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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

What you can do

The world is a strange place.  And now New Yorkers have to go thirsty!  Want to know why?  It's because King Bloomberg has decided that no one can drink more than 16 ounces of soda.  Or is he a mayor?  I get confused.  Obviously he gets confused, too.  Anyway, Mayor King Bloomberg decided that it's bad for you to have more than 16 ounces of soda at one time so he's going to make it illegal to sell more than that.  It must be good to be the king.

On the flip side, it's still legal to go out and buy a carton of cigarettes and smoke them all at once.  That can't be bad for you because Bloomberg still allows you to buy and smoke what you want, right?  And Vodka must still be good for you.  Hell, you can go out and buy a half a gallon of that stuff and chug it down all at once.  Bloomberg doesn't seem to care about vodka or cigarettes.  But try and sip that 17th ounce of soda and he'll be right on your ass, fatty!

How did you New Yorkers vote this guy in?  Next, he'll be telling you how much candy you can eat and then he'll probably put Willy Wonka in prison for dealing candy!  The prison bread tastes like prison bread!  The prison water tastes like prison water!  The snozberries taste like...well, you can't taste the snozberries because King Bloomberg will probably think they're bad for you and then outlaw them.  Poor Willie Wonka!

How about we have a vote on a few other laws?  Maybe New Yorkers should be allowed to vote on a law that says King Bloomberg is only allowed to ride in a car half a mile a day.  Too many emissions, his riding in a car isn't good for me!  So he can ride for half a mile and then he has to get out and walk wherever he's going.  It's not healthy to ride around in a limo and choke me with the smog that comes out of the tailpipe!

So here's the new enemy of New Yorkers according to King Bloomberg.  A fat guy with a Super Big Gulp.  I guess there's no crime in New York, and no unemployment.  The big concern is soda now.  Just like the fun people in Washington D.C. if you want someone who does this kind of shit elected as king of your city, more power to you.  The people in Washington elected a crackhead, why shouldn't New York have a king?

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