Let's Hide the Truth!
In books secret relationships are exciting and neat! The princess has to hide her relationship with the local peasant boy because if her father found out about what was going on, he might have the boy executed! It all sound so wonderful, doesn't it? So romantic and secretive.
In real life, a lot of guys want to keep a relationship a secret because they want to sleep with as many women as they can at the same time, and also want to try and keep each woman from knowing about all the others. Or, there are the people who are boss and subordinate who are sleeping together and don't want the coworkers to know about the relationship because then it would be apparent why one of the people is getting special treatment.
I've seen both of these situations. To me, both are stupid. When I was younger I tried to warn a few girls who would get involved in a "secret relationship". I tried telling them that the guy they were seeing was also seeing other girls and didn't really care about them. I would always get the same response:
"You don't know him like I do."
Ah...actually, I knew these guys better. I lived in a dormitory and drank with these guys all the time. I listened to them go on and on about how the girls they were seeing were stupid and naive. Here's a fantastic story about a couple I met while in the Air Force; They met, they were attracted to each other, and so they planned to get married. They had known each other for three months. I really wish I could remember their names, but I guess the names weren't important enough for me to remember. Anyway, I was curious and so I asked the guy why he wanted to marry the girl so soon after meeting her. His response went something like this:
"Dude, look at her, she's gorgeous! She does my laundry, cleans my dorm room, and I'll get laid whenever I want! It's win, win!"
What love, huh? A live in maid who you can have sex with whenever you want! Who could ask for more? And so wanting to see if the girl had the same response, I asked her the same thing. Why did she want to marry this guy after only knowing him for three months? She said something like this:
"We're really good together. He knows what I like and I love him."
Wow. So there you go! They're good together and she does the laundry. What a great start to a relationship, right? Let's move forward three months.
After three months the couple filed for divorce. They hated each other's guts by then. What happened? They were so good together and she did the laundry! And there was the problem. He treated her like a live in maid who was supposed to clean everything and provide sex on demand, and she didn't want to do that. And so being the curious guy I was, I asked them again about their relationship and why they wanted to get a divorce. Here was the guy's response:
"She's a bitch! She's lazy and wasn't doing the laundry. It's her job as a wife! And she stopped having sex! Every night I wanted to have sex she always had a headache! What a waste of time!"
And of course I wanted to hear her side of things. Would she admit to being a bitch and not doing the laundry? Would she tell me why she refused to have sex on demand? Her response went something like this:
"He won't talk to me anymore. We never do anything together and he just wants sex and to treat me like some kind of maid. I've tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want anything to do with me. He was such a waste of time."
So he stopped talking to her. I wonder if he had talked to her in the first place. So obviously in my mind the relationship was based on the guy being physically attracted to the girl and wanting sex on demand. That's not really a reason to get married, is it? But people are stupid! They lied about the relationship to themselves. I think the girl just wanted to get married and had fantasies about what her new husband would be like, and in reality he just expected her to do the laundry and lift her skirt.
Now not all guys are like this. There are a lot of really good fellas out there, so think every guy you meet is some kind of idiot. I'll admit that quite a few of them are, but there really are some good ones around. For all the women out there who read this, talk to a guy before you marry him. Get to know him before you sleep with him. Don't just figure that since you're attracted to him and he seemed nice that a marriage will work out. Think about why there is so much divorce in America.
On the other hand, there are also some really sleazy women out there. Some of them sleep with managers in the work place and then get special treatment. Don't think people don't notice this, because they do. The "couple" always think they're keeping the relationship a secret, but people always know. I saw one girl sleep with a manager and get pregnant. She went home and told her boyfriend who had a vasectomy that she had visited a "sperm bank" on one of her days off and that's how she got pregnant. I guess her "boyfriend" believed that. Or maybe he just didn't care. Trust me when I tell you sperm banks don't just let you make a withdrawal in one day. That's not how things work.
Ok, time to end this little rant. This was good practice for November when I'll be trying to write 50,000 words in my blog for NANOWRIMO in November.