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Saturday, May 21, 2011

The End...or not?

     Ok, it's May 21, 2011 and I'm sick.  I'm so sick, I called in sick to work.  I haven't done that in years.  I never call off!  My head is so congested that I can barely breathe!  But that's not the point of this blog.  The point is that some crack pot named Harold Camping decided that the "rapture" was coming today.  He said on May 21, 2011 there would be a huge earthquake and millions of people would die, and millions of people would be taken up to heaven.  It's the second coming, and he scheduled it!  So where is it?  I feel like shit, so if the world is going to end, it needs to end so I don't have to be congested anymore!

     Coincidentally, Harold said the rapture would come back in 1994, too.  It apparently didn't come back then, so he rescheduled it for today.  I wonder what date he'll schedule next?  Harold also runs a "church." Well, if you consider some idiot hosting a website and collecting money for the end of the world a church.  Yes, he's collecting money.  He's been collecting money right up to, and past May 21!  I'm told a few million dollars was spent to put up billboards all over Los Angeles to warn people that the end would start today.  That's much better than using the money to help people, right?

     So here I sit, miserable and congested hoping that Harold is having a really shitty day, too.  I'm sure he'll be wanting more money for the next rapture date he schedules.  How many times do you have to schedule a rapture before people actually stop following your "church" and realize you're full of shit?  I guess some people never learn, do they?  One guy on youtube was talking to one of Harold's "sheep" in a subway and complaining to her that his birthday is May 24and it wasn't fair to have the rapture before his birthday!

     Well, I'm going to go and lay down and try to feel better.  If the rapture starts to actually happen, someone come and wake me up.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Winning no matter what

     Way back in the 80's some idiot executive came up with the idea that if he surrounded himself with the dumbest people he could find, he would look smart.  I even saw this theory in practice while I was in the military.  What really happened is that they looked like they had surrounded themselves with really stupid people.  Somehow, these people figured this would help them get ahead.

"My staff can't get along without me."

     I guess that's an acceptable substitute for hard work in our society.  Then, they decided that the next best thing was to finger point.  That seems to still be going on now.  If you screw up, you just blame someone else for something else.  Point at them and accuse them and push the blame away from yourself.

"Were you the one who caused the fire back in the break room?"

"Maybe, but you need to take a look at Melvin, he's not putting the recyclables in the right can!  How about that?"

     And things seem to be getting worse.  People will do anything now to get money, or to get ahead.  I'm seeing things in the news about people claiming their spouse, or kids have some kind of incurable disease and then take donations.  Then it turns out the spouse, or kids were fine, and were never sick in the first place.  Why the hell would you do this?  Are these people really that desperate for money?

"Larry and Melissa Beach reportedly scammed their way into a new home on ABC's Extreme Home Makeover. They said their house was flooded during Hurricane Ike, but according to records, no house in their subdivision was flooded and their elevation certificate shows that their elevation was too high to be flooded."

     Hooray for Larry and Melissa!  They got a free house by lying!  I'll bet Melissa cried, and sobbed in front of the producers.  And how about the producer who didn't bother to look into anything.  He just met with Larry and Melissa and decided they needed a new house.  Did he know it was a scam and is now going to point a finger?

"What, it was a scam?  Those horrible people, they scammed me!  It's not my fault I didn't check into things, it's their fault for lying!"

     There is a logic puzzle game called Sudoku.  I never much liked logic puzzles like those, but they're a good time killer I guess, and keep your mind strong.  But now, you don't even have to do the puzzle yourself!  There are applications for cell phones that allow you to take a picture of the puzzle, and it will then show you the answers!  What the hell?  Why would you even need this?  To check your answers?  Or is that an excuse?

     I think I'm just getting tired of how corrupt the society I live in has become.  You just don't find any morals anywhere anymore, it seems.

     Oh, and by the way, Arnold Schwartzenegger just announced he has an illegitimate kid with some of his governor staff.


Thursday, May 5, 2011

Mother's Day Frustrations

     I have a mom that I love dearly.  She's always been there for me when I needed her, and had a fit when I joined the U.S. Air Force.  She kept screaming that they were "stealing her baby."  Oy.  But insane times with mom aside, Mother's Day is coming up this Sunday right after the Kentucky Derby on Saturday.  What a weekend, wahoo!  (I actually hate horse racing.)

     Yes, this is my pirate mom.  She's probably less like a real pirate than anyone else I've ever met my entire life!  *chuckle*  And she'll probably hate this picture, but there it is anyway.  And yes, she sometimes reads my blog.

     Anyway, since I'm actually aware of when Mother's Day is this year, I was thinking of getting mom her own personal Ipod touch.  She's not a techie, and so it'll probably frustrate her, but I still think it would be a nice present.  She has a granddaughter who lives far away, and the granddaughter has a brand new Ipod touch, so if I buy mom one, they can maybe use the facetime application and chat face to face!  Very nice idea!  But here's the problem:  When it comes to tech, this is usually the conversation I end up having with my mom:

Me:  Mom, I just bought you this Ipod touch for Mother's Day!  Let me show you how to get things started with it.

Mom:  Oh honey, THANK YOU!  Let me try and figure it out myself.  It isn't working, I think it's broken.

Me:  No mom, you have to set it up with your computer.  Let me hook it to your laptop and get you started.  If you'll just...

Mom:  Let me figure it out!  It's not doing anything!  Maybe you got me a bad one?  Why isn't mine big like yours is?

Me:  Mom...mine's an IPAD, not an Ipod.  

Mom:  What's the difference?

     Things go on from there.  Eventually I'll get her going on it, but it's frustrating.  Why don't I get her an Ipad?  She'll struggle enough with the Ipod.  She'll get used to it, but it might be a few years.  I'm sure I'll be getting calls on my cell phone after I get it for her, too.

Mom:  Bobby, are you there?

Me:  Yes mom, I'm here.  What do you need?

Mom:  Are you there?  I can't hear very well on this thing!  And it doesn't always ring.

Me:  Mom, it rings fine.  When you bury your cell phone in your purse and put your purse upstairs, obviously you won't be able to hear it ring.  Did you need something?

Mom:  The Ipod stopped working, I think it's broken.

Me:  Is it charged up?

Mom:  What do you mean?

Me:  Have you charged it lately?  Maybe the battery is dead?

Mom:  Where do the batteries go?  And what kind does it take?  I don't even see how you would put batteries in this thing, it's so small!

Me:  Mom, it has an internal battery just like your cell phone.  You need to plug it in and charge it up.

Mom:  I see.  I tried to call Tiffany with it using the face thing, but it didn't work.

Me:  Maybe she wasn't available and couldn't answer?

Mom:  Why wouldn't she be available?

     Sometimes I think I'm stuck back in the 80's.  Mom's stuck back in the 60's!  She wants a tv that just has an on and off switch, and a phone that hangs on the wall and rings with a bell.  She's still stuck in the more simple America.  She did eventually buy a laptop computer and uses it to pay her bills with, but she doesn't understand youtube, and tells me she can't even find it on her computer.  She's always amazed when I show her videos when I come over.  She always says she wants to learn, but just can't quite get adjusted to today's tech.  I sometimes have to kind of ease her into new things.

     But still, Mother's Day is coming and I really should do something nice for mom.  Even though I don't say it, I do love her.  So maybe a trip to the local Apple Store is in order?  It'll be fun just to see Mom's face while she looks at all the Apple stuff that she's afraid to touch!  *chuckle*

Happy early Mother's Day, mom.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Vegas Manners

     I've lived in Las Vegas now for a lot of years.  And I'm not sure if it's the place, the culture, or what, but people here just don't have any manners.  It's like living in a zoo full of monkeys!  And I don't just mean the tourists who come here and crap on the floor (Yes, there are some who will actually drop their pants and crap right out in the open), pee on the floor, puke everywhere, push and shove, climb in fountains, destroy hotel rooms...uh...ok, I think you get the idea.

     Now don't get me wrong, there are civilized people who come here and gamble, see shows, and behave like they actually live in a normal society.  There are also people that live here and know how to behave.  I just don't seem to run across too many of them.

     Let's look at my work environment.  I work as a Security Officer in a Las Vegas casino on the Strip.  What prestige, huh?  I spend a lot of time in the dispatch office which is where you answer phone calls, and dispatch other officers to where they need to go.  On a typical shift I might have to deal with anywhere from 200 to 300 phone calls during the summer.  Here's a typical one:

Me:  Security, this is Robert.

Moron:  Can you send some women up to my room? *snicker*

Me:  How about I transfer you to the police department and you talk to them about that?  This is room 6433, isn't it?

Moron:  ... ... no, it's...another room.

Me:  Ok then, transferring you to the police dispatcher.  (I push transfer, and the button on my phone that says *Metro* and then hang up the phone)

     Yes, he was very funny, wasn't he?  Did this moron actually come to Las Vegas, rent a room, and crank call security?  This is really supposed to be funny, huh?  People call the operator and ask what color underwear she's wearing.  Would you call and ask your mom that?  (I'm sure some of these people would.)  You're calling and asking somebody's mom that!

     Beyond the stupid tourists, let's look at some of the locals.  How about some of the other people that I work with in security?  Here's a typical scenario:

     I send a guy up to a room because someone has checked out and left behind his cell phone.  No problem, the room is unoccupied, and all the security officer has to do is enter the hotel room, pick up the phone, and bring it down to the Security Booth in the casino.  Here's how it's went down before:

Me:  Ok, Tango 2, head to room 6433 and check for a cell phone left behind by the guest.  The room is unoccupied.

Tango 2:  Room 4633, copy.

Me:  No, I said room 6433.  That's 6...4...3...3.

Tango 2:  Yeah, yeah, I got it!

40 minutes later:

Me:  Control to Tango 2, have you found that phone yet?

Tango 2:  What phone?

Me:  The cell phone I sent you to room 6433 for.  Are you in the room looking for it?

Tango 2:  Oh yeah...I'm almost there.

     Almost there.  So this guy was running around for 40 minutes instead of going to the hotel room to get the cell phone.  What a pain in the ass!

Tango 2:  Control, I entered the room, but there were people in here!  They're pretty unhappy now!

Me:  People?  Find out who they are, room 6433 is supposed to be vacant.

Tango 2:  6433?  You said room 4211!  Now they want a manager!  This is all your fault because you don't know how to talk to people!

     How do you even respond to that?  The guy goofs off and then wants to blame me because he went in the wrong room.  What a great employee!  Sometimes security is just a horror show.  But after I get off things are much better, right?  Oy...maybe not.

     I get off and want to buy some milk.  I head over to Walmart.  Yes Walmart, the cheap place full of societies' wonderful people.  As I get to the milk section, there is lady with her basket blocking the milk I want to get.  She's staring into the cooler.  She stares...and stares...and stares.  Geez, she won't move.  Yes, maybe I could say "Excuse me" and get her to move, but I figure she's just going to get some milk soon and leave.  I wait and wait.  She never moves!  I'll just go and get something else and then come back.

     I head to the chip aisle and find some chips.  While getting the chips, at first I think someone is talking to me.  I hear "You can't do that!  No, absolutely not, no!"  Was someone forbidding me to buy chips?  No, it's some moron yelling into his cell phone!  He moves over to stand right next to me while still screaming at the top of his lungs!  "NO!  You'd damned well better not!"  I wonder if I should slap the shit out of him?  (Oh phooey, now I'm turning into one of them...keep your cool, Robert.)

     I grab a bag of chips and go back to the milk aisle.  The woman is still standing in front of the milk cooler staring at the milk!  The screaming man follows me towards the milk and keeps yelling.  "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"  The woman in front of the milk hears this and jumps!  She grabs her basket and moves quickly away!  At least the cell phone moron has cleared the way for me to get milk.

     How did I get writing about Walmart and all this?  Oh yeah, rude people in Vegas.  I think I've rambled on about this for long enough.  People here just don't seem as polite as people in other places I've taken trips to, or lived.  Maybe I should move?