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Monday, July 14, 2014

Monster Sex

This blog is going to be “R” rated so if you aren’t old enough to talk about sex, you’d better stop reading now.  This blog should only be read by adults.

Ok, hopefully all my three year old readers are now gone.  Let’s talk about sex.  Specifically Monster sex.  Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself “What the hell is he talking about?  What is Monster sex?” If you are asking yourself that, hopefully you’re doing it quietly so people don’t stare.

Monster sex is sex between monsters.  Or sex WITH monsters.  Now when you mention monsters to me I usually think about the king of monsters, Godzilla.

Godzilla having sex would probably destroy a few buildings, but then he does that anyway, doesn't he?  Actually, today I'm going to talk about sex with a monster a little bit smaller.  To tell you the truth I had never really thought about Monster sex myself until recently.  A friend mentioned it and I had thought she was just being silly.  She wasn't.  She was talking about a book.

Actually it's more of a short story than a book as it's only around 3,000 words long.  It's about Monster sex.  That nice lady on the cover is named Rosie Peaks.  And Rosie and her peaks ends up with her car broke down in a swamp.  She gets out and begins to wander around after taking off her expensive shoes and ends up being found by a Swamp Monster.  Once he finds her, cue the cheap 70's porn music!  They end up going at it!  Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!  

This small bit of imagination gave me quite a few smiles!  I've read and reviewed a number of erotic stories before, but nothing like this one.  This one  This one was REALLY different!  *chuckle*  This story has phrases like these:

"It came toward me, arms...vines outstretched..."

"There must be laws against this sort of thing."

"A seaweed coated appendage reached up and stroked my cheek..."

I love those lines!  And the rest of the story is just as entertaining!  This was something new and fun for me!  Every so often I make a video called "Bob's Books" and talk about a book I like.  I absolutely HAD to make a video for this story!  It cried out for a video!  And of course, I had to make the video while wearing a hockey mask.  *chuckle*

Now if I were still young enough to play with dolls, I’m sure this would have inspired me to find a Swamp Thing action figure.  Can you imagine this coming over to Barbie’s Dream House for a tea party?

"Baaaaaaarrrrrbieee!, Daddy's home!"  Time to test out that new Barbie bed!  After a round or two on some of Barbie's lawn furniture before also trying out the bed, everyone is happy.  *chuckle*  And then nine months later Barbie has a son who grows up to look like this:

Anyway, back to the story Banged In The Bayou.  As you can see it got my imagination racing.  *chuckle*  It was a fun story and at the end Barbie...oops, I mean Rosie Peaks lives happily ever after.  It's only 99 cents on the Kindle, or Nook, or where ever you want to read it and well worth that small amount.  But you'd better hurry if you want to take a look though, I've been told by the author that she's going to rewrite everything and make the story longer now!  You'd better pick it up while you still can!  

So click on any of the links I'll put down below and you can find this fantastic story!  Meanwhile, I'll see if I can get the author to maybe do an interview with me.  I'd love to ask a few Monster Sex questions!  *chuckle*  And we can maybe even convince her to talk about other books she's written.  You know how hard it is to get an author to talk about their books.  *chuckle*  Anyway, visit the links and have some fun!

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