Monster Sex

This blog is going to be “R” rated so if you aren’t old enough to talk about sex, you’d better stop reading now.  This blog should only be read by adults.

Ok, hopefully all my three year old readers are now gone.  Let’s talk about sex.  Specifically Monster sex.  Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself “What the hell is he talking about?  What is Monster sex?” If you are asking yourself that, hopefully you’re doing it quietly so people don’t stare.

Monster sex is sex between monsters.  Or sex WITH monsters.  Now when you mention monsters to me I usually think about the king of monsters, Godzilla.

Godzilla having sex would probably destroy a few buildings, but then he does that anyway, doesn't he?  Actually, today I'm going to talk about sex with a monster a little bit smaller.  To tell you the truth I had never really thought about Monster sex myself until recently.  A friend mentioned it and I had thought she was just being silly.  She wasn't.  She was talking about a book.

Actually it's more of a short story than a book as it's only around 3,000 words long.  It's about Monster sex.  That nice lady on the cover is named Rosie Peaks.  And Rosie and her peaks ends up with her car broke down in a swamp.  She gets out and begins to wander around after taking off her expensive shoes and ends up being found by a Swamp Monster.  Once he finds her, cue the cheap 70's porn music!  They end up going at it!  Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!  

This small bit of imagination gave me quite a few smiles!  I've read and reviewed a number of erotic stories before, but nothing like this one.  This one was...fun.  This one was REALLY different!  *chuckle*  This story has phrases like these:

"It came toward me, arms...vines outstretched..."

"There must be laws against this sort of thing."

"A seaweed coated appendage reached up and stroked my cheek..."

I love those lines!  And the rest of the story is just as entertaining!  This was something new and fun for me!  Every so often I make a video called "Bob's Books" and talk about a book I like.  I absolutely HAD to make a video for this story!  It cried out for a video!  And of course, I had to make the video while wearing a hockey mask.  *chuckle*

Now if I were still young enough to play with dolls, I’m sure this would have inspired me to find a Swamp Thing action figure.  Can you imagine this coming over to Barbie’s Dream House for a tea party?

"Baaaaaaarrrrrbieee!, Daddy's home!"  Time to test out that new Barbie bed!  After a round or two on some of Barbie's lawn furniture before also trying out the bed, everyone is happy.  *chuckle*  And then nine months later Barbie has a son who grows up to look like this:

Anyway, back to the story Banged In The Bayou.  As you can see it got my imagination racing.  *chuckle*  It was a fun story and at the end Barbie...oops, I mean Rosie Peaks lives happily ever after.  It's only 99 cents on the Kindle, or Nook, or where ever you want to read it and well worth that small amount.  But you'd better hurry if you want to take a look though, I've been told by the author that she's going to rewrite everything and make the story longer now!  You'd better pick it up while you still can!  

So click on any of the links I'll put down below and you can find this fantastic story!  Meanwhile, I'll see if I can get the author to maybe do an interview with me.  I'd love to ask a few Monster Sex questions!  *chuckle*  And we can maybe even convince her to talk about other books she's written.  You know how hard it is to get an author to talk about their books.  *chuckle*  Anyway, visit the links and have some fun!

Banged In The Bayou on the Kindle.

Banged In The Bayou on the Nook.

Out On Top

Bob’s Books: Out On Top by: Steve Morris

There are books and then there are books.  If you look on any “bestseller” list in the world you’ll usually find books that were published by some huge publisher with an enormous advertising budget written by (or ghost written for) some celebrity.  But the people just reading these books are missing out.  There are some really incredible books out there written by fantastically talented writers who don’t get much notice.  Well today I’m going to do what I can by telling you about a book by one of my favorite authors!

Out On Top is a book of short stories by author Steve Morris.  He has published two other books full of short stories called In All Probability and Jumble Tales.  Steve’s stories always seemed to have some kind of twist to the ending.  I loved reading his stuff!  Now with Out On Top the stories have good endings.  Don’t get me wrong, there are still some dark themes here, but the main characters in these stories always come Out On Top in the end. 

Though the stories may have good endings, they aren’t your typical “feel good” type of thing.  The stories range from a man who can see into other people’s past and know their dark secrets, to another man who has stalked a girl he had feelings for decades before in high school and plans a “surprise” meeting with her, to a story about a two headed puppy.  I have two favorite stories in the book, the story about the two headed puppy called Better Than One (The puppy’s heads were named Holmes and Watson.  *chuckle*).  The puppy story needs to be read and not described.  My second favorite story though, is called Score To Settle. 

Score To Settle is a story about a lower league English Soccer player who is in the late stages of his career.  Sadly, his wife had cheated with another soccer player who is also in the late stages of his career.  During a match where the two teams play, the man decides to get physical revenge on the other man who had cheated with his wife.  He’s looking to take this guy out and more than likely end his walking around.  A very good story with tension right up to what happens at the end.  Does it have a good ending?  Of course it does!  The main character comes Out On Top, but in a way I hadn’t seen coming.  It was a fantastic story that really made me smile.  It ranks as one of the best sports stories I’ve ever read.

     All the stories in Out On Top were well written and once you start reading one, you want to see it to the end to find out what happens.  Even after finishing one story, I was anxious to start the next one.  Steve has a writing style that almost seems musical to me.  He does such a great job describing everything in his stories.

Now would be a good time to put up an excerpt one story to get you interested.  Instead, I think I’ll post the link to the Bob’s Books episode and you can listen to me read an excerpt from Score To Settle.  Once you’re hooked, pick the book up yourself to find out what happens!

When you're ready to help support this great author, follow the link below and order a copy of this great book!  (Click and paste if you have to!  Sometimes Blogger wants to be troublesome.  *chuckle*)

http://www.amazon.com/Out-Top-Collection-Upbeat-Stories-ebook/dp/B00IQ8PF44/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1398048668&sr=8-1&keywords=steve+Morris+out+on+top