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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Idiot's Finger

The Dumbest News of All
There are a lot of dumb things that go on in the world, but what I’m about to write about is one of the dumbest pieces of news I’ve seen in my lifetime.  First, let me spout off a bit of personal commentary about gun safety:

During my time in the military and even some time in the civilian world I made it my business to learn about guns.  Not because I really like them (We all like gun when we’re young, they’re loud, violent and exciting), but because they’re dangerous.  And if you have at least some knowledge about something dangerous, you can keep yourself a lot safer around it.  Anyway, it’s not very difficult to tell if a weapon is loaded.  You simply open the firing chamber and look inside.  I know that sounds complicated, but it isn’t.  If you own a gun, you should know how to do this.  People that claim they were cleaning their weapons and end up shooting themselves are morons.  Saying “I didn’t know it was loaded” shows that you aren’t responsible to have a weapon in my opinion. Not checking to see if a weapon has a bullet in the chamber before “cleaning” it is irresponsible.

Now that I’ve said my piece, let’s move on to baseball.  What do guns have to do with baseball?  Well let me tell you about an idiot named Jose Canseco.  He was a baseball player years ago. He hit a lot of homeruns, but was also probably using a bunch of “ability enhancing drugs”.  That means he was probably full of steroids, but let’s forget that for a second. 

Jose made millions playing baseball and eventually wrote a book called Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big.

Think Jose was into some “juicing” now?  Anyway, that’s not the major reason I’m writing about him being stupid.  Let’s move on from baseball and book writing to today.  A short while ago Jose was cleaning (ie: playing with) a gun.  The gun went off and blew his middle finger off his hand.  Jose said he didn’t know the gun was loaded.  See my paragraph above about how to check if a weapon is loaded.  Here’s the fabulous news story:

At least alcohol wasn’t involved.  So now we know that Jose is that stupid sober.  And his lovely girlfriend would like you to pray for Jose’s finger.  But this STILL isn’t why I’m writing about how dumb this guy is!  The story goes on from here!  How is stuff like this news?  Probably because people like me can’t resist writing about things that are this dumb.

So Jose’s finger has been shot off and then reattached.  Any normal person would try to learn a lesson from the incident and give their finger time to heal.  Did Jose do this?  HELL NO!

I guess Jose was proud about all of this and was tweeting all about his finger.  He even posted a photo of the bloody, blown off appendage to his twitter feed, but after realized how gruesome that was, took the photo down a few hours later.  I’m sorry I missed seeing that.  (Actually, I’m not sorry to have missed seeing the finger and I could care less about Jose’s twitter feed.)  It’s nice that he could take the time to get a photo of his blown off finger before seeing a doctor.

Anyway, Jose decided to play poker a bit after that and his finger “fell off” again.  Maybe it was too embarrassed to be attached to this moron anymore?  And again after his incessant tweeting he made the news again.  This time because he began boasting that he will sell the finger on ebay.

My God, really?  He honestly thinks someone will want to buy a detached finger?  Just a side note here, ebay will not allow body parts to be sold on their auctions.  I do think he should get rid of the gun.  Or who knows, maybe we’ll see nine more of these news stories?  He got himself some media attention with this stunt, so why not shoot off the other nine fingers? 

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Guest post by my friend Karenna Colcroft!

Today my crazy Vegas blog will be guest hosted by my good friend Karenna Colcroft as she showcases her upcoming new book release!  Enjoy this post and go out and buy her book!  Help support a wonderful author!

When you’re married to someone, you probably think you know them very well. You’ve been through the whole dating thing, and now you’re sharing a life, so what could they possibly say or do that would surprise you?
But no matter how well we know someone, they can still surprise us. A gift, a suggestion of a date or activity, or trying something new in bed—or out of it—can be completely unexpected. And sometimes when we think we know our partner as well as we possibly could, it’s good to have things shaken up a little.
In my novella Knot Intended, Nolie and Joseph consider each other soulmates, and Nolie believes she knows all there is to know about her mild-mannered husband. But when he suggests sexual roleplaying to address some staleness in their marriage, Nolie is completely taken off-guard. And the lengths Joseph goes to in order to fulfill Nolie’s fantasy are far beyond anything she would have guessed he’d be willing to do.
Being married does mean knowing a lot about each other, but sometimes it’s good to surprise your partner. It might make things better than you could imagine.
Knot Intended releases November 18 from Loose Id, Here’s the blurb and a short excerpt:

Nolie and Joseph have a good marriage. They're still in love, have everything they need, and their careers are in good shape. But lately their sex life and time together has taken a back seat. One morning, Joseph brings up the changes in their sex life and expresses a desire to spice things up. With his encouragement, Nolie confesses her darkest fantasy: Being kidnapped, bound, and "forced" to have sex with her "captor."
She assumes Joseph will forget the fantasy or decide it's better off left as something to talk about, but a week later, Joseph brings Nolie's fantasy into reality. Nolie is not only excited about the role play, but Joseph's willingness to fulfill her fantasy reminds her of how much they love each other and how much priority they need to put on their marriage.
Nolie wet her lips again.
Joseph stepped back. “Thirsty?”
“Yes.” She looked at him, pleading. “I really need water. I’m feeling lightheaded.”
“You’re just a scared little whore.” He set the belt on the bed, went to the minifridge beneath the TV, and took out two bottles of water. “You’re lucky I’m thirsty too. Otherwise I wouldn’t give a shit what you thought.”
Nolie knew better. No matter how deeply into character Joseph was, he wouldn’t let her faint from dehydration. She decided she was better off not arguing with him, though.
He opened one of the bottles and held it to her lips far more gently than she would have expected. As he tipped the bottle, she drank nearly half the contents before she leaned back to let Joseph know she was finished.
He drained the rest of the bottle, then tossed it toward the trash, setting the remaining bottle on the bureau. “Back to fun now,” he said. He picked up the belt again and ran the buckle down each of Nolie’s arms.
She shivered at the light, tickling touch.
“Sexy bitch,” Joseph murmured. “Nice toned arms. I wonder what you’d do if I smacked them.” He tapped the belt on her left bicep.
“I’m not into pain,” Nolie said.
“I didn’t give you the choice, did I?” He raised the belt and brought it down but stopped before it touched her skin. “You’d best remember who’s in charge here, got it?”
“Got it.” Adrenaline coursed through Nolie’s veins, and she breathed deeply, trying to slow her racing heart. For a moment she’d believed Joseph really would hit her. She still wasn’t entirely convinced he wouldn’t.

Karenna Colcroft’s website:

Friday, November 7, 2014

Understanding Women


Are you ready for an analogy?  Men are like rocks and women are like internal combustion engines.  There are many different kinds of men, but we’re basically the same.  We’re usually simple.  There are all kinds of women too, and most of them are extremely complicated and made up of thousands of parts.  Does this sound right?  Well it is.

I’ve made mistakes with women, and had a few victories with them, but I will in no way claim to be an expert in how the female mind works.  I’ve made one girl so angry that she canceled a date we had arranged and refused to go out with me.  I’ve also bought a different girl a gold bracelet for her birthday and watched as she lit up with happiness.  I’ve gotten dirty looks and smiles, been given kind words and swore at, and have seen quite a few sides of quite a few women.  So let’s go over things that I’ve surmised over the years about how a woman’s mind works.

Here’s a nice example:  Two people work in the same office, Tom and Jannis.  They walk into the office in the morning ready to start work.  Tom looks at Jannis and says:

“Good morning Jannis, nice boots!  I really like those!”

Jannis smiles and replies:

“Thank you very much Tom, they’re new.”

Both Tom and Jannis go to their work desks to start their work day and here is what starts going through Jannis’ mind:

He said he liked the boots.  Did he look at the rest of me?  Should I have said more back to him?  I’ll bet he didn’t even look at my hair!  I spent all morning fussing with this hair and he can’t even look at it.  Did he mention the new blouse?  Of course not, he was just looking at the boots.  Why would he bother to look at my blouse when he didn’t even look at my hair?  Was he waiting for me to say more?  Does Tom like me?  Do I like Tom?  I don’t know if I like Tom.  Tom is always nice when I see him.  I wish he would have said something about my blouse, but then why would he?  He doesn’t look at my chest.  He’s always too busy staring at that whore Kim’s chest!  All the men stare at her chest and she’s always throwing those tits out so everyone can see them!  Is she after Tom?  Probably, she seems to be after every other man she sees.  What a bitch, I really hate her!

I’ve been told things like this will go through a woman’s mind in just a few seconds.  So how did she go from “nice boots” to “Kim is a whore”?  What the hell?  If you want to look at it from Tom’s side, more than likely he was thinking:

Wow, she has on nice boots.  I wonder if the coffee has been made yet?

He’s not wondering if Jannis likes him, he wants some coffee.  Does he look at Kim’s cleavage?  Of course he does!  We all look at cleavage, ladies!  You know that and we know that!  It’s a fact of life!  We like cleavage.  But after telling Jannis she had on nice boots, Tom moves on with his day.  We do that, men say something and then move on.  Women will sit for hours trying to analyze what men mean about one sentence.  Usually we just mean we liked the boots.  *chuckle*

Here’s another example;  Tom and Jannis start going out together.  Tom tells Jannis that he’s going to help a friend work on a car and will come over to see her around noon.  Jannis waits and waits, but there is no sign of Tom.  She calls his cell phone a few times, but there’s no answer.  Here we go in jannis’ head again:

Oh my God, I hope nothing’s happened to him.  Should I call the police?  He wouldn’t do something stupid and get arrested, would he?  No he wouldn’t.  Maybe he’s in the hospital.  Or maybe he got hurt working on the car and no one was there to help him?  Maybe both he and his friend got hurt?  Who did he say he was with?  I don’t remember his friend’s name!  Did Tom even tell me his friend’s name?  Oh my God, what do I do if something’s really happened?  Why won’t he call me!  Or at least answer his phone when I call him!  What is wrong with him!  Maybe he went to a bar.  Did he meet some floozy and is spending time with her instead of coming to see me?  Why would he do that?  If he’s not hurt, I’m going to hurt him myself!

Tom finally shows up at Jannis’ house at three o’clock.  By now she’s furious.  She yells “WHERE WERE YOU?  I WAS WORRIED SICK!” at him.  Tom has no idea why she’s so angry.  He tries to explain that he was working on a car with his friend like he told her he was going to be doing.  She says that he was supposed to show up at her house at noon, not whenever the hell he feels like it!  Tom is still clueless.  So he’s a bit late.  He got carried away with the car and forgot the time.  He can’t understand why she’s so upset.  And then here comes the complicated part.  Jannis looks at Tom and says the “F" word:

FINE, you just spend all the time you want with your stupid friends!

Fine is never a good word to hear from a woman.  I would rather have a woman call me all kinds of profanity than hear her say the word fine.  Fine to a man means you’re ok.  Fine from a woman means the world is ON FIRE!  Win her or loser her right here, boys.

So now Tom tries to make things better by apologizing.  He says he’s sorry and it won’t ever happen again.  He’ll make sure he calls her next time.  Meanwhile Jannis is sitting on the couch with her arms crossed.  A woman with her arms crossed is usually a bad sign, too.  She looks away from Tom and says that horrible word again;


Tom gives Jannis a curious look and asks, “So, we’re good then?”  Jannis continues to stare off into space refusing to look at Tom and says;

Absolutely, we’re fine.

Tom is in deep shit.  Now a small part of the male brain is sending out alarm signals telling Tom that thing are not right.  Jannis keeps saying the “F” word, but she doesn’t seem like she’s “fine” at all.  Tom was just a few hours late.  This doesn’t make any sense to him.  Now Tom stands there for a few seconds like a deer caught in some headlights.  (If you aren’t familiar with what that means, it means he just stands there not knowing what to do next.)  He’s absolutely stunned and doesn’t know what to do.  If a man is late to his buddy’s house, the buddy usually won’t care.  Hell, if we’re going out, sometimes we’ll even leave the late guy behind!  Then when we see him the next day we tell him how great a time we had without him!  But we don’t get mad usually.  Shit happens and men move on.  Women don’t move on.

They may say they’ll move on, but they don’t.  Even if Tom sits down and talks to Jannis and gets her to forgive him for being late, years later she’s going to bring up the fact that he was three hours late that day and throw it right back in his face.  Oh yes, women will keep things in the back of their minds for years, decades even! 

Damn you Ernie!  Don’t think I’ve forgotten that day in 1901 when you fed my horse beans and she couldn’t stop farting!  You’re a rotten old bastard!

I don’t mean to pick on all the bad things women do.  But these are just some of the complicated parts of them.  If you see me and say “Damn Robert, your hair is really thinning out on top!”  I’m not going to be offended.  My hair is thinning.  I’m not happy about that, but it’s a fact of life.  I’ll agree with you and move on with my day.  If you look at a girl and say to her, “Wow, what happened to your hair?” you’ve just ruined her entire day.  Maybe even her week.  Or month.  Or as I said above, she may remember you said that for decades.  She may pretend to shrug off the remark, but I guarantee you most women will find a mirror somewhere and look at themselves to try and figure out what is wrong with their hair.  There’s really nothing wrong with it, but they can’t believe that.  Some idiot said there was and now they have to figure out what it is.

I’ve had women tell me “Thank you” and give me a kiss on the cheek.  What the hell did I do to earn that?  Only they know.  If I try asking, “What was that for? I get some cryptic answer like “Just for being you” or “It doesn’t matter”.  And to further complicate things, I’m sure there are other women who see that and then start thinking things like,

Oh my God, look at that hussy!  She just kissed him!  Does he like her?  Are they going out?  Should I go kiss him?  I wonder what he would do if I did?  Do I want to kiss him?  I don’t know.  What would she do if I kissed him?  Are they together?  I didn’t think they were, but now I’m not sure.  Should I ask? 

And there’s another complicated thing about women.  Whether they admit it or not, they get jealous.  I can understand if a woman is going out with a guy and sees another woman flirting with him.  That’s easy to get upset about.  But if you have a guy who is just a male friend and a girl talks to him, sometimes women will get upset over that!  I’ve had female friends say things to me like,

You don’t really like her, do you?  She’s not your type.  You might want to think twice before you hang around with her again.  She’s just not right for you.  You deserve better.

What the hell is with all the judgment?  Maybe I DO want a date with Kim (with the huge cleavage)!  Maybe she is my type!  Is my friend being protective, or jealous?  Sometimes it’s hard to say.  I’ll be honest with you and say that when I’ve had single female friends and see them talking to guys I get jealous.  I’ll usually keep my mouth shut, but I will admit to being jealous.  Women play that kind of thing off, though.

No I’m not jealous!  Fine, go out with her!  See if I care!

Alarms going off in my head again.  She said the “F” word!  And what does it mean when she says, “See if I care”?  She obviously cares, or she wouldn’t have said anything.  And what’s with the “fine” remark?  This is now getting overly complicated!  Some girls want to be friends and stay platonic, but if you try to go out with another girl, they get all bent out of shape!  I find myself in trouble just for talking to another girl!  *chuckle* 

I have a lot of female friends in my life now through Facebook.  I probably won’t understand them as much as I’d like, but I do love them all.  So if I’m ever stupid, or make mistakes, forgive me.  And please don’t use the “F” word with me if you can help it.  I don’t like the alarm bells in my head when I don’t know how to shut them off.  *chuckle*

Until tomorrow…Aloha.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

What happened to Werewolves?

What happened to werewolves?  I’ve always liked werewolves, but our idea of them has changed so much since I was a kid.  The werewolf started out in 1941 in a really old movie called The Wolf Man.  I’ve never seen the film myself, but it stared Lon Chaney Jr. as the Wolf Man.  There were no packs in this and the whole thing was about a curse I think.

Move forward a bit and the myth of lycanthropy becomes more portrayed in movies and books.  In 1981 I went to the movies to see a flick called The Howling.  This werewolf movie had a sort of pack of werewolves.  Bear with me, it’s been a loooooong time since I’ve seen this movie.  I do remember I loved it.  The werewolves weren’t good guys, even though they ran in a sort of pack, they were still killing machines.  None of them were nice, or protective, or social.  They killed, and that was that.

In 1981 one of my all time favorite movies also had a werewolf in it, An American Werewolf in London.  Again, the werewolf wasn't social, or protective, it killed everyone it could.  The human character becomes quite disturbed when he finally realizes the truth that it's him going on a killing spree during the full moon.  This movie has one of the all time best scenes of changing into a werewolf ever made!

I know this video isn't the highest definition, but movies weren't made in high def back then.  Imagine if they re-made this move today!  I'm not a fan of remakes, and if this movie was remade I would probably be upset and certain it would never be as good as the original, but they could do all kinds of effects for the werewolf with video tricks now a days!  If you like werewolves and haven't seen this movie, find it NOW!  The music is fantastic, too!

Want a quick video that shows basically what the movie is about?  Beware, there are parts of this clip that are a bit graphic.  Note the part with the English policeman in the theater, you only see the werewolf for a few seconds, but it’s actually pretty frightening!

Whenever I think of a werewolf, that's what I think of.  This version is so popular, that in 2013 the Universal Orlando theme park had an American Werewolf in London themed haunted house!  I really wish I could have walked through that one.  I know it more than likely would have scared the socks off of me, but I would have loved it anyway!  (I think my niece needs to come with me into any haunted house I enter.  *chuckle*)

I have a bluray of An American Werewolf in London and one of my favorite stories from the extra features is about when the two Americans are first attacked by the werewolf.  You see the one kid on the ground as the werewolf attacks him and it really looks violent.  The story goes that the wolf head was a huge puppet and when the director said “action”, instead of letting the actor pretend he was being attacked, the puppeteer just beat the hell out of the actor with the puppet.  The director loved it and so when you see that scene, the guy is really trying to defend himself while this wolf head is smacking and biting him!  *chuckle*

But on to what’s happened to werewolves.  I have a few friends who have written about them, but they seem to see werewolves in a different light than I do.  They see them as pack friendly and sometimes even as heroes.  I’m not sure if my friends would like me putting their books on here when I’m going on and on about how werewolves should be monsters and not puppies, so I won’t mention any names.  But honestly, what happened to stories about the maniac creature who kills every time the moon is full?  Stephen King wrote about a werewolf, believe it or not.  His story was made into a low budget flick called Silver Bullet, but it had a great story!  Stephen King always has such good characters in his stories.  Here’s a trailer of that one:

A lot of the movie (and story) is about trying to figure out who the werewolf really is.  When you finally find out who it is, it's quite a revelation!  Someone you might not expect to be a ravenous killing machine.  *chuckle*  But again, the werewolf doesn't have a pack and just kills everyone it can.

I won’t even go into the movies and books from Twilight and the Underworld series because I haven’t watched them.  I refuse to watch any of the Twilight movies on general principle.  I can ask my niece about them, she’s read the books and seen the movies.  But then I think that’s more of a teenage girl thing.  And again, in these movies even though some of the werewolves may be bad guys, they still run in packs. 

I wonder where people got this kind of thing from.  Since when would something that is considered a curse or disease lead you to being part of a pack?  It’s not like leprosy where you’re just trying not to infect other people.  In most of the werewolf stuff I like, the character who is the werewolf is in denial at first and refuses to believe that he transforms.  By the time they realize what they’ve become, someone ends up killing them. 

Ok, enough ranting about werewolves for today.  Go and watch a good werewolf movie.  I know my niece won’t watch An American Werewolf in London with me.  I’ve asked her and she’s never shy about telling me no.  That’s not her kind of stuff, but then since I won’t watch Twilight with her, she’s within her right not to want to watch a movie about an insane killing lycanthrope with me.  *chuckle*

Until tomorrow…Ciao.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

Starbuck's, Caffeine, and Chocolate

Yes, today I’m going to write about Starbuck’s.  I’m stunned by this place.  Or should I say these places.  They’re everywhere.  I don’t think you can walk two blocks in any city without seeing a Starbuck’s.  Now I’m not knocking the place, because I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything from there.  But it just kills me that a place as expensive as this one is has become this popular!

If you go to a Starbuck’s on any morning, you’ll usually find a line of people.  And they’re there to pay about $8 for a cup of coffee.  But it goes beyond coffee.  Oh yes, the “Yuppies” love Starbuck’s and if you wait in line you’ll hear people ordering their favorite Cappo-half-caff-mocha-crème-dutch-chocolate-large or something like that.  It’s like some kind of modern day code that only these people understand.  And they pay through the ass for whatever they’re ordering. 

“Ok sir, you’ve ordered a Double chocolate chip crème Frappuccino.  What size would you like that to be?”

(By the way, that’s a real drink.  I stole the words right off the online menu!)

What size?  The title of this drink nearly gives me diabetes!  Is there a coffee size?  Believe it or not, the sizes they have listed are “Tall, Grande, and Venti Ice”.  What the hell measurement is “Venti Ice”?  It says 24oz next to it, but maybe a Venti Ice measurement to me is 28oz.  Beyond that, who needs 24oz of chocolate, crème, and caffeine all at one time?  The people drinking these are the ones running around offices screaming at the top of their lungs and gurgling out words that make no sense!

“Uh…Mr. Smith, what was the address for the Clark account?”

“GAAAAAGggogglaadjmoouuouie!  Frappuccino!”

You can’t tell me this drink is safe or good for human consumption.  And you’re not only putting all of this stuff into your body, you’re paying through the ass to do it!

Starbuck’s has a “Kid’s drinks” menu.  I clicked on that and found “Freshly Brewed Coffee”.  So before dropping your kindergartener off at school in the mornings, hit Starbuck’s and get him a nice steaming cup of Joe! 

Ok yes, being realistic a kindergartener isn’t going to like, or drink coffee.  But I’ll bet you they’ll drink a Double chocolate chip crème Frappuccino!  Make sure there’s extra caffeine, too!  REALLY jack the kid up before dropping him or her off at school!  If there’s one thing teachers love, it’s a caffeinated six year old!

(Ok, for the record, teachers do not like caffeinated and jacked up children and I’m not actually telling you to get a child all sugared and caffeinated up before sending him to torture a poor teacher!  I’m sure parents wouldn’t like it much if a teacher passed out these drinks before sending the children home after school.  HAHAHAHAHAHA, as if a teacher could afford anything at a Starbuck’s on their salary, let alone buy stuff for a whole class!  They’d probably rather buy a car, or boat, or something like that!)

Starbuck’s also sells some food.  How about some Classic Whole-Grain Oatmeal?  It’s has “rolled and steel-cut oats” among other things.  I thought you fed oats to horses and cows and livestock like that.  I HATE oatmeal and don’t think I want to be eating oats, either!  YUCK!  I won’t even try that with my Chocolate chip caffeine Frappuccino thing. (That drink is actually starting to sound pretty good.  I do like chocolate…)

Starbuck’s is getting a lot of attention today because they’re rolling out a new drink.  I have no idea what the new drink is because I didn’t pay that much attention to what the lady on the radio was saying, but it’s some kind of new thing that everyone will now have to have.  If you go to order whatever this is, make sure you get Venti Ice size.  It’ll probably be about $15, but what the hell, right? 

Thinking back, I actually have bought something at a Starbuck’s before.  It wasn’t a drink though, I bought a $10 gift card and offered it up as a prize along with one of my books for someone commenting on some post or something I did on Facebook.  I put the nice little gift card inside the book as a bookmark.  A LOT of people commented if I remember right.  Sadly, I think they were all looking forward to the gift card more than they were looking forward to reading my book!  Wow, authors will sink pretty low to get one of their books out there!  *chuckle*

I do think I’m going to have to try one of the chocolate chip Frappuccino things.  I don’t want to go alone, though.  I’ll have to grab my niece and take her along with me.  I know she does occasionally read my blogs and will see this so I’m sure she’ll remind me.  *chuckle*

Ok, time to end this while I take time to converse with my niece and find out how much trouble I’m in for mentioning her in my blog.  *chuckle*  Actually…if you go to this link you can read a blog where I interviewed her!

That blog post actually has 369 views!  *chuckle*  I guess people want to know about Tiffany!  I’ll have to see if she’ll agree to do another interview with me since the last interview was when she was still in high school, I think.  Now that she’s a college woman I think we should find out all about how things are in college today and exactly what her thoughts on Starbucks are!  Until tomorrow, toodles.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014


Women I Love to Love
Today I think I’m going to write about girlfriends.  And I don’t mean the girls you take to the movies, and to dinner, and then try to sneak a kiss with in the park later.  I’m talking about women who are friends. 

I had a few girlfriends growing up.  I would always laugh when a lot of these girls would tell me that they don’t have many, if any at all, girlfriends themselves.  I was always told this was because women are catty and jealous of each other and they always create too much drama.  I would have to agree with this statement a lot of the time.  Males don’t create as much drama.  There are always the exceptions to this, take the guy off in a corner crying because someone didn’t like his new hat.  Yes, those guys are out there too, and no I never had any male friends like that.

But getting back to women, the world wide web has changed a lot of things including how many female friends I now have.  I have quite a few that I’ve never even met in person.  I have met quite a few women through Facebook.  They’re friends and live all over the world.  I have some girlfriends in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, I think one even lives in France somewhere.  I love seeing pictures they post, and making fun comments when they post something.  And for the most part, these women understand that I can be sarcastic and silly and accept me for what I am. 

Some of these women are married, some have kids, some are even married and have kids! *chuckle*  Anyway, the point of all of this is that they are friends.  I didn’t make friends with them because I thought I might get lucky.  I never expect anything from any of them.  We’re just friends.  So why am I writing about this?

Because some guys don’t seem to think this way.  I’ve lost track of how many times I see one of my female friends posting on Facebook that they ARE NOT AVAILABLE AND THEY DO NOT WISH TO RECEIVE PHOTOS OF MALE PRIVATE PARTS!  … … … I sit here thinking to myself “What the hell is this?”  Really?  Some idiots are sending photos of their private parts to my friends?  Who the hell does this?  And more importantly, WHY would anyone do this?  Are they thinking that once these women see their equipment they’ll do anything?  What the hell is wrong with the world?

Some don’t get pictures, but instead get messages that say things like “I think you’re my soulmate” or “you’re so beautiful, I need to be with you”.  Some of the men sending these kind of messages are hundreds, even thousands of miles away from the women they’re sending them to!  What do they honestly think they are going to get for a response?  “Oh yeah baby, I love the pictures of your hairy ass, I want to be yours now!”

One friend solved this very nicely.  She took a photo of her husband’s junk and sent that back to the guy.  He was smart enough to leave her alone after that.  I’m not sure how to handle messages from idiots like these guys other than to laugh about it and block them, but women aren’t like that.  They aren’t wired that way usually.  Things like this really upset them and when a friend of mine is upset, I’m upset!  This sucks!

Moving onward, some girlfriends I’ve had have just disappeared.  That’s quite a trick considering they’ve had a large internet presence.  How do you just up and go away?  I love the internet and would really miss it!  I wouldn’t even begin to know how to wean myself off this magical thing!  Without giving away names, I met one girl online and was stupid enough to travel hundreds of miles away to move in with her in Minnesota.  Things didn’t work out and within 6 months I was back in Las Vegas.  She had always been online.  Now I can’t find a trace of her.  Maybe she’s dead?  That wouldn’t surprise me at all.  I haven’t seen her in 10 years and it is entirely possible that she either died, or ended up in prison.  Yup, she wasn’t the smartest person and may be in prison. *chuckle*

Another one became quite a surprise.  The first one, the possible prison woman, I had met and left probably over fifteen years ago so the internet really wasn’t the size it is now.  Facebook wasn’t even around.  I met her through MySpace if you can believe that!  Moving on I had another friend just about two years ago.  She was another author and lived on the other side of the country.  Eventually we began talking over the phone, texting, and emailing each other all the time.  I thought we were pretty tight.  She decided she was going to marry another guy and one day I receive a message saying not to text or email her anymore.  So I stopped.  And then she just dropped off the internet.

Now this wasn’t instantaneous.  She disappeared over the course of months, but she just went bye, bye.  I finally figured out that she’s still around, she didn’t disappear, she changed her name.  At least her last name.  She had written a number of books and they’re gone now, too.  That’s a long story that I won’t go into, but how do you just turn your back on friends? 

A few of you who read this might know who I’m talking about.  If you do, don’t mention her name.  If someone wants to leave my life, they’re more than welcome.  It’s just so surprising to me when I get treated like one of those guys who sends out pictures of his junk.  I don’t do that and never treat my girlfriends with anything but respect.  Getting married shouldn’t mean you can’t have me as a friend anymore, especially if you live hundreds of miles away.

Ok, I’ve ranted long enough for this morning.  Disappear if you want to, I’ll find more friends somewhere.  Until tomorrow…Ta!

Monday, November 3, 2014

Petrol Gas

The Price of Gas in China
So, do you own a car?  A lot of people do and that means we all have to buy gasoline, or petrol as my English friends call it.  And how much is petrol, gas, or whatever?  Well, since the huge letters above say China, let’s take a look at China’s gas prices today.  As of right now, the internet tells me gasoline costs ¥7.94 Chinese Yen a liter.  One liter is equal to a quarter of a gallon and in America we buy gas by the gallon.  So basically gasoline in China today costs ¥31.76 Chinese Yen a gallon.  That may sound like a lot, but converting it to American dollars that would be $5.19 a gallon (I bet my math teacher friend is loving all these numbers! *chuckle*)

When I went out to fill my car up with gas for the week a couple days ago, I paid $2.98 American dollars a gallon.  I’ll bet the Chinese are pretty jealous!  What cheap gas we have here in America, right?  Wrong, back in 1989 I remember gas only costing $0.79 a gallon!  The stupid oil companies are just greedy!  Anyway, let’s get back on track.

How about Jolly Old London, England?  How much do you suppose petrol costs there?  Do you think the Chinese will be jealous of English gas prices?  I can already feel my English friends shaking their heads and muttering profanity.  *chuckle*  The internet tells me that as of today the price of petrol in London, England is around £1.33 a liter (Or litre as my English friends would say)  Adding that all together to make a gallon, petrol is £5.32 English pounds a gallon.  Converting that to American dollars, my English friends are paying $8.51 a gallon.


That can’t be right.  It can’t!  Really?  $8.51 a gallon for gas?  Holy shit!  I drive around in a car with a 10 gallon tank and usually gas up when I’m at about a half a tank.  My last trip to the gas station cost me about $13.50 or so!  In England I’d be paying about £26.60!  That’s $42.57 in American dollars!  I can’t afford that every week!  Damn!  On the other hand…

This is a Honda CRX.

These nice, little babies got around 55 miles per gallon of gas!  Great mileage!  They’re gone now.  Well, not exactly gone, but they aren’t made or sold in America anymore.  If you come across one, buy it!  It’s worth its weight in gold now!  At the most, modern cars here in America get around an average of something like 19 miles per gallon. Some get worse.  A great mileage car like a Hyndai ( I drive a Hyndai) get around 35 miles to a gallon or so.  Check out this vehicle:

YEAH!  That's a 2014 Bugatti Veyron Super Sport Performa!  I’ll bet I could really attract a few gorgeous English ladies while driving this, huh?  Fantastic looking car!  It also gets about 10 miles per gallon.  For you English mates keeping up with the math, that’s about 2.5 miles per litre.  Is it worth it to drive that now?  Can you AFFORD to drive this now?  Even if someone gave you this car and said they would pay the insane car insurance for it, I don’t think I’d be able to pay for the petrol to drive around!  What a crock of shit!

But you say you still want a convertible without really shitty gas mileage?  How about this one?

This is a FIAT 500C 0.9 TwinAir Cult 85HP Dualogic.  It gets about 75 miles per gallon!  You may not pick up the self-centered, gold digging, bimbos in this, but you’ll certainly attract all the sensible minded ladies!  *chuckle*  This thing gets about one and a half times the gas mileage the Honda CRX did!  But can you get one of these here in America?  HELL NO!  You can pick one right up in England, though!  At least I think you can, I found this while doing a search for the cars with the best gas mileage in England.  I KNOW you can’t get vehicles with this kind of mileage where I live!  Phooey!

I can get one of these here:

This is a Ford F150 Raptor pick up truck.  It gets about 11 miles to a gallon.  I’ll bet country girls here in America would love me in one of these!  Of course if I really lived in the country I wouldn’t be able to afford one of these because I don’t have enough money to pay for the damned gasoline!  For crying out loud, it probably costs $50 in gas just to drive this monster to the corner post office! 

Now I’ve forgotten what I was even writing about in the first place.  Gas, or petrol, or something.  Chinese cookies, maybe?  I know there was something Chinese in here somewhere.  For now I think I’m going to go off and dream about driving through the English countryside in a Bugatti Veron with the top down.  All my money flying out of the back of the car as I speed down the road.

Stay tuned tomorrow for more senseless stuff.