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Monday, May 2, 2011

Vegas Manners

     I've lived in Las Vegas now for a lot of years.  And I'm not sure if it's the place, the culture, or what, but people here just don't have any manners.  It's like living in a zoo full of monkeys!  And I don't just mean the tourists who come here and crap on the floor (Yes, there are some who will actually drop their pants and crap right out in the open), pee on the floor, puke everywhere, push and shove, climb in fountains, destroy hotel rooms...uh...ok, I think you get the idea.

     Now don't get me wrong, there are civilized people who come here and gamble, see shows, and behave like they actually live in a normal society.  There are also people that live here and know how to behave.  I just don't seem to run across too many of them.

     Let's look at my work environment.  I work as a Security Officer in a Las Vegas casino on the Strip.  What prestige, huh?  I spend a lot of time in the dispatch office which is where you answer phone calls, and dispatch other officers to where they need to go.  On a typical shift I might have to deal with anywhere from 200 to 300 phone calls during the summer.  Here's a typical one:

Me:  Security, this is Robert.

Moron:  Can you send some women up to my room? *snicker*

Me:  How about I transfer you to the police department and you talk to them about that?  This is room 6433, isn't it?

Moron:  ... ... no, it's...another room.

Me:  Ok then, transferring you to the police dispatcher.  (I push transfer, and the button on my phone that says *Metro* and then hang up the phone)

     Yes, he was very funny, wasn't he?  Did this moron actually come to Las Vegas, rent a room, and crank call security?  This is really supposed to be funny, huh?  People call the operator and ask what color underwear she's wearing.  Would you call and ask your mom that?  (I'm sure some of these people would.)  You're calling and asking somebody's mom that!

     Beyond the stupid tourists, let's look at some of the locals.  How about some of the other people that I work with in security?  Here's a typical scenario:

     I send a guy up to a room because someone has checked out and left behind his cell phone.  No problem, the room is unoccupied, and all the security officer has to do is enter the hotel room, pick up the phone, and bring it down to the Security Booth in the casino.  Here's how it's went down before:

Me:  Ok, Tango 2, head to room 6433 and check for a cell phone left behind by the guest.  The room is unoccupied.

Tango 2:  Room 4633, copy.

Me:  No, I said room 6433.  That's 6...4...3...3.

Tango 2:  Yeah, yeah, I got it!

40 minutes later:

Me:  Control to Tango 2, have you found that phone yet?

Tango 2:  What phone?

Me:  The cell phone I sent you to room 6433 for.  Are you in the room looking for it?

Tango 2:  Oh yeah...I'm almost there.

     Almost there.  So this guy was running around for 40 minutes instead of going to the hotel room to get the cell phone.  What a pain in the ass!

Tango 2:  Control, I entered the room, but there were people in here!  They're pretty unhappy now!

Me:  People?  Find out who they are, room 6433 is supposed to be vacant.

Tango 2:  6433?  You said room 4211!  Now they want a manager!  This is all your fault because you don't know how to talk to people!

     How do you even respond to that?  The guy goofs off and then wants to blame me because he went in the wrong room.  What a great employee!  Sometimes security is just a horror show.  But after I get off things are much better, right?  Oy...maybe not.

     I get off and want to buy some milk.  I head over to Walmart.  Yes Walmart, the cheap place full of societies' wonderful people.  As I get to the milk section, there is lady with her basket blocking the milk I want to get.  She's staring into the cooler.  She stares...and stares...and stares.  Geez, she won't move.  Yes, maybe I could say "Excuse me" and get her to move, but I figure she's just going to get some milk soon and leave.  I wait and wait.  She never moves!  I'll just go and get something else and then come back.

     I head to the chip aisle and find some chips.  While getting the chips, at first I think someone is talking to me.  I hear "You can't do that!  No, absolutely not, no!"  Was someone forbidding me to buy chips?  No, it's some moron yelling into his cell phone!  He moves over to stand right next to me while still screaming at the top of his lungs!  "NO!  You'd damned well better not!"  I wonder if I should slap the shit out of him?  (Oh phooey, now I'm turning into one of them...keep your cool, Robert.)

     I grab a bag of chips and go back to the milk aisle.  The woman is still standing in front of the milk cooler staring at the milk!  The screaming man follows me towards the milk and keeps yelling.  "I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!"  The woman in front of the milk hears this and jumps!  She grabs her basket and moves quickly away!  At least the cell phone moron has cleared the way for me to get milk.

     How did I get writing about Walmart and all this?  Oh yeah, rude people in Vegas.  I think I've rambled on about this for long enough.  People here just don't seem as polite as people in other places I've taken trips to, or lived.  Maybe I should move?

1 comment:

  1. Very funny. I can say where I live people are more polite but no less the moron. My son went to Walmart to buy a few groceries (ie beer and chips) and while he was there he hears a woman begin to shout, so he steps around to see what the commotion is about. In front of the milk cooler is a young woman he describes as being as big around as a twig, screaming, "Where's the nonfat milk? Seriously? There's no nonfat milk? What am I going to mix my Slim-Fast with? I guess I'll just starve myself!" All this at the top of her lungs!!

    Walmart is the new nuthouse....

    Rie McGaha