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Tuesday, October 11, 2011

News Bashing

I haven't written a blog in a while, and decided I wanted to rip into the nightly news.  No, I don't mean anything topical, or any recent news like "Las Vegas among Lowest in the U.S. in credit scores" which is an actual news story here this week.  I mean I think I'm going to rip into news programs.

Now I do have some friends on facebook who work in news rooms.  This is sarcasm people.  Don't be sending me messages bitching that newscasters are people, too!  They aren't!  No one is actually "people!" and if you aren't ready to laugh at what I'm writing, give up right here.


Here's a nice news crew.  I won't say what channel they're...oh shit, it's right there in the picture, isn't it?  Oh well.  These guys are local Las Vegas News.  And here are a few questions for them.  (And this is without even commenting about the guitar guy with his foot on the desk!)  News anchors read from a teleprompter, don't they?  Then why are there papers on the desk?  Are we taking some notes?  Is there more info there?  And what's with the laptops?  Are we looking things up as we report the story?  You need the facts before you report it, journalism 101!  This just boggles me.  


Here's Walter Cronkite at his news desk.  He needed notes.  Back when he did the news, they barely had lights in the studio, let alone a teleprompter.  And he really had to think about what he was reading.  I'm sure every now and then someone would slip a story onto the desk like "Terrorist monkeys attempted a take over of the San Diego Zoo today."  Would he have read that?  Or would Walter have skipped over it?  I'd like to think he would have read the story, and with a straight face.  But as you can see, no laptop.  Of course they weren't invented back then, but still...  Let's go back to the Vegas news crew again:


Ok, forgetting the papers and laptops, both anchors are very...nicely...dressed.  Ok, what's with the flexing black guy?  Actually, I believe this is the morning news crew.  I like to watch them.  I think that coffee cup is SITTING ON SOME OF LISA'S NOTES!  (Lisa would be the nice lady anchor on the right.  You know, the shocked one looking at the flexing black guy?)  How did her notes get all the way over there, anyway?  What is with all the paperwork, people?  Is this a news show, or a government office?  Well, at least they're dressed nicely.  Hopefully the station won't hire some kid eventually who just wears a t-shirt and some ripped jeans to do the news.

Speaking of clothes, here's a nice web news program.  I have absolutely no idea what the news was, though.  Once the one lady took off her pants, I didn't hear a word they were saying.  AND THIS ISN'T EVEN THE ACTUAL NAKED NEWS SHOW!  So no, they don't take off everything.  They take off enough, though.  They have to worry what to wear to work that can be taken off easily.  Wow.  I think the one lady says something about terrorist monkeys at the zoo, or something.  I dunno.  Wow.  Ok, enough about the news, I'm going to surf the web and find the real "Naked news."  I probably won't need the sound, though.





Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Man vs Dense

People are dumb.  What happened in between the time I was growing up in the 80's and now that made people so much dumber?  Or maybe they were this dumb, but the world wasn't as connected as it is today, so we couldn't tell?

Take tv for example.  There is a show called "Man Vs. Food."  It about this guy who visits restaurants, checks out the food, and then at the end he tries some gluttonous, insane eating challenge.  Can you eat 6 pounds of fries and a 10 patty burger?  Can you do it in less than 10 minutes?  Can you eat all of these hot wings that will probably burn your intestines?  Hooray, give it a shot and you can become a celebrity!


Yup, that's the guy.  Adam Richmond.  You can't beat the guy's originality, and he does have a bit of charisma.  At least when he's not trying to wolf down a huge pile of food, he's charismatic.  I'll admit I do like the show.  It's fun to watch while I scream "EAT IT, EAT IT, YOU PIG!" at the tv screen.  How fun to watch in high definition!  It's too bad that after Man Vs. Food they don't have another show called Man Vs. Toilet.  I'd honestly love to see him use the bathroom after he's taken one of the "Hot wings" challenges.

But that's tv, right?  Tv is supposed to be silly.  Real life isn't like tv, is it?  Actually, real life is worse than tv.  I work in a Las Vegas casino.  The place beats the hell out of any show that was ever on tv!  


I work with people who complain about how bad the casino is, how badly the casino runs, and what a slum it is.  And then they come in on their days off to spend time in the casino they hate.  There are a hundred different casinos here in Vegas, why would you go to the one you work at on your days off?  And then these people seek out other people they know so that they can show off that they're hanging around on their days off.  There have even been a few who go to the bar, get drunk, and then start harassing hotel guests and we have to throw them out.  If you saw this kind of thing on tv, you'd think it was made up!  No one really does that, right?  Wrong.

We have people who are tv celebrities because they go out and get drunk and act like idiots.  I'd like to say I'm talking about Jersey Shore, but there are other dumb shows on, too.  All you need to do to become a celebrity now is be on tv.  It doesn't even matter what for!  If you're on, you're hot!  There are shows about repossessing cars, bounty hunting, and even a show about cheating on your significant (or insignificant) other!


Are we really in a culture where people want to watch some idiots cheating on a spouse?  What the hell?  Great thing for the kids to learn from, right?  

So if you ever wonder why we haven't made it to Mars yet, or why we don't have flying cars.  Why we haven't developed transporters like in Star Trek, or why we don't yet understand how to build star ships that can travel the universe.  Watch some tv, or look around you.  We're more interested in being dumb.  Well, that and being greedy.  Maybe later I'll write a blog about greedy.  Oy.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

TV when you're sick

I caught this year's flu.  Yuck.  And so what did I do for my days off this week?  I stayed in bed and watched tv.  And what do you suppose I watched?  Re-runs of I Love Lucy?  Unfortunately no, I ended up watching some reality tv.  Well, sort of reality.  Take this show Carfellas.  Does this actually look real to anyone?  It might be, I'm sure there are people like this somewhere.  But it looks a bit made up to me:


Now the premise of this show is that the main guy Mike was in prison for "racketeering" for the "mob" I guess?  And now he's out of prison and decides to run a used car lot with two other fat Italian guys.  Not that I don't believe this, but I tried googling his name, and can't really seem to find any news reports, or anything that really links this guy to a "mob."  And the only news report I could find that said he did three years in prison was written as a promo for the show.  I don't see this one lasting.  *chuckle*  

Next is one of my favorite shows now!  It's called "Bar Rescue." This guy goes to bars that are really pretty much slums and fixes them up so they'll be profitable and decent places to drink.  He always fixes up bars that are also restaurants, and the best part of the show is when he goes in and starts yelling about how the kitchen is filthy, or how there is a dead mouse somewhere, or garbage piled up in a corner.  And the employees never seem to understand what he's yelling about.  They'll tell the camera "I'm pretty embarrassed about what he's saying right now." but they've been working in this filth for years!  So they were embarrassed, but were always to lazy to fix anything!  It's hilarious!


I watched this episode this morning.  This clip wasn't in the episode, though.  Probably because good ol' John there talks about "manipulating employees."  If you actually listen to what he's saying, he's right.  He does know what he's talking about.  "You want employees to like you so they don't steal from you." Very good philosophy!  *chuckle*  The bar that they're in right now was called Swanky (Stinky) Bubbles.  One of the owners was giving away most of the drinks free to women so he could hit on them, but he couldn't figure out why the bar was losing money.  One of the "cooks" quit when John told him to start cleaning up the filthy kitchen.  It was really hilarious!  The funniest part of this episode to me was that at the end they always tell you what happened 30 days after the bar was fixed up.  30 days after this one was fixed up, it was right back in the toilet where it started.  Some people just don't listen. *chuckle*

And last, but not least, another ultimate favorite of mine:  Man and Woman vs Wild.  This one is just silly.  The man is an ex military survival expert, and the woman is his blonde, ex newscaster wife.  She's a British bimbo.  I don't say that to be rude, but you don't take your city girl, feminine blonde wife out into the wilds and then try to survive without supplies.  In the "Alaska" episode, they wouldn't have survived, and had to stop the show and call in rescue people.  Things just didn't work out.  That's ok, I can accept that, people don't always survive.  In another episode though, the blonde woman ends up with heat stroke and they call in a medic who gives her water, and food, and gets her well again in a couple of hours.  Then she wants to continue.  It's not really a survival situation if when things get rough you just call in a medic! Just a goofy show!  


Now not to dog on the blonde, but look at how much footage they show of her with this thing in her mouth.  How many of the crew do you think were in stitches watching this?  Yes, it's meant to be a survival technique, but all we see on tv is this blonde shoving a phallic object into her mouth over and over.  You don't see the guy sucking on it.  How...entertaining.

So, that's it for watching tv while I was sick.  I think I slept through most everything else.  With any luck I'll feel better next week and get back to work on setting up my book for release.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Writing your best


     This is a story I was told way back in Jr. High school in journalism class:

A young writer finishes off college and gets a degree in journalism.  He gets his dream job at a large newspaper and goes to work.  On his first day, he is given an assignment and writes out his article, excited that he'll finally see a story of his in the newspaper.  He submits it, and the next day reads the newspaper from front to back, but his article is nowhere to be found.  He can't believe it!

The next day, after being given his next assignment, he writes it out, but instead of submitting it, he takes it personally into the editor's office and sets it down in front of the editor.  "I'm finished with the story." he says proudly.  The editor doesn't even look up from his desk and says "Is this the best you can do?"  The reporter thinks for a minute and then says "No, I can do better."  He takes he story back to his desk to rework it.

After rewriting the story again, he takes it back to the editor.  The editor asks again "Is this the best you can do?"  The reporter is shocked.  He thinks about it and again says "No, I'm sure I can do better."  He leaves to rewrite the story.  This time, he finds pictures, he uses spell check, he talks to witnesses, he goes all out on the story.  He does an incredible amount of work and then marches back into the editor's office.  As he tosses the story on the editor's desk, the editor asks his question:  "Is this the best you can do?"

The frustrated reporter glares at the editor.  "Yes, this is the best I can do!" he shouts.  The editor now looks at the story placed on his desk and answers "Ok, then I'll read this one."

The moral here is that you need to always put your best stuff out there.  

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Day #7...End of the week.

Ok, I'm aggravated.  Well, kind of aggravated.  Long, stupid night at work last night.  I won't even go into what went on in that evil, little pyramid!  (Yes, little.  Check out the dimensions of one of the pyramids in Egypt sometime!)

But my work week, and blog week is over!  This is the last blog of the exercise!  Now I can go back to writing sarcastic remarks about tourists who run around in their underwear with no ID!  Hooray!

A friend named Kallypso Masters just self published a book called Masters at Arms.  It's the first book of a series she's writing.  She has it out for only 99 cents on the Kindle!  99 CENTS, people!  You can spare a penny less than a buck, can't you?  I did.  And I might even read the book soon!  *chuckle*  Ok, yes, I will read and review her book.  First, I need to finish the current book I'm reading.  It's just a few pages shorter than War and Peace.  I've been working on this one for something like three months now, I'll be the author thinks I took the book, but wasn't going to do a review!  I will, though.  It's just taking me forever to get through his book.

Anyway, go to Amazon and buy Masters at Arms for your Kindle.  And if you don't have a Kindle...well...but one anyway, it's less than a dollar for crying out loud!  *chuckle*  And thus ends my week of blogs, and my commercial for Masters at Arms.

Also go and buy my books!  *chuckle*

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Day #6...The Moon

Ok, here we go.  I'm up and awake after a nice sleep and ready to put out the blog for Day # 6.  Last night was a full moon (or close enough to it).  Of course, sitting over Vegas that's like a bug zapper for human bugs.  It brings all the idiots to the Strip.


Can you see it way up there at the top?  That just usually means the exceptionally stupid will come into the casino.  I was supposed to be working on the casino floor, but I go into work and find out I'm now suddenly stuck in the booth again.  I'm very unhappy!  But, thanks to a guy named Vic, I was able to trade off the booth position and work in the hotel.  Thanks Vic!  That entailed mostly walking around in the hallway, helping a few of the bugs...uh...guests who were locked out, but didn't have any identification on them.  Who walks around without any ID?  I still can't figure out why you would walk around in a casino with no ID?  Do these people go out at home without a wallet?  I mean, I understand they're on vacation, but when I go somewhere for vacation I always have my wallet on me!  

People get into a cab and arrive at the hotel, but don't have any money on them to pay the cab driver.  They go into the cafe, order food and eat it, but don't have any money on them to pay.

"I'll just go up to my room and come back with the money later."

Ah...no, you won't.  Do these people eat at a restaurant at home and then pull this kind of shit?  Why would you think you could possibly eat and then come back later, if you felt like it, with money?

Ok, enough rambling about stupid people in the casino.  After work I decide I want a cheeseburger.  I hit the Jack in the Box drive thru on my way home and end up right at the window waiting for my food!  Soon there's a guy in another car behind me, and then another couple of people behind him!  I'm first in line though, hooray!  He starts to get impatient and begins honking his horn at me!  I'm still waiting for my food!  I get sick of his honking his horn, I'm tired, I'm getting mad, so finally I put my car in reverse and stepped on the gas.  I went backwards and smashed into him.  Then I pulled forward and went backwards a few more times, making sure I destroyed the idiot's headlights!  He starts to get out of his car...

Ok, most of that last paragraph was bologna.  *chuckle*  I did go to Jack in the Box, but the guy behind me was patient, he didn't honk, and I didn't back into him.  But I did get some good food.  And since I was hungry and tired, I ate and went to bed.  That's why I didn't write the blog until tonight.  *chuckle*



Ok, one more day to go with this little exercise.  Tune in tomorrow and see how boring the last day is!  Hooray!

Friday, August 12, 2011

Day #5...The Tire

Ok, for today since it was a work day I slept most of the day like normal.  I did get up a bit early to watch some football, but it really wasn't that good of a game played by two teams I consider mediocre losers.  Anyway, I went to work.  I did remember to take a picture this time on my way inside.


Really pretty?  Just a normal night to me.  So I headed inside and did my dispatch thing.  After work, a bike officer mentioned to me that one of my rear tires looks really low and seems a bit soft.  I check it out, and the tire does look about half flat.  Phooey!  I figure I can stop on the way home and just put some air in it no problem.  I check a few different gas stations, and all of these damned places want $1  for air!  A fucking dollar!  (Yes, I just swore, get over it.)  Finally, I picked one near a car wash where I could get some change and forked over the dollar.  I can't believe you can't get air for free anymore!  Sheesh!


I also end up texting a friend and telling her I think she would look good in a military uniform...one with a skirt.  *chuckle*  She says the skirt would have to be short.  I mention the Air Force skirts came to about the woman's knees.  I'm thinking back while telling her this about a girl named Claudia.  While we were in Texas she did wear the Air Force skirt a few times and always looked great!  I do wish I had a picture of her to show my friend!  (If you actually ever read this Claudia, you should send me a picture of you in the uniform skirt, you looked great!)

I forgot to take a picture of the casino on my way out because I was worrying about the tire.  At least I took one before going in, though!  So now I'll probably pout about paying a dollar for some air for the rest of the morning!

Two more days to go documenting what I do...sort of.  Tune in tomorrow and find out what else I end up having to pay for!  Oy!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Day #4...work day...or night

Today's blog will be short and sweet.  Well, probably not sweet.  I slept all day yesterday and then headed to work.  I had planned to take a picture of the casino after I had parked and was on my way inside.  Instead, I wan't happy, got distracted by stupid drivers and stomped my way inside without taking a picture.  I'll just substitute a picture, how's that?


Whoo!  Look at all the snow!  Look at all...it's still summer, isn't it?  Oh well, pretend it's winter and enjoy the snowy pyramid.  Anyway, I end up spending most of my night sitting in the security "podium."  I hate working there.  Most of my night was pointing towards the bathroom and then listening to people repeat "where?" back at me.  I always want so bad to say, "I'm not sure, I didn't see where I was pointing either!"

I did escape, so to speak, from the booth (Podium, whatever the damn thing is!) for a bit when I was sent down for a "CPR refresher course" where I tried to bring a mannequin back to life by doing CPR on it.  I don't think it worked, but I did pass the class. 

Now I'm going to have a snack and then go to bed so I can wake up early and try to watch some football!  (Actually, I'll probably just keep hitting snooze on the alarm and sleep through most of the football.  But we'll see.)

Ok, tune in again tomorrow to be bored reading about another work night!

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Day #3...Did nothing, phooey!


Ok, watch the video if you haven't already.  Yes, all 4:35 of it!  WHAT'S GOING ON?  Not much to write about today, but I loved the video and the song.  The lip synching is great, too!  *chuckle*  I also noticed that you never see "He Man" in the video, only "Prince Adam."  I also loved the cook stirring the pot while these guys are yowling away!  If you actually did watch the whole video, you see the cook again at the very end.  Ok, yes, go back and watch again and I'll wait.

I again stayed on my grave schedule and slept all day.  After getting up, I wanted to do something, but it was a bit late.  At least for shopping and such.  I didn't really get moving until around 7:30 pm.  So I headed out to get some groceries and thought maybe I'd look around a bit, too.  First, I had to deposit a check in the bank.  I figured I'd use the ATM since I hate dealing with people, especially people in a bank!  It's been so long since I've had a check to put in the bank, I figured you still needed an envelope, and had to write your account number on it, and do a whole production like that.  But NO!

After putting my card into the ATM, it tells me to just slide the check in.  That was it.  It then even printed out a deposit receipt with a picture of the check on it for me!  I loved it!  I wish I had more checks to deposit now!  (Hopefully that'll happen soon.)

So I moved on and figured I'd look around in Best Buy.  I love electronic things.  Still trying to save my money until I can build my account up a bit, so I didn't really buy anything.  But it was still neat to look around.


I leave there and head to Walmart for the groceries.  No, you don't get to see a picture of the Walmart, they all look the same.  BUT, I decide to stop and look in this little comic book store nearby!  It's been...well...decades since I've been in a comic book store, I want to buy a few!  I get to the door and see they close at 8pm.  It's 7:57.  Oh well, no comic books then.


Then I bought my groceries and went home.  The only other thing I figured was notable was that I bought some BBQ Corn Nuts.  It's been years since I've had any of those, and they were always good.  So I figured I'd try a few now.  Also stopped at Carl's Jr on the way home and bought a mushroom burger meal.  That's basically a mushroom burger with fries and a drink.  It cost me almost $10!  Sheesh!


You should play the youtube video I have posted while you read the rest of the post.  Then you have some theme music for my day.  *chuckle*  I'll have to do that for tomorrow's post.  I go back to work tomorrow night, so I won't write and post the blog until I come home in the morning.  And no, I won't talk about anything that goes on at work...probably...unless it's something that really pissed me off.  We'll find out, though.  I'll have to find a theme song for how my night at work goes, too.

So it looks like Day #4 won't be up until...I guess the morning of 8/11/11.  Stay tuned, and be bored by how my day (night) went!

Monday, August 8, 2011

Day #2 Something more exciting

Ok, here we are on day two of my blog exercise.  I kept on my graveyard schedule and slept until around 4:30.  I ran a few errands, and then didn't really want to come home and write about how I didn't really do anything.  Who the hell wants to read that?  And this blog is supposed to be about Vegas adventures, isn't it?  (Well, adventures, bitches, my opinions...blah, blah, blah.)

Anyway, I decided to drive to Caesar's Palace.  And, since I haven't been there in a long, long time, I of course got lost.  I could see the casino, but couldn't get to it.  I'm on the wrong side of the freeway, now I'm on the wrong side of town, now I'm going back the wrong way...I almost got frustrated enough to just turn around and go home!  (If I could find my way there...for crying out loud!)

I finally make it into the parking garage and head inside.  I figured I could take some pictures and show off where I was to people who might not have been here before.  Caesar's has been here for decades.  And by decades, I mead DECADES!  It's went through a ton of changes, but they do pretty much still maintain the...feel of the place, I guess you'd say.  I stood in the casino wondering if I could somehow take a little bit of video and see if it actually gave you the feel of being there!  It doesn't.  But take a look anyway:

video

I took a walk through the casino and found the front desk.  Not really thrilling for me, but if you've seen the movie "The Hangover" this is where they checked into the hotel.


Notice the two little children rolling around on the floor!  I'm sure mommy and daddy are very proud!  Or gambling somewhere not watching their kids...anyway, moving on:

A casino is a casino to me...also since they had security watching the pits, I couldn't get any pictures of the pits.  People betting $100,000 a hand don't like having their picture taken sometimes.  *chuckle* So I moved on to look around at the shops where I could never afford anything.  Not things just a bit out of my price range, but things like this:  A Faberge pendant.  They guy inside looked like he wanted to charge me $100 just for looking at the damned thing!  But I fixed him, I took a picture and am posting it here in my blog!  HA!


Oh, I should stop and eat at Spago!  Hooray, a world famous restaurant, I wonder if Wolfgang is in?  Probably not.  And no, I didn't eat there.  To be honest, eating out near all the people walking around would make me nervous.  I don't want to eat near a bunch of pushing, shoving tourists!


Something a bit more...contemporary would probably suit me better.  Oh, here's one!  Planet Hollywood!  Uh...there is a casino down the street owned by Planet Hollywood, too.  Once again, I'm not going to eat here, too many ignorant tourists (and probably ignorant locals, too.)


Maybe a bar would be better.  I don't drink, but back out in the casino there is a small place called...


Can you read it?  The place is called "numb."  I wonder if the drinks are called numb, too?  

"Hi, I'd like some numb."

"The drinks MAKE you numb, they aren't called numb."

"Oh, I see.  Give me a blue one, it'll look nice when I'm good and numb and throwing it up in the coy pond over near the front desk!"

Back to the shops.  Oh look, here's a nice place!  I'll just get my credit card out and...oh, on second thought, looking at the brand name, I couldn't afford any of this stuff.  And besides, at the moment I don't have a girl to give any of it to.  Although I'm pretty sure if I could afford this stuff, a girl would show up ready to have it given to her.


I keep walking and find a shop that freaks me out so much, I won't go near it.  No one should be allowed to have this many mannequins!  This many is just...spooky!  Can you tell how many in this are mannequins and how many are real people?  Just...creepy!


Ok, I've had about enough of Caesar's and the crowds.  I'm ready to end my little trip to the Strip and head home.  I'll pop a couple more pictures up here before I go, though:



Ok, that's all for today's adventures.  I went somewhere and took some pictures.  Hooray!  Now I think it's time for me to get some "numb" of my own!

Tune in again tomorrow and I'll bore you some more!

Sunday, August 7, 2011

A look at Robert's week, day #1

Ok folks, as a writing exercise I've decided to spend seven fun filled days writing about my days.  Thoughts, pictures, whatever.  I wanted to see if I would actually have anything to write about, so here goes.  Living in Las Vegas doesn't necessarily mean that every day is full of fantastic excitement, though.  Today, for example, was probably a pretty boring day to write about.  I slept most of the day, and then drove over to visit my friend "Chinstrap."  No, you don't get to see a picture of him.  His girlfriend actually made a fantastic dinner, and I do want to tell her thank you, I wasn't really that hungry, but what I did eat was really delicious!  So thanks, Chun!  (Yes, her name is Chun, and being Chinese, she made Chinese food for dinner.  Trust me when I say there's nothing better than home made Chinese food made by someone who is really Chinese!)  Damn...now that I think about it, I probably should have taken a picture of the food.  Oh well, write and learn, right?

Chinstrap and I were talking about security, and a few other things, and he starts to tell me he wants to find and buy something called a "Slap Jack."  He finds a picture online and shows me.  It's a lead filled piece of leather that you can used to smash someone across the face with.  Well, across the face, in the ribs, on the back...you get the idea.  He tells me this story of a relative who while working in law enforcement had used one to smack a guy across the face after the guy had spit on him.  I guess he knocked out a lot of the guy's teeth. 


So where was I?  Oh yes, we had this lovely dinner and were discussing...uh...not much else to say about tonight.  We did exchange a few videos, and then I headed home.  So now tonight, I'll probably watch some tv, and play a video game, or two and relax.  Then tomorrow, I'll remember to take some pictures and try to do something semi-exciting for my day off and post a few pictures.

So tune in tomorrow for day #2!  It can only get better from here, folks.  *chuckle*

Thursday, August 4, 2011

War


War.  Wars start because one idiot doesn't like another idiot.  World War One was started after the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated.  And yes, I looked that up.  It doesn't say who assassinated him though, or even why.  Did he not invite someone to a party, did he make fun of some guy on the street, or was it truly a political thing?  It doesn't really matter, because I'm not actually going to write about WW I.

I'm just...confused about a different kind of war I'm seeing now.  Some people might call it a war of information.  Just like most other people, I'm a member of Facebook.  And I post things on there once in a while, like this blog.  Recently, I've been seeing some people post some really nasty things on there.  Not just nasty, but sometimes aimed at other people!  People that they have on their friends list!  So...now they want a war of words with a friend?  I don't understand...

Herman:  I think people who eat cheese are stupid!  Cheese sucks!

Wally:  I actually like cheese.  There are all kinds, maybe you just need to try a few different kinds?

Herman:  You're a moron, you cheese eating, slimy, communist!  

Wally:  I just thought you might have gotten some bad cheese, or something?

Herman:  Screw you, cheese sleaze!

These are friends?  Now obviously this isn't a real conversation on Facebook.  You can probably tell because it's just written in red and blue and doesn't even really look like Facebook posts.  But you get the idea.  And no, there isn't really a fight going on about cheese!  At least not that I know of.  But it's the general idea.  Someone posts their political theory, someone else bad mouths it, and then we have a war of words going on.  I don't want to read this stuff!  What the hell?  I have enough animosity in my own life to keep me occupied, why do I have to read about why Herman hates people who eat cheese?  (Wow, here I am back at cheese again...I must be hungry.)

I want to read the pleasant posts.  A post about how my niece is doing in collage.  See a picture of my friend's horses, or the goat next door!  (I actually meant a goat.  Some friends live on farms, I didn't really mean an old man.  *chuckle*)  We're supposed to be friends on here!  Now people are getting offended by something someone writes and then the "de-friending" starts.  

Wally:  I de-friended someone because he called me a cheese sleaze!

Herman:  I had to de-friend this cheese eating commie the other day!

For crying out loud!  You know, I actually signed up for Facebook to promote my books.  And while on here I've made some really good friends, and reunited with some people from way back, too!  And for the most part, it's been pretty damned nice!  I've even made one, or two business connections for my writing.  But enough with the war of words, ok?  

Stop the bullshit and let's all be friends again.


Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Rides



I love amusement parks.  Who doesn't, right?  As a kid, you want to ride everything!  Well, not as a kid, but maybe as a stupid teenager?  Little kids are smart enough to stay off of some rides.  But some of them really can give a rush, I guess?  Here's a video of one I came across at a place in Ohio called Kings Island.  At the very end, a guy comes out of his seat and goes flying across the park!  ... ... ... Ok, that's actually a lie.  No one falls off, but it sure looks like someone is about to, doesn't it?


video

That's a safe ride.  But that's not what people want, is it?  We want unsafe rides.  People may say they want safe rides, but does this look safe?


Oh yeah, these people will have fun, won't they?  I'll bet vomit can be shot half a mile away if they spin the propeller fast enough!  Or maybe we can corrupt a safe ride and make it unsafe?  No one does that, do they?  Uh...


Nothing can go wrong there, right?  Oh yeah, he's real safe.  Someone please tell me this picture is photoshopped, or something!  Wow, people will just do anything, won't they?  Sheesh!  Personally, I'm going to stick with the safer rides.  Well...ok, maybe not the safest ones.  I do have an appreciation for this whiplash machine:


And because I know some of you are reading this and expecting me to show you some kind of ride accident, carnage, or something like that...here you go:  This is what you get when you allow idiots to ride the duckies!


What did you think was going to happen?  *chuckle*  

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Trip to Toys R Us...the sequel

Yup, once again I was bored and took a trip to Toys R Us to see what kind of toys are out there for the kids of today.  My generation had a whiffle ball and bat, a bike, and some stuffed animals.  This generation...well...they're spoiled stupid.

Here's a character called "The Joker."  He's a maniac, a killer, and not a very nice person!  Not the kind of role model you want for a little kid!


Or is he?  Let's make some toys based on this guy for little kids!  And not just little kids, but toddlers!  Hooray!


Need I say anymore about this?  Ok, it's just a clown, right?  How about this one?


He comes with a bazooka and...I guess large, metal anal probe?  What the hell is the metal thing on the left hand side of him?  Is it...does it maybe fit into the bazooka like ammo?  Then the kid who receives this can shoot the bazooka thing into his eye, or throat, or whatever!  Hooray!  As a side note here, when I was a kid I really wanted a Cylon fighter ship and little Cylon that would fit in the ship.  Before I could ask Mom for one, some kid shot the missiles attached to it down his throat and choked himself.  Then his mom sued the toy company and it was removed from the shelves.  Thanks, stupid kid!



Here's a good one.  It's the Playmobile family boating set.  It has a mom and dad, two kids, and all the fun outing stuff you'd need!  Fun for the tub, or the pool.  And then here comes the damn neighbor kid with the redneck boating set!


Your pretend family is trying to have fun on the pretend lake, and here come these drunken idiots with their huge grappling hook, and their noisy, nasty redneck boat!  Can you imagine these idiots zooming by the nice family and throwing beer cans at them?  YEEEEEHA!

Ok yes, maybe I'm taking these two toys way too seriously.  How about another boating toy?  And this one I can't really even figure out:


Ok, which one is the "True Hero?"  The squid, or the pirate guy with the black knife?  And why is this guy in what looks like a rowboat, anyway?  I guess the guy is a hero fighting the squid with his little black knife until the neighbor kids zoom by in their redneck boat and shoot the grappling hook into the squid and then they're the heros, right?  Or maybe they hook the little rowboat and sink the pirate guy?  (I think my imagination is running away here.)

Now I'm fine with merchandising.  George Lucas can in a way be called one of the fathers of this.  He was smart enough to keep the merchandising rights to Star Wars and the original figures are now expensive collectables!  Brilliant!  But...do we really have to merchandise everything now?  If a movie comes out, there are toys for it.


These are from the movie Cars 2.  The one on the left is a Gremlin.  My first car was a Gremlin.  They want $8.19 for these things?  The Gremlin I had cost me close to that!  And now they expect someone to pay that much for a Hotwheels type car that has eyes?  Hotwheels used to only be $0.99!  What the hell?    I've never actually seen a Hotwheels Gremlin, though.  I wonder if they're out there?


I did like Toy Story.  I liked all three movies.  These figures aren't from the movies, though.  These are from a short that came on before Cars 2!  Are we that desperate for money that we're now going to make an 8 minute, or so clip and then try to sell toys from that?

And last, but not least, how about this?  A lie detector for kids.  Do you suppose this actually works?  Can you see Dad one night sneaking this toy out and trying to question Mom with it?  We're really selling a lie detector set to kids?  And if it doesn't work, is that supposedly teaching kids that they can beat the machine?  Oy.


Ok, that's about it for this trip through Toys R Us.  I really do wonder what toys I'd be playing with if I were 10 today.  Probably video games.


Oy.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Ranting, Raving, bitching Robert

Yes, today I'm going to rant and bitch.  It's my blog, and I can do that if I want to!  Here's the deal:  I spend time on the things I write.  I make sure they're what I want to put out, I work on the stories, and usually for a book, it's taken me months to put one together.  Not months as in two or three, we're talking 10, or 11 months!  And now, here we have digital publishers.  I have nothing against them, as a matter of fact, I LOVE digital publishers!  They really help little independents like me get rolling.  But just because you can put a book out, doesn't mean you should.

Here's what I mean:  I'm seeing some people brag about putting out two, or three books or stories a month. What the hell is that?  Not that people can't write a book in 2 weeks, but...ok, you can't write and edit a good book or story in two weeks!  Not continuously!  BOOKS ARE NOT A NEWSPAPER COLUMN! Isn't the writing industry clogged enough?  Now I have to write and compete with someone who is putting out 50 books a year?  What the hell?  Just because you write a book every two weeks doesn't make you a good author, it makes you a puppy mill author! 

Ok, there's my rant for tonight.  

Friday, July 15, 2011

Land of the Dense

     Hi, and welcome to fabulous Las Vegas!


     Las Vegas is Wonderland!  You can come here and get as drunk as you want, do anything you like, and nothing bad will ever happen to you!

LAS VEGAS (AP) -- A man has been critically injured after falling from an escalator on the Las Vegas Strip.
  
Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department spokeswoman Laura Meltzer said the man fell about 30 feet from an escalator leading to a bridge near Caesar's and the Bellagio casino around 4:30 a.m. Friday.
  
Meltzer said the 39-year-old man was a French national in town for a convention. His identity has not been released.
  
He was reportedly with a group of people and attempted to stand on the railing when he fell.
  
Meltzer said alcohol appears to be involved.





Oh.  Ok, that doesn't look so good.  I can't believe that you'd injure yourself if you get really drunk and try to stand on the handrail of a moving escalator!  How unfair of Las Vegas to injure this person!  You'd think that drunk people can do anything!  Or at least drunk people think they can do anything.  VEGAS, BABY!


That's just one idiot though, right?  I mean, who does something like that?  You're pretty safe here crossing the street at least, right?



Pedestrian killed in Las Vegas Strip accident identified

Posted: Apr. 29, 2011 | 10:37 a.m.BY MIKE BLASKY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL
A man who died Thursday after being struck by a driver on the Las Vegas Strip was identified Friday.
Russell Barnet Fix III, 58, of Las Vegas, was struck and killed by a 1998 Ford F-150 truck driven by Aleesha C. Daly, 28, at 12:10 a.m. Thursday.
She was arrested by Las Vegas police on suspicion of drunken driving.
The collision happened on Las Vegas Boulevard just outside the Four Seasons Hotel.
Police said Fix had been in a crosswalk, but then entered the right travel lane and headed toward a bus stop. He was jaywalking when struck by the truck, police said.
Daly was booked into the Clark County jail. She is being held on a $2,000 bond.

Oh.  So even jaywalking is dangerous here?  Geez!  Vegas...baby?  It was probably the guy's fault for jaywalking.  Wait...the girl was driving drunk too, wasn't she?  Wow...
So I guess Las Vegas isn't the safe haven stupid people think it is, is it?  Now I don't feel as safe as I did before I started writing this.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Sports the way I want them

     Let's face it, professional sports are being ruined.  The NFL is in a lock out, the NBA is going to be in a lock out, baseball had two strikes years ago.  Money has ruined everything.  I think it's time for me to watch golf, but I want a few changes:

     First, I want "enhancers" legalized for the sport.  And not just enhancers, I want anabolic steroids not only legalized, I want them mandatory!  I want to see a guy who can hit a 600 yard drive and then after he misses a putt go nuts and start attacking the spectators!  I want this guy to be my favorite golfer:


     Here he is on the first tee, Mr...ah...Graaaaaahhh Gmmmmbble!  At first, he misses the ball completely and then starts attacking a nearby tree.  Then, after he knocks the tree down, he goes running back and smashes the golf ball 625 yards!  Unfortunately, the hole he's golfing on is only 225 yards long.  He runs over to the hole and can't find his ball.  Now he goes nuts, breaks the flag in the hole, and starts attacking his caddy.



     How about that?  Doesn't that sound more fun?  I want Lyle Alzado golf!  If you don't know who he was, he played pro football.  He did a lot of steroids and played 15 years of football.  Then he died of brain cancer at 43.  I can remember reading somewhere that when he was playing for Oakland, each day during practice a "Roach Coach" sandwich truck would pull up outside the stadium.  If Lyle didn't get the first sandwich from the truck, he would attack whoever did.  Now that's football!  Or at least steroid football...ok, steroid roach coach fun.  But still, if he were still alive, he could be part of a celebrity roid golf tournament!

     I'm sure there will be people reading this who will want to call me names, and say I'm making fun of a really dark part of sports.  But these guys did this stuff to themselves.  Another part of the "win at any cost" mentality.  And whether you like it, or not, I still want to see steroid golf!


     Here's Chi-Chi Rodriguez.  He doesn't golf anymore, he got too old, I think.  But he was fun!  Chi-Chi wasn't full of steroids, but when he would sink a really good putt, he would wave his putter around like he was sword fighting!  Yay, Chi-Chi!  Where is that in sports anymore, let alone golf?  I never heard anything bad about Chi-Chi...at all...EVER!  He was fun, and a good guy.  So if you won't let me have roid golf, how about we get more guys like Chi-Chi in the tournaments?  They may not golf well, but they won't be boring!  (And that's not to say that Chi-Chi wasn't any good, either!  He won 8 titles on the PGA Tour between 1963 and 1979, and is in the golf hall of fame!  I checked wikipedia.)

     So what the hell was I even writing about, anyway?  Oh yeah, how bad sports have become and what would help me watch golf.  Let's end this with a few...gems from sporting's past:


Bo Jackson.  He played both football for the Oakland Raiders, and baseball for the Kansas City Royals.  After striking out, he would routinely break his bat over his knee.  Yahoo!


Deon Sanders.  Famous for his football play, he also actually played pro baseball!  And was actually pretty good at both sports, too!  People either loved, or hated Deon (And still today as a commentator, people hate him.), but they can't deny he had a LOT of talent!

Finally, Jim Abbott.  This guy was born with only one hand, his left.  And still, he pitched in major league baseball!  And before you think the California Angles were just being nice letting him play, he also pitched for the New York Yankees, Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers!  He played pro ball from 1989 to 1999.  I do remember seeing him pitch on tv a couple of times, and he was really good!  So there!  One hand, and he struck guys out!  HA, that's what I want to see!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Drive anything as a Senator

     I grew up in Idaho.  I spent most of my youth there, and listen to someone close to me always tell me how wonderful and "crime free" it is.  Well, an Idaho Senator decided to change that!  If you're a Senator, you can do anything, right?  People in government are immune from laws, right?  Oops, wrong.


     This is Idaho Republican Senator John McGee.  Now usually I let my friend Marc complain in his blog "Political Spaghetti" about all the political stuff, but having grown up in Idaho, I think I deserve to delve into this little adventure.  Yes, that's a mug shot of Senator "Drive Anything."  He decided to get drunk in Boise, Idaho, wander down a street and then steal someone's truck.  Well, not just their truck, it also had a trailer attached to it!  So he stole a truck and trailer!  By the way, he didn't have to work too hard to steal it because the keys were left in the ignition.  You can do that and no one will steal your truck and trailer as long as it's parked in your driveway...well, unless a drunken Idaho Senator comes along, that is.


     Here's the truck and trailer he stole.  He jack knifed it in someone else's driveway, wandered back and forth in front of it, and then climbed back behind the wheel and fell asleep.  Two amused kids in the house belonging to the driveway called the police.  When the police arrived, he said he was headed for Jackpot, Nevada.  I guess Idaho wasn't good enough for him to drive around, no slot machines.  Obviously he didn't make it to Nevada here, and I can't say I'm disappointed.  We have enough of our own problems here, Idaho needs to keep their thieving Senators in their own state!  His breathalyzer test showed he was .15, nearly twice Idaho's legal limit!  Hooray, he hit the intoxication jackpot!  (But never actually made it to Jackpot...got to be clear on that!)

     Here's a bit of an article that was written about this, and my commentary on it.  My commentary is in red.  And while I'd like to give credit to the author, I couldn't find a by line.  Online stuff, you know.  Anyway, believe it or not, it's a British news article, i think!


Fellow Idaho Republican Senator Brent Hill expressed support for Mr McGee and said the immediate concern is for his colleague and his family.

But no concern for the people who had their truck stolen, or the kids who could have been killed if Senator "Take what I want" would have crashed the truck into the house instead of jack knifing it in the drive way.

Mr Hill told the Associated Press: 'We feel really bad about the situation and how it may affect his wife and family.

But not how it may affect the people who's truck was stolen?  I think both Hill and McGee lost votes here.

'Our concerns right now are to help him and his family out any way we can.

But not help the people who's truck was stolen.  How touching.

'We just want to make sure things work out for John and his family.'

In other words, they want him to get off scott free after committing a major felony.

Messages left at the McGee family home were not returned Sunday.

The article said because of the nature of the charges, he would remain in jail until Monday when he sees a judge.  So who did they think would return the messages from his house, his wife?  Did they expect to hear her say "He did what?"  What the hell?

Read more: 
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005672/Senator-John-McGee-facing-drunken-driving-grand-theft-charges.html#ixzz1PosxNjcj

Friday, June 17, 2011

In Wonderland

     I've said for a long time that Las Vegas is like living in Wonderland to me.  Well now the whole world seems to be becoming Wonderland.  Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you people?  I drive down the road and some idiot has to race by me, cut me off and jam on his breaks so he can turn right!  He HAD to be in front of me before he turned!  I just can't understand someone who almost causes a car accident just so he can turn in front of someone else.  And this is nothing.  This is just the beginning...

     Now way back when I was a kid, you would always hear about the rare boys and girls who would go out behind the barn, or school, or whatever and show each other their privates.  WOW, what a thrill!  Now, we don't bother with that, we have technology!  Now we just text a picture of our privates to someone else.  Or better yet, you use a social thing like Twitter to tweet your privates out there!  This is...what can I even say about this?  And NOW, we have a guy in the government doing it!  AND HIS NAME IS WEINER!  A MAN NAMED WEINER TWEETED A PICTURE OF HIS WEINER!  Call the Mad Hatter and the March Hare and let's set up a fucking tea party!  (Sorry about the profanity, but I got a little excited there.)


     I'm not sure if this is an actual picture of the guy, but it looks like him to me.  And then he says he had some kind of "sex addiction."  Ok, I'm an alcoholic, and I can understand addictions, but how does a sex addiction get you to tweet your wiener?  Ok, wait...I think I did find a picture of him...


     How did he get elected with a neck like that?  Oh well, Washington DC elected a crackhead for mayor a few times.  And it was well known he was a crackhead, but I guess it's ok if people know you're a sex addict, or crackhead, or whore, or whatever, right?

     Weiner resigned, I guess.  I think someone named "Testicles" is taking his place.  Let's hope he doesn't like to tweet!  And while I'm on the subject, why is this crap only coming from the males?  Wouldn't it be fun for Sarah Palin to go off the deep end and tweet out a shot of her boobs?  She can have a pic taken next to her daughter, and they can both maybe show off their boobs and then say the tweet is for planned parenthood, or something!  Somebody call her, let's see em!

     Since we had a Congressman "Weiner" I think I should probably check the rest of the congressional rolls.  We might have a Congresswoman "Ta ta's"  or maybe a Congresswoman "Twat?"  Who knows?  Ok, I'm a bit lazy in that area and won't be checking any rolls, let alone the congress one.  I'll just keep checking my twitter account, though.