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Wednesday, November 19, 2014

The Idiot's Finger

The Dumbest News of All
There are a lot of dumb things that go on in the world, but what I’m about to write about is one of the dumbest pieces of news I’ve seen in my lifetime.  First, let me spout off a bit of personal commentary about gun safety:

During my time in the military and even some time in the civilian world I made it my business to learn about guns.  Not because I really like them (We all like gun when we’re young, they’re loud, violent and exciting), but because they’re dangerous.  And if you have at least some knowledge about something dangerous, you can keep yourself a lot safer around it.  Anyway, it’s not very difficult to tell if a weapon is loaded.  You simply open the firing chamber and look inside.  I know that sounds complicated, but it isn’t.  If you own a gun, you should know how to do this.  People that claim they were cleaning their weapons and end up shooting themselves are morons.  Saying “I didn’t know it was loaded” shows that you aren’t responsible to have a weapon in my opinion. Not checking to see if a weapon has a bullet in the chamber before “cleaning” it is irresponsible.

Now that I’ve said my piece, let’s move on to baseball.  What do guns have to do with baseball?  Well let me tell you about an idiot named Jose Canseco.  He was a baseball player years ago. He hit a lot of homeruns, but was also probably using a bunch of “ability enhancing drugs”.  That means he was probably full of steroids, but let’s forget that for a second. 

Jose made millions playing baseball and eventually wrote a book called Juiced: Wild Times, Rampant 'Roids, Smash Hits & How Baseball Got Big.

Think Jose was into some “juicing” now?  Anyway, that’s not the major reason I’m writing about him being stupid.  Let’s move on from baseball and book writing to today.  A short while ago Jose was cleaning (ie: playing with) a gun.  The gun went off and blew his middle finger off his hand.  Jose said he didn’t know the gun was loaded.  See my paragraph above about how to check if a weapon is loaded.  Here’s the fabulous news story:

At least alcohol wasn’t involved.  So now we know that Jose is that stupid sober.  And his lovely girlfriend would like you to pray for Jose’s finger.  But this STILL isn’t why I’m writing about how dumb this guy is!  The story goes on from here!  How is stuff like this news?  Probably because people like me can’t resist writing about things that are this dumb.

So Jose’s finger has been shot off and then reattached.  Any normal person would try to learn a lesson from the incident and give their finger time to heal.  Did Jose do this?  HELL NO!

I guess Jose was proud about all of this and was tweeting all about his finger.  He even posted a photo of the bloody, blown off appendage to his twitter feed, but after realized how gruesome that was, took the photo down a few hours later.  I’m sorry I missed seeing that.  (Actually, I’m not sorry to have missed seeing the finger and I could care less about Jose’s twitter feed.)  It’s nice that he could take the time to get a photo of his blown off finger before seeing a doctor.

Anyway, Jose decided to play poker a bit after that and his finger “fell off” again.  Maybe it was too embarrassed to be attached to this moron anymore?  And again after his incessant tweeting he made the news again.  This time because he began boasting that he will sell the finger on ebay.

My God, really?  He honestly thinks someone will want to buy a detached finger?  Just a side note here, ebay will not allow body parts to be sold on their auctions.  I do think he should get rid of the gun.  Or who knows, maybe we’ll see nine more of these news stories?  He got himself some media attention with this stunt, so why not shoot off the other nine fingers? 

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