post, and making fun comments when they post something.  And for the most part, these women understand that I can be sarcastic and silly and accept me for what I am. 

Some of these women are married, some have kids, some are even married and have kids! *chuckle*  Anyway, the point of all of this is that they are friends.  I didn’t make friends with them because I thought I might get lucky.  I never expect anything from any of them.  We’re just friends.  So why am I writing about this?

Because some guys don’t seem to think this way.  I’ve lost track of how many times I see one of my female friends posting on Facebook that they ARE NOT AVAILABLE AND THEY DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE PHOTOS OF MALE PRIVATE PARTS!  … … … I sit here thinking to myself “What the hell is this?”  Really?  Some idiots are sending photos of their private parts to my friends?  Who the hell does this?  And more importantly, WHY would anyone do this?  Are they thinking that once these women see their equipment they’ll do anything?  What the hell is wrong with the world?

Some don’t get pictures, but instead get messages that say things like “I think you’re my soulmate” or “you’re so beautiful, I need to be with you”.  Some of the men sending these kind of messages are hundreds, even thousands of miles away from the women they’re sending them to!  What do they honestly think they are going to get for a response?  “Oh yeah baby, I love the pictures of your hairy ass, I want to be yours now!”

One friend solved this very nicely.  She took a photo of her husband’s junk and sent that back to the guy.  He was smart enough to leave her alone after that.  I’m not sure how to handle messages from idiots like these guys other than to laugh about it and block them, but women aren’t like that.  They aren’t wired that way usually.  Things like this really upset them and when a friend of mine is upset, I’m upset!  This sucks!

Moving onward, some girlfriends I’ve had have just disappeared.  That’s quite a trick considering they’ve had a large internet presence.  How do you just up and go away?  I love the internet and would really miss it!  I wouldn’t even begin to know how to wean myself off this magical thing!  Without giving away names, I met one girl online and was stupid enough to travel hundreds of miles away to move in with her in Minnesota.  Things didn’t work out and within 6 months I was back in Las Vegas.  She had always been online.  Now I can’t find a trace of her.  Maybe she’s dead?  That wouldn’t surprise me at all.  I haven’t seen her in 10 years and it is entirely possible that she either died, or ended up in prison.  Yup, she wasn’t the smartest person and may be in prison. *chuckle*

Another one became quite a surprise.  The first one, the possible prison woman, I had met and left probably over fifteen years ago so the internet really wasn’t the size it is now.  Facebook wasn’t even around.  I met her through MySpace if you can believe that!  Moving on I had another friend just about two years ago.  She was another author and lived on the other side of the country.  Eventually we began talking over the phone, texting, and emailing each other all the time.  I thought we were pretty tight.  She decided she was going to marry another guy and one day I receive a message saying not to text or email her anymore.  So I stopped.  And then she just dropped off the internet.

Now this wasn’t instantaneous.  She disappeared over the course of months, but she just went bye, bye.  I finally figured out that she’s still around, she didn’t disappear, she changed her name.  At least her last name.  She had written a number of books and they’re gone now, too.  That’s a long story that I won’t go into, but how do you just turn your back on friends? 

A few of you who read this might know who I’m talking about.  If you do, don’t mention her name.  If someone wants to leave my life, they’re more than welcome.  It’s just so surprising to me when I get treated like one of those guys who sends out pictures of his junk.  I don’t do that and never treat my girlfriends with anything but respect.  Getting married shouldn’t mean you can’t have me as a friend anymore, especially if you live hundreds of miles away.

Ok, I’ve ranted long enough for this morning.  Disappear if you want to, I’ll find more friends somewhere.  Until tomorrow…Ta!

Secret relationships

Let's Hide the Truth!

In books secret relationships are exciting and neat!  The princess has to hide her relationship with the local peasant boy because if her father found out about what was going on, he might have the boy executed!  It all sound so wonderful, doesn't it?  So romantic and secretive.

In real life, a lot of guys want to keep a relationship a secret because they want to sleep with as many women as they can at the same time, and also want to try and keep each woman from knowing about all the others.  Or, there are the people who are boss and subordinate who are sleeping together and don't want the coworkers to know about the relationship because then it would be apparent why one of the people is getting special treatment.

I've seen both of these situations.  To me, both are stupid.  When I was younger I tried to warn a few girls who would get involved in a "secret relationship".  I tried telling them that the guy they were seeing was also seeing other girls and didn't really care about them.  I would always get the same response:

"You don't know him like I do."

Ah...actually, I knew these guys better.  I lived in a dormitory and drank with these guys all the time.  I listened to them go on and on about how the girls they were seeing were stupid and naive.  Here's a fantastic story about a couple I met while in the Air Force;  They met, they were attracted to each other, and so they planned to get married.  They had known each other for three months.  I really wish I could remember their names, but I guess the names weren't important enough for me to remember.  Anyway, I was curious and so I asked the guy why he wanted to marry the girl so soon after meeting her.  His response went something like this:

"Dude, look at her, she's gorgeous!  She does my laundry, cleans my dorm room, and I'll get laid whenever I want!  It's win, win!"

What love, huh?  A live in maid who you can have sex with whenever you want!  Who could ask for more?  And so wanting to see if the girl had the same response, I asked her the same thing.  Why did she want to marry this guy after only knowing him for three months?  She said something like this:

"We're really good together.  He knows what I like and I love him."

Wow.  So there you go!  They're good together and she does the laundry.  What a great start to a relationship, right?  Let's move forward three months.

After three months the couple filed for divorce.  They hated each other's guts by then.  What happened?  They were so good together and she did the laundry!  And there was the problem.  He treated her like a live in maid who was supposed to clean everything and provide sex on demand, and she didn't want to do that.  And so being the curious guy I was, I asked them again about their relationship and why they wanted to get a divorce.  Here was the guy's response:

"She's a bitch!  She's lazy and wasn't doing the laundry.  It's her job as a wife!  And she stopped having sex!  Every night I wanted to have sex she always had a headache!  What a waste of time!"

And of course I wanted to hear her side of things.  Would she admit to being a bitch and not doing the laundry?  Would she tell me why she refused to have sex on demand?  Her response went something like this:

"He won't talk to me anymore.  We never do anything together and he just wants sex and to treat me like some kind of maid.  I've tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want anything to do with me.  He was such a waste of time."

So he stopped talking to her.  I wonder if he had talked to her in the first place.  So obviously in my mind the relationship was based on the guy being physically attracted to the girl and wanting sex on demand.  That's not really a reason to get married, is it?  But people are stupid!  They lied about the relationship to themselves.  I think the girl just wanted to get married and had fantasies about what her new husband would be like, and in reality he just expected her to do the laundry and lift her skirt.

Now not all guys are like this.  There are a lot of really good fellas out there, so think every guy you meet is some kind of idiot.  I'll admit that quite a few of them are, but there really are some good ones around. For all the women out there who read this, talk to a guy before you marry him.  Get to know him before you sleep with him.  Don't just figure that since you're attracted to him and he seemed nice that a marriage will work out.  Think about why there is so much divorce in America.

On the other hand, there are also some really sleazy women out there.  Some of them sleep with managers in the work place and then get special treatment.  Don't think people don't notice this, because they do.  The "couple" always think they're keeping the relationship a secret, but people always know.  I saw one girl sleep with a manager and get pregnant.  She went home and told her boyfriend who had a vasectomy that she had visited a "sperm bank" on one of her days off and that's how she got pregnant.  I guess her "boyfriend" believed that.  Or maybe he just didn't care.  Trust me when I tell you sperm banks don't just let you make a withdrawal in one day.  That's not how things work.

Ok, time to end this little rant.  This was good practice for November when I'll be trying to write 50,000 words in my blog for NANOWRIMO in November.