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Thursday, July 31, 2014

Time to give Madison Sevier a Vegas Adventure!

Interview with Author Madison Sevier

Now to have a bit of fun I’ve decided to not only interview Madison, but to also Answer my own questions and reply to anything she says in her answers.  And here we go!

Hi Madison and welcome to your Vegas Adventure interview!  Firstly, I’d like to thank you for agreeing to do this, I really appreciate your time.  And secondly, relax and enjoy yourself with these questions.  Have a good time!  And let’s begin!

How did you get started in writing?  And have you taken any college courses or classes to help you with your craft? 

 Thanks so much, Robert.
I began writing when I was around eight years old. I'd been reading (sneaking my aunt's books) V.C. Andrews and Stephen King since first grade. I'd also "worked" with my aunt at our local library. So, when my grandfather found out about my love for books, he gave me a powder-blue typewriter for Christmas—Right then, I knew I'd write books someday.
As for courses or classes, no. Not yet. I've been fairly busy homeschooling my daughter and once you add in all of my other "duties" plus writing and everything that goes along with it, that doesn't leave much time for anything else. However, I do plan on it.

I’ve been writing since I was a kid.  My favorite class in high school was Creative Writing.  There is so much of my older writing that just disappeared and that’s kind of sad.  I think that’s because I started writing stories and things back when there were typewriters.  If you wanted to keep something you needed to keep a hard copy of it and I was never really organized enough to keep track of a bunch of papers.  It’s so much easier now in the digital age to just save writing as a file.  Other than high school I’ve never taken any writing classes either.  I’ve been encouraged to do that, but I’m one of those egotistical people who thinks he doesn’t need writing classes.  *chuckle*

Can you write without coffee?  What would you write if I kept you away from coffee for a week?  How about if I told you no coffee before you’ve written 10,000 words?  (*chuckle*  Yes, I have a mean streak sometimes.)

No way. I'd end up writing a horror book or a murder. No, you wouldn't be the victim **wink, wink** Oh, if I had to work for my coffee, I'd write 10,000 words in no time. :)

I personally don’t drink coffee.  I’ve never liked it.  I’ll be happy to make coffee for you if you’re pushy, but all kinds of things will make it into the coffee filter.  *snicker*  Yes, I love to make coffee, I’m just not much for drinking it. 

I really enjoyed your story Banged in the Bayou and you’ve told me that you’re doing more work on that.  I read a comment on Facebook saying “You'll be happy to know that Rosie is on the road again.   Searching...  Can't wait to see what she finds next”  So will we maybe be seeing more Monster Sex stories with Rosie Peaks?

Thank you so much! Yes, Rosie will be appearing again. Honestly, Banged In The Bayou began as a joke between another great friend and myself. Never in a million years did I think anyone would actually like the story. I have grown to love Rosie's character and she may appear shallow on the outside  (I wrote her that way), but she will show more of her personality and strengths in her next story. There are so many monsters in the world and she's been trying to find one that satisfies her like Nessiana did.

One of my books started out with a bit of joking around.  I came up with the idea for Terminating Vegas while working a security dispatch position with a good friend of mine.  It started out with that good ol’ question, “So, what would you do if you won the lottery?”  *chuckle*

Bad reviews always bother authors, me included.  But would bad reviews matter to you at all if you were selling a couple of thousand kindle copies a month?

Honestly, yes that would still bother me. However, I wouldn't let it stop me from writing. I know that not everyone will love what I write and some people will hate it. That's okay. We all have different tastes. As long as the reviews aren't cruel (I had one once), I'm fine with constructive criticism.

My book Frigate November has 35 reviews on right now.  Most of them I don’t bother to read.  I get a lot of people complaining that the book isn’t “realistic”.  It wasn’t written to be realistic, it was written to be entertaining.  The book still sells more copies each month than all my other books put together.  Obviously not enough copies to pay my rent, but still it puts a few dollars in my pocket.  I recently edited and rewrote quite a bit of the story.  The rewrite added around 100 pages to the paperback version.  *chuckle*  It remains to be seen if changing a few things will help with the sales and reviews.  If the reviews change, I probably still won’t read them.

 Let’s say you just made ten thousand dollars in book royalties this month.  Not including bills (we all have to pay those), what would you go out and spend the money on just for fun? 
Oh, I wish. LOL! Let's see. I'd definitely head down to the Smokies with my family. There's something magical there that I can never put into words. So, I'd spend a good chunk of it for that trip. Maybe I'd stay for a month. Maybe use the money for a down payment on a house there. I'm not big on blowing money, so I'd put it to good use.
I know...booooring :)

Women always seem to be like that, thinking about a new house or a trip somewhere.  I think ten thousand dollars would pay for a nice trip to Orlando, Florida for me.  I’ve also promised a friend that if one of my books ever took off and made me major bucks I would treat her to a trip to Walt Disney World in Florida.  So that’s where the first bit of my huge royalty check would go.  *chuckle*  The rest would probably be spent on video games, computer stuff, and maybe a nicer car.

Let’s move on from Monster Sex and talk about your book Wicked By NatureI haven’t read this one, but it seems you have a flair for the supernatural.  Is this your preferred genre, or do you ever expand your writing to other things such as comedy, straight romance, historical, or things like that?

I definitely have a love of the supernatural/paranormal. I combined it with my love of RomCom and a bit of the erotic to get Wicked By Nature where it is today. (Currently being re-edited and re-covered) and will be available for purchase again by October—I hope.

I'd say my favorite genre would be RomCom. I tend to put real-life, comical things into my stories. I like snark and wit in my romance, so I try to bring those to my characters. Luckily, they cooperate. I also love cozy mysteries and I have one saved in my files (that I'm supposed to finish). I've never written historical or western, but up until a short while ago, I'd never written monsterotica either. So, who knows. Maybe someday.

I think most of my books have comedic parts in them.  All except for Kiss the Darkness.  Not too much humor in that story.  Lots of emotion there, though.

 Most writers have things they’ve written long ago that they never share.  My secret thing is an old Western story.  It was written on a typewriter back in the mid 80’s.  Do you have any hidden writing that you’ll probably never let anyone see? 

Honestly, no. But that's very cool and I think you should publish it!
I've thought about it. But I worry that if I wrote something secret, it would one day find it's way into the world. So, I keep those secret things to myself.

My western won’t see the light of day.  At least I won’t be the person showing it to anyone.  On the frightening side, a girl I knew back in my military days still has a copy and has told me she rereads it every so often!  GAH!

I did a “Bob’s Books” episode for your book Banged in the Bayou and you really enjoyed it!  So how shy are you?  If I could ever arrange it (I’m learning more every day!) would you ever consider a live video interview?

 Yes, you did and I truly did enjoy it. Thank you again!
I'm fairly shy at first. I'm okay behind the computer, but in real life, I'm very quiet until I get to know you. Just like RAGT14 this year. I didn't know many people, but once I warmed up, I was talking to the point that I lost my voice. LOL
I'd definitely be open to a live video interview. Just let me know :)

I’ve asked another author or two, but they always waffle out somehow.  They’re either using a pen name and don’t want to reveal their real face, or they aren’t sure how it would work, they’re busy, or some other excuse.  Two authors I did actually get on video were Missy Martine and Mary Quast.  I had met them at a Reader/Writer event hosted by author Lori Foster.  I asked if they would mind talking a bit about their books while I filmed them and I could then post the video on YouTube.  Both were happy for the promotion and let me take video of them.  Mary’s video has had 138 views so far and Missy’s video currently has 56 views.  This is from three years ago and I’m sure video interviews would be much more popular now.  The world has become so much more digital now.  I’ll definitely get with you about trying a video interview!

Have you ever held a book signing for one of your books?  You know, one of those things where you sit at a table and no one looks at your books.  But the bitch at the next table has everyone over there all looking at her stupid books about some summer/fall romance crap that’s just a bunch of stupid fluff!  Your book is so much better but none of the air heads in the room seem to care!  All they want is to look at the bitch’s book!  Why won’t they come over here!  If they would just read my stuff, I know they would like it!  I hate sitting here all by myself!  It’s so damned hot in here! 

 I actually had a signing at RAGT14. I was completely surprised and shocked because no one had told me it I would be doing it. It was quite embarrassing, but I did my best. I honestly wasn't upset by how many people were visiting other authors. I knew who they were all mostly there to see and not many people had ever heard of me. However, I won't lie. I did sit there smiling while dreaming I'd be one of those lucky authors someday. But no one would have ever guessed the many other things that were going through my mind that day.

 Uh…sorry, I got a bit carried away there.  *chuckle*  That hasn’t ever happened to me.  Has it happened to you?

We all get carried away sometimes :)

Yes, that actually was my attempt at humor.  In a way it stems from a bit of truth.  Three years ago when I went to the Lori Foster event I met quite a few other authors and it was nice…I guess.  I did make a few friends there.  And I always get asked each year if I’m going back to the next Lori Foster event.  Sadly I have to say no.  To me it was just 300 babbling women in one room all trying to talk about their books at the same time. 

 What is the longest thing you’ve written so far?  My longest would be a novel called Frigate November.  Originally it was around 120,000 words long.  I recently edited it and rewrote a few parts and now it’s 124,392 words.  So have you considered writing something that long?

Wicked By Nature was around 70,000 and with edits/revisions, it should be longer. I've often considered writing much longer stories. Up until a few weeks ago, I felt boxed in with deadlines and such, so my writing went into a tailspin. Now, I have ideas running rampant and driving me insane. Hopefully, I'll get my cozy mystery finished soon and then, I'll have a longer story to tell.

Authors always laugh and joke about putting people they don’t like in their books and then killing them off.  Have you ever based any characters in your writing on anyone you know, good or bad?  You don’t have to name any names. 

 Would someone as sweet and innocent as lil ol' me do that? 
Remember that phrase "Two can keep a secret"?
Of course I have. One particular I killed a few times—just to be sure.
It's excellent and cheap therapy. Wouldn't you agree?

Thank you so much for having me over, Robert! This has been so much fun. Hopefully, you'll stop by my place soon and I can ask you the tough questions.

I can be honest in saying I’ve never done that.  You won’t make it into one of my books as a character unless I like you at least a little bit.  I killed off a couple people in my book Las Vegas Investigator and I’m sure people will try and guess who those characters represent, but in reality they were just characters not based on anyone. 

Well thank you again Madison for participating in one of my screwball interviews!  It was a pleasure having you and hopefully we actually can hook up for a video interview soon.  (I do have a few evil plans for this.  *chuckle*)

Friday, July 25, 2014

YouTube and You

YouTube and You

Have you ever thought about a career in film making?  I think most people have.  It would be so great to work at the dream factory called Hollywood, wouldn't it?  Well with today's technology you don't have to move to Hollywood to make it big in film making.  Or should I say video making?  But really what's the difference between a video and a film?  The length, maybe?  Let's forget the semantics and jump right into YouTube!

I have my own YouTube channel.  I can upload just about anything I want onto it and people all over the world can watch the videos I put up.  There are restrictions and you can't just post anything.  It is possible to get banned and have your channel removed.  My friend Chinstrap has had his channel removed.  You can't be a bad boy (or girl) and be putting up copyrighted stuff such as videos using copyrighted music!  Don't be posting a video of yourself dancing to Lady Gaga's latest hit and expect the video to stay up.  You don't own the music so you can't use it!  What a lot of people may not realize though, is that YouTube has a huge selection of music that you can download and use in your videos for free!  Just do a bit of research!  And don't post really offensive things.  The world doesn't need to see people getting their heads chopped off in an execution, or women being roasted over an open flame.  You may want to see that stuff, but it's offensive and will get you banned.  Don't post stuff like that.

Now the big question is how do you get people to watch your videos?  Uploading them to YouTube just isn't enough to get views.  Once you have an established channel you might be able to just upload stuff and people will watch it, but that takes time and effort.  So what kind of videos will people watch?  Who the hell knows?  For instance I uploaded this video and it has 7 views.  So only 7 people watched it.

Is it a bad video?  Hell no, I think it's pretty good!  But apparently no one was interested in my reading a bit from one of my own books.  What is interesting then?  How about chicken?  Is chicken interesting?  Take a look at this video:

As of right now while I'm typing this blog the video has 705 views.  People want to know how I cook chicken in a microwave.  *chuckle*  So should I make cooking videos?  I don't want to do that mostly because I can't really cook that well.  That's why I cook chicken in a microwave!  But it comes out well and so I thought I would share that secret with people.  

How about video games?  They're pretty popular right now.  There are some guys who play video games and do commentary while they play.  The videos are called "Let's plays", or "Walkthrus".  Some of these commentators have millions of subscribers.  Yes, I said millions.  Take the guy named Theradbrad for example, he has over three million subscribers.  Here is one of his videos:

Brad is so popular that I guess once in a while a smart game developer will send him their game and allow him to play it and put up a video before the game is even released.  I say they're smart because having him play your game will get the game a lot of buzz and promotion.  Brad is good at what he does and believe me, what he does is not easy!  I've tried it a few times and haven't had the same level of success.  But then I don't stick with it.  One way to find success on YouTube is to keep a steady stream of videos uploading.  So to compare, here's a video I made of the same game.  My video only has 6 views.  But then I don't keep adding videos and finish the game.  

Believe it or not, there is more to this than just pointing a camera at your tv and recording the game.  You need specific equipment to record game footage.  I think I paid around $200 for the small thing I have.  It connects the game to my laptop computer and I can record the game footage with commentary if I want and then save it as a digital file.  Now these game walkthrus might not be easy to get views on, but sports games are a bit easier.  They take a LOT of editing, though!  Football is fun, but you need to cut out all the stuff in between the plays in order to make the video short enough.  Long videos are really nice, but they take forever to upload!  Shorter is better.  So here's me editing some football:

I really was going to keep up with this series, but my Playstation 3 died after a couple of videos and I wasn't able to make any more for a while.  Months and months had passed before I was able to make video game videos again and when I finally could, I had lost the saves I needed.  That sucked.  But this thing has 75 views right now!  So people love to watch football and see how you play!  I know I like watching it!

So let's get back to making videos.  What does it take to get a YouTube video channel?  Just sign up.  That's about it.  It's all part of Google.  Now YouTube can be more than just something to show videos to the world.  There's so much to it.  I don't even know half of what you can do with this stuff!  There are people who make "daily vlogs".  I follow two of these people.  One is in Orlando, Florida and is called TheTimTracker and the other one I follow is in England and is called WanderingDaz.  These husband and wife teams do videos every day about what they're doing, what's going on in their lives, or just whatever they're thinking about.  They upload videos every day!  I honestly think they're fun to watch.  For a while they barely had any views, but eventually after they had stuck with it, people found their channels.  And now they get more and more subscribers.  That's a lot of work to upload a video every day!  I love and respect what those people do!  

So even if you don't want to make videos yourself, check out YouTube.  It's a fun thing.  You can find anything at all you want.  There are literally videos on just about anything you want to search for!  Such as this:

This video is insanely funny!  Learning about a habanero pepper the hard way is always fun!  You can search how to build a computer, or how to change out a sink!  How to train your dog, or funny golf videos.  You can type in the name of any video game at all and find things!  YouTube is fun!  So help support a YouTuber today.  You don't need to give them any money or anything like that, just watch videos and then leave a comment, or click the thumbs up icon to leave a "like".  

Monday, July 21, 2014

Stupid and Selfish

The World of the Dumb
I live in America, home to some pretty stupid and selfish people.  Have you ever just looked around you and wondered how some people can be as dumb or selfish as they are?  We’ve made natural selection pretty much irrelevant for the human race now.  The weak and stupid people don’t die out, some of them go on to be pretty successful!  But the stupid and selfish people aren't just Americans.  Let’s take a look at the wonderful world of the dumb:

We start in Toronto, Canada.  Welcome to the Great White North!  Some people speak French here and Toronto will obviously vote for just about anyone for mayor.  How about a crack head?  Sure, why not?  Meet Toronto mayor Rob Ford.  Rob likes to get drunk and smoke crack.  Here’s a fun little news story about Rob:

Toronto mayor: ‘Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine’

Canadian politics and politicians tend to get little attention in the United States. That changed dramatically in November when Toronto mayor Rob Ford admitted he had smoked crack cocaine. Allegations of the mayor’s drug use came up after a video surfaced showing Ford smoking crack. Ford denied the video existed until police said they had obtained a copy in the course of a drug investigation against a friend of Ford’s.

“Yes, I have smoke crack cocaine, “ Ford told reporters Nov. 5, “There have been times when I’ve been in a drunken stupor. That’s why I want to see the tape.”

So Rob admits he smoked crack cocaine.  How nice!  He’s also a known drunkard and seems to be hated, reviled, and embarrasses people in Toronto.  So how did he even get elected as mayor?  Rob says he wants to see “the tape”?  Well then, let’s look at some video.  I especially love the shirtless man standing behind him who is continuously yelling “Resign, resign!”  

Well there you go.  You silly Canadians elected a drunken crack head to the post of mayor!  What could be dumber than that?  Maybe electing a crack head mayor TWICE?  Here in American in the quaint little place we call the District of Columbia (That’s where Washington DC is!) back in 1979 they elected a guy named Marion Barry Jr. mayor.  In 1990 Marion was videotaped smoking crack cocaine and arrested on drug charges by the FBI.  Not the police, the Federal Bureau of Investigation arrested him!  And then after his arrest Marion went to a federal prison for six months.  That meant that Marion couldn’t run for reelection.  Was that the last of Marion?  Hell no!  He ran for mayor again in 1995 after getting out of prison and was again voted in as mayor!  He cleaned himself up though, right?  WRONG!

On October 28, 2005, Barry pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charges stemming from an IRS investigation. The mandatory drug testing for the hearing showed Barry as being positive for cocaine and marijuana. On March 9, 2006, he was sentenced to three years of probation for misdemeanor charges of failing to pay federal and local taxes, and underwent drug counseling.

So here in America we voted in a crack cocaine and pot smoking tax evader as mayor of the nation’s capital city.  Lovely.  Well at least things couldn’t get worse for Marion, right?  RIGHT?

On July 4, 2009, Barry was taken into custody by the Park Police after political consultant Donna Watts-Brighthaupt, his ex-girlfriend, claimed he was stalking her.  Barry was arrested and charged with "misdemeanor stalking". Following an interview with authorities, he was released on citation and told he must appear before the Superior Court of the District of Columbia on July 9. However, all charges were dropped on July 8.

Oh geez.  Ok, let’s move on from Marion.  The more you look at him, the worse things get. 

So how about me?  Here I am going on and on about stupid people voting crack heads into political office.  Have I ever voted for a crack head myself?  No!  Actually, Hell No!  I wouldn’t waste my vote on someone like that!  I will however vote for someone crazy.  Sadly, the one crazy person I can remember voting for died.  She was a judge and her name was Elizabeth Halverson.  Ok, that was her “married” name.  She was only a judge for less than five months after getting elected and then she was suspended.  That just meant she had to stay home and watch Captain Kangaroo instead of going to the courthouse and being a judge.  She still received her $130,000 a year pay during her suspention.  I'm all for that, crazy people have bills too.  Did I know she was crazy before I voted for her?  Oh yes.  I definitely knew.  I had heard things.  I had no idea HOW crazy she really was, but I knew she was nuts.  Not only was she crazy, she was huge.  By huge, I mean she was HUGE!

Take a look at that huge bundle of love!  She couldn’t really walk well and so she rode around on one of those scooter things.  A Rascal, or whatever it’s called.  I helped elect her with my vote and then the madness started.  She was always in the news and always for something that I thought was hilarious!  She used to sleep through court proceedings.  She was accused of “tainting” juries and two cases ended up as mistrials.  She was accused of making her court bailiff give her massages, bring her blankets when she wanted to nap, and put her shoes on her feet.  She supposedly harassed everyone around her.

Her bailiff eventually testified against her in court about how he was “abused”.  He sits there on the stand screaming about “America”.  If he was so abused, why didn’t he find another job?  We can quit in America.  *chuckle*  Let’s go to the video tape!

And just when you think someone can’t get any crazier, they do.  After being removed from the bench Judge Halverson had a bit of a problem with her husband at home.  Ok, it was more than a bit of a problem.  He slammed her in the head with a frying pan.  She may have been crazy, but you can’t hit people with frying pans!  Not even if they’re crazy and annoy you!  Her husband was quickly arrested and ended up doing a few years in prison.  And then she finally died.  Would I vote for her again if she hadn’t died?  You can damned well bet I would!  A lot of crazy things go on in Las Vegas, why shouldn’t we have a crazy judge?  So our last video will be a short one about my favorite judge. 

 And just in case you’d like to read a bit more, here’s a link to a news story about judge Halverson’s death…and life! 

So what’s the point of this blog?  I don’t know.  I guess I just found some of the politicians funny and wanted to write about them.  Go out and vote for who you want and I’ll vote for who I want.  

Monday, July 14, 2014

Monster Sex

This blog is going to be “R” rated so if you aren’t old enough to talk about sex, you’d better stop reading now.  This blog should only be read by adults.

Ok, hopefully all my three year old readers are now gone.  Let’s talk about sex.  Specifically Monster sex.  Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself “What the hell is he talking about?  What is Monster sex?” If you are asking yourself that, hopefully you’re doing it quietly so people don’t stare.

Monster sex is sex between monsters.  Or sex WITH monsters.  Now when you mention monsters to me I usually think about the king of monsters, Godzilla.

Godzilla having sex would probably destroy a few buildings, but then he does that anyway, doesn't he?  Actually, today I'm going to talk about sex with a monster a little bit smaller.  To tell you the truth I had never really thought about Monster sex myself until recently.  A friend mentioned it and I had thought she was just being silly.  She wasn't.  She was talking about a book.

Actually it's more of a short story than a book as it's only around 3,000 words long.  It's about Monster sex.  That nice lady on the cover is named Rosie Peaks.  And Rosie and her peaks ends up with her car broke down in a swamp.  She gets out and begins to wander around after taking off her expensive shoes and ends up being found by a Swamp Monster.  Once he finds her, cue the cheap 70's porn music!  They end up going at it!  Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!  

This small bit of imagination gave me quite a few smiles!  I've read and reviewed a number of erotic stories before, but nothing like this one.  This one  This one was REALLY different!  *chuckle*  This story has phrases like these:

"It came toward me, arms...vines outstretched..."

"There must be laws against this sort of thing."

"A seaweed coated appendage reached up and stroked my cheek..."

I love those lines!  And the rest of the story is just as entertaining!  This was something new and fun for me!  Every so often I make a video called "Bob's Books" and talk about a book I like.  I absolutely HAD to make a video for this story!  It cried out for a video!  And of course, I had to make the video while wearing a hockey mask.  *chuckle*

Now if I were still young enough to play with dolls, I’m sure this would have inspired me to find a Swamp Thing action figure.  Can you imagine this coming over to Barbie’s Dream House for a tea party?

"Baaaaaaarrrrrbieee!, Daddy's home!"  Time to test out that new Barbie bed!  After a round or two on some of Barbie's lawn furniture before also trying out the bed, everyone is happy.  *chuckle*  And then nine months later Barbie has a son who grows up to look like this:

Anyway, back to the story Banged In The Bayou.  As you can see it got my imagination racing.  *chuckle*  It was a fun story and at the end Barbie...oops, I mean Rosie Peaks lives happily ever after.  It's only 99 cents on the Kindle, or Nook, or where ever you want to read it and well worth that small amount.  But you'd better hurry if you want to take a look though, I've been told by the author that she's going to rewrite everything and make the story longer now!  You'd better pick it up while you still can!  

So click on any of the links I'll put down below and you can find this fantastic story!  Meanwhile, I'll see if I can get the author to maybe do an interview with me.  I'd love to ask a few Monster Sex questions!  *chuckle*  And we can maybe even convince her to talk about other books she's written.  You know how hard it is to get an author to talk about their books.  *chuckle*  Anyway, visit the links and have some fun!