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Monday, June 1, 2015

Chinstrap vs The Hard Rock Hotel

I haven’t seen one of my best friends for months.  When I write about him, I call him Chinstrap.  I’ve taken a trip to Disneyland with him and driven from Las Vegas to Laughlin for an overnight trip with him, and he never fails to amuse me.  He always ends up making a trip into a major adventure.

The last time I had seen Chinstrap we were both unemployed and rapidly going broke.  I did end up getting a new job and as for Chinstrap, well he found an original way to make a few bucks.  I went back to work for a casino, Chinstrap went to work for a strip joint, or “Adult Entertainment” as he called it.

While finally finding time to get together and visiting with my friend this last week, he told me a story about his job that had me laughing almost to tears.  I thought I would share that here in my blog.

One of Chinstrap’s duties for this “Adult club” is promotion.  He thinks of ways to bring in new patrons to the strip joint.  One way he does this is to load up a few women into the back of his pickup truck and drive around town very slowly so the women (who are wearing almost nothing) can hand out business cards to people on the street.  Believe it or not, he gets a lot of attention doing this.  Obviously men love to see scantily clad women in the back of a truck trying to hand things out.

And so one night after loading up three women Chinstrap called “Bambi”, “Bubbles”, and “TaTas” into the back of his truck and driving around, Chinstrap came up with an idea. Obviously these aren’t the women’s real names.  Chinstrap said they were “Dancer nicknames” except for “TaTas”. He couldn’t remember that girl’s name and she was pretty well endowed in the chest area, so he just referred to her as TaTas.  *chuckle*

Anyway, on to Chinstrap’s great idea!  He decided that since the Hard Rock Hotel here in fabulous Las Vegas was having some kind of convention or something going on, he could maybe parade his scantily clad women through the casino to hand out the business cards.  He would get a lot of attention that way!  That is true, but you have to understand casinos don’t like this kind of thing.  That would be like walking into a bakery and trying to hand out business cards for your fruit shop.  It’s a bad idea.  *chuckle*  Chinstrap has worked in casino security with me and knows this is a bad idea.  He doesn’t care, it will get him attention.  And so off he goes to the Hard Rock Hotel.

He parks his truck in the parking garage and marches his scantily clad women into the casino.  As soon as they enter, TaTas and the other girls are dancing around and handing out cards and they’re getting major attention from everyone there, just like Chinstrap wanted.  And of course, security also noticed them right away.  Chinstrap sees a man in a suit approaching him and knows it’s probably one of the security managers.  As the manager confronts him, Chinstrap hands him a business card and their conversation goes something like this:

Man in suit:  You can’t hand these cards out in here!

Chinstrap:  Yes I can.  I’m obviously doing it.

Man in suit:  Do you have a driver’s license?

Chinstrap:  Yes.

Man in suit:  Can I see it?

Chinstrap:  Why?  I’m not driving.

Chinstrap knows the man in the suit wants to see his ID so that he can trespass him from the property.  As their conversation goes on, Chinstrap gets louder and louder drawing more attention from the people around them.  That’s just what he wants!  That’s not what the security people want.  *chuckle*  By now a few security officers have shown up and stop the girls from dancing around and handing out the business cards.  TaTas is extremely upset about this!  While he is talking to the man in the suit, Chinstrap begins to notice that TaTas is now taunting the security guards around them.

“Hey, I know you want this!” (Tatas slaps her own behind and then begins to jiggle her ample chest at the security people.)  “Why don’t you just come to the club and pay for some?”

Chinstrap begins to realize that he’s getting a lot of attention, but it’s probably time to leave before security calls the police and he ends up in jail.  He tells the man in the suit that he will leave and take the girls with him.  They begin to head for the exit, but TaTas doesn’t want to leave!  She begins yelling and screaming and calling the security people names.  She says all kinds of inappropriate things!  Chinstrap grabs her by the arm and tries to hustle her to the exit before one of the over anxious security people pulls out handcuffs and tries to cuff her.  Finally she begins to walk on her own without prodding, but asks for the rest of the business cards Chinstrap has.  He thinks he’s helping things by giving her his remaining cards.  TaTas then gets the business cards the other two women had left. 

Now I can almost see this coming.  It’s almost always going to be a bad idea to give an upset woman something to throw.  Chinstrap obviously didn’t think about this at the time.  *chuckle*  And yes, as you might have guessed, TaTas waited until they got to the elevator leading to the parking garage area and then flung the business cards everywhere.  Some of the cards went down the elevator shaft, some into a couple elevators that had their doors open.  The elevator lobby is now littered with hundreds of business cards for this “Adult entertainment” place.  I’m certain security was not happy with this outcome.  Luckily though, Chinstrap made it back to his truck with the girls, loaded them up and drove away from the Hard Rock Hotel.  Just another day, and just another adventure.

His day ended with Chinstrap trying to explain to the three women why they had been thrown out of the Hotel.  They obviously couldn’t seem to understand what they had done wrong.  *chuckle*  And I’m certain one of these days Chinstrap will try making his way into another casino.  Maybe one of these times he’ll invite me along and I’ll try to take some video and pictures.  Hopefully I won’t end up trespassed from somewhere myself.  *chuckle*  But if that happens, it happens.  It will probably be well worth the adventure.