Starbuck’s
Yes,
today I’m going to write about Starbuck’s.
I’m stunned by this place. Or
should I say these places. They’re
everywhere. I don’t think you can walk
two blocks in any city without seeing a Starbuck’s. Now I’m not knocking the place, because I don’t
think I’ve ever bought anything from there.
But it just kills me that a place as expensive as this one is has become
this popular!
If you
go to a Starbuck’s on any morning, you’ll usually find a line of people. And they’re there to pay about $8 for a cup
of coffee. But it goes beyond
coffee. Oh yes, the “Yuppies” love
Starbuck’s and if you wait in line you’ll hear people ordering their favorite
Cappo-half-caff-mocha-crème-dutch-chocolate-large or something like that. It’s like some kind of modern day code that
only these people understand. And they
pay through the ass for whatever they’re ordering.
“Ok sir, you’ve ordered a
Double chocolate chip crème Frappuccino.
What size would you like that to be?”
(By the
way, that’s a real drink. I stole the
words right off the online menu!)
What
size? The title of this drink nearly
gives me diabetes! Is there a coffee
size? Believe it or not, the sizes they
have listed are “Tall, Grande, and Venti Ice”.
What the hell measurement is “Venti Ice”? It says 24oz next to it, but maybe a Venti
Ice measurement to me is 28oz. Beyond
that, who needs 24oz of chocolate, crème, and caffeine all at one time? The people drinking these are the ones
running around offices screaming at the top of their lungs and gurgling out
words that make no sense!
“Uh…Mr. Smith, what was
the address for the Clark account?”
“GAAAAAGggogglaadjmoouuouie! Frappuccino!”
You can’t
tell me this drink is safe or good for human consumption. And you’re not only putting all of this stuff
into your body, you’re paying through the ass to do it!
Starbuck’s
has a “Kid’s drinks” menu. I clicked on
that and found “Freshly Brewed Coffee”.
So before dropping your kindergartener off at school in the mornings, hit
Starbuck’s and get him a nice steaming cup of Joe!
Ok yes,
being realistic a kindergartener isn’t going to like, or drink coffee. But I’ll bet you they’ll drink a Double
chocolate chip crème Frappuccino! Make
sure there’s extra caffeine, too! REALLY
jack the kid up before dropping him or her off at school! If there’s one thing teachers love, it’s a caffeinated
six year old!
(Ok, for the record, teachers do
not like caffeinated and jacked up children and I’m not actually telling you to
get a child all sugared and caffeinated up before sending him to torture a poor
teacher! I’m sure parents wouldn’t like
it much if a teacher passed out these drinks before sending the children home
after school. HAHAHAHAHAHA, as if a
teacher could afford anything at a Starbuck’s on their salary, let alone buy
stuff for a whole class! They’d probably
rather buy a car, or boat, or something like that!)
Starbuck’s
also sells some food. How about some
Classic Whole-Grain Oatmeal? It’s has “rolled
and steel-cut oats” among other things.
I thought you fed oats to horses and cows and livestock like that. I HATE oatmeal and don’t think I want to be
eating oats, either! YUCK! I won’t even try that with my Chocolate chip
caffeine Frappuccino thing. (That drink is actually starting to sound pretty
good. I do like chocolate…)
Starbuck’s
is getting a lot of attention today because they’re rolling out a new
drink. I have no idea what the new drink
is because I didn’t pay that much attention to what the lady on the radio was
saying, but it’s some kind of new thing that everyone will now have to
have. If you go to order whatever this
is, make sure you get Venti Ice size. It’ll
probably be about $15, but what the hell, right?
Thinking
back, I actually have bought something at a Starbuck’s before. It wasn’t a drink though, I bought a $10 gift
card and offered it up as a prize along with one of my books for someone
commenting on some post or something I did on Facebook. I put the nice little gift card inside the
book as a bookmark. A LOT of people
commented if I remember right. Sadly, I
think they were all looking forward to the gift card more than they were
looking forward to reading my book! Wow,
authors will sink pretty low to get one of their books out there! *chuckle*
I do
think I’m going to have to try one of the chocolate chip Frappuccino things. I don’t want to go alone, though. I’ll have to grab my niece and take her along
with me. I know she does occasionally
read my blogs and will see this so I’m sure she’ll remind me. *chuckle*
Ok,
time to end this while I take time to converse with my niece and find out how
much trouble I’m in for mentioning her in my blog. *chuckle*
Actually…if you go to this link you can read a blog where I interviewed
her!
That
blog post actually has 369 views!
*chuckle* I guess people want to
know about Tiffany! I’ll have to see if
she’ll agree to do another interview with me since the last interview was when
she was still in high school, I think.
Now that she’s a college woman I think we should find out all about how
things are in college today and exactly what her thoughts on Starbucks are! Until tomorrow, toodles.
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