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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

News Bashing

I haven't written a blog in a while, and decided I wanted to rip into the nightly news.  No, I don't mean anything topical, or any recent news like "Las Vegas among Lowest in the U.S. in credit scores" which is an actual news story here this week.  I mean I think I'm going to rip into news programs.

Now I do have some friends on facebook who work in news rooms.  This is sarcasm people.  Don't be sending me messages bitching that newscasters are people, too!  They aren't!  No one is actually "people!" and if you aren't ready to laugh at what I'm writing, give up right here.

Here's a nice news crew.  I won't say what channel they're...oh shit, it's right there in the picture, isn't it?  Oh well.  These guys are local Las Vegas News.  And here are a few questions for them.  (And this is without even commenting about the guitar guy with his foot on the desk!)  News anchors read from a teleprompter, don't they?  Then why are there papers on the desk?  Are we taking some notes?  Is there more info there?  And what's with the laptops?  Are we looking things up as we report the story?  You need the facts before you report it, journalism 101!  This just boggles me.  

Here's Walter Cronkite at his news desk.  He needed notes.  Back when he did the news, they barely had lights in the studio, let alone a teleprompter.  And he really had to think about what he was reading.  I'm sure every now and then someone would slip a story onto the desk like "Terrorist monkeys attempted a take over of the San Diego Zoo today."  Would he have read that?  Or would Walter have skipped over it?  I'd like to think he would have read the story, and with a straight face.  But as you can see, no laptop.  Of course they weren't invented back then, but still...  Let's go back to the Vegas news crew again:

Ok, forgetting the papers and laptops, both anchors are very...nicely...dressed.  Ok, what's with the flexing black guy?  Actually, I believe this is the morning news crew.  I like to watch them.  I think that coffee cup is SITTING ON SOME OF LISA'S NOTES!  (Lisa would be the nice lady anchor on the right.  You know, the shocked one looking at the flexing black guy?)  How did her notes get all the way over there, anyway?  What is with all the paperwork, people?  Is this a news show, or a government office?  Well, at least they're dressed nicely.  Hopefully the station won't hire some kid eventually who just wears a t-shirt and some ripped jeans to do the news.

Speaking of clothes, here's a nice web news program.  I have absolutely no idea what the news was, though.  Once the one lady took off her pants, I didn't hear a word they were saying.  AND THIS ISN'T EVEN THE ACTUAL NAKED NEWS SHOW!  So no, they don't take off everything.  They take off enough, though.  They have to worry what to wear to work that can be taken off easily.  Wow.  I think the one lady says something about terrorist monkeys at the zoo, or something.  I dunno.  Wow.  Ok, enough about the news, I'm going to surf the web and find the real "Naked news."  I probably won't need the sound, though.