A look at Robert's week, day #1

Ok folks, as a writing exercise I've decided to spend seven fun filled days writing about my days.  Thoughts, pictures, whatever.  I wanted to see if I would actually have anything to write about, so here goes.  Living in Las Vegas doesn't necessarily mean that every day is full of fantastic excitement, though.  Today, for example, was probably a pretty boring day to write about.  I slept most of the day, and then drove over to visit my friend "Chinstrap."  No, you don't get to see a picture of him.  His girlfriend actually made a fantastic dinner, and I do want to tell her thank you, I wasn't really that hungry, but what I did eat was really delicious!  So thanks, Chun!  (Yes, her name is Chun, and being Chinese, she made Chinese food for dinner.  Trust me when I say there's nothing better than home made Chinese food made by someone who is really Chinese!)  Damn...now that I think about it, I probably should have taken a picture of the food.  Oh well, write and learn, right?

Chinstrap and I were talking about security, and a few other things, and he starts to tell me he wants to find and buy something called a "Slap Jack."  He finds a picture online and shows me.  It's a lead filled piece of leather that you can used to smash someone across the face with.  Well, across the face, in the ribs, on the back...you get the idea.  He tells me this story of a relative who while working in law enforcement had used one to smack a guy across the face after the guy had spit on him.  I guess he knocked out a lot of the guy's teeth. 

So where was I?  Oh yes, we had this lovely dinner and were discussing...uh...not much else to say about tonight.  We did exchange a few videos, and then I headed home.  So now tonight, I'll probably watch some tv, and play a video game, or two and relax.  Then tomorrow, I'll remember to take some pictures and try to do something semi-exciting for my day off and post a few pictures.

So tune in tomorrow for day #2!  It can only get better from here, folks.  *chuckle*

War

War.  Wars start because one idiot doesn't like another idiot.  World War One was started after the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria was assassinated.  And yes, I looked that up.  It doesn't say who assassinated him though, or even why.  Did he not invite someone to a party, did he make fun of some guy on the street, or was it truly a political thing?  It doesn't really matter, because I'm not actually going to write about WW I.

I'm just...confused about a different kind of war I'm seeing now.  Some people might call it a war of information.  Just like most other people, I'm a member of Facebook.  And I post things on there once in a while, like this blog.  Recently, I've been seeing some people post some really nasty things on there.  Not just nasty, but sometimes aimed at other people!  People that they have on their friends list!  So...now they want a war of words with a friend?  I don't understand...

Herman:  I think people who eat cheese are stupid!  Cheese sucks!

Wally:  I actually like cheese.  There are all kinds, maybe you just need to try a few different kinds?

Herman:  You're a moron, you cheese eating, slimy, communist!  

Wally:  I just thought you might have gotten some bad cheese, or something?

Herman:  Screw you, cheese sleaze!

These are friends?  Now obviously this isn't a real conversation on Facebook.  You can probably tell because it's just written in red and blue and doesn't even really look like Facebook posts.  But you get the idea.  And no, there isn't really a fight going on about cheese!  At least not that I know of.  But it's the general idea.  Someone posts their political theory, someone else bad mouths it, and then we have a war of words going on.  I don't want to read this stuff!  What the hell?  I have enough animosity in my own life to keep me occupied, why do I have to read about why Herman hates people who eat cheese?  (Wow, here I am back at cheese again...I must be hungry.)

I want to read the pleasant posts.  A post about how my niece is doing in collage.  See a picture of my friend's horses, or the goat next door!  (I actually meant a goat.  Some friends live on farms, I didn't really mean an old man.  *chuckle*)  We're supposed to be friends on here!  Now people are getting offended by something someone writes and then the "de-friending" starts.  

Wally:  I de-friended someone because he called me a cheese sleaze!

Herman:  I had to de-friend this cheese eating commie the other day!

For crying out loud!  You know, I actually signed up for Facebook to promote my books.  And while on here I've made some really good friends, and reunited with some people from way back, too!  And for the most part, it's been pretty damned nice!  I've even made one, or two business connections for my writing.  But enough with the war of words, ok?  

Stop the bullshit and let's all be friends again.

Rides

I love amusement parks.  Who doesn't, right?  As a kid, you want to ride everything!  Well, not as a kid, but maybe as a stupid teenager?  Little kids are smart enough to stay off of some rides.  But some of them really can give a rush, I guess?  Here's a video of one I came across at a place in Ohio called Kings Island.  At the very end, a guy comes out of his seat and goes flying across the park!  ... ... ... Ok, that's actually a lie.  No one falls off, but it sure looks like someone is about to, doesn't it?

That's a safe ride.  But that's not what people want, is it?  We want unsafe rides.  People may say they want safe rides, but does this look safe?

Oh yeah, these people will have fun, won't they?  I'll bet vomit can be shot half a mile away if they spin the propeller fast enough!  Or maybe we can corrupt a safe ride and make it unsafe?  No one does that, do they?  Uh...

Nothing can go wrong there, right?  Oh yeah, he's real safe.  Someone please tell me this picture is photoshopped, or something!  Wow, people will just do anything, won't they?  Sheesh!  Personally, I'm going to stick with the safer rides.  Well...ok, maybe not the safest ones.  I do have an appreciation for this whiplash machine:

And because I know some of you are reading this and expecting me to show you some kind of ride accident, carnage, or something like that...here you go:  This is what you get when you allow idiots to ride the duckies!

What did you think was going to happen?  *chuckle*  

Trip to Toys R Us...the sequel

Yup, once again I was bored and took a trip to Toys R Us to see what kind of toys are out there for the kids of today.  My generation had a whiffle ball and bat, a bike, and some stuffed animals.  This generation...well...they're spoiled stupid.

Here's a character called "The Joker."  He's a maniac, a killer, and not a very nice person!  Not the kind of role model you want for a little kid!

Or is he?  Let's make some toys based on this guy for little kids!  And not just little kids, but toddlers!  Hooray!

Need I say anymore about this?  Ok, it's just a clown, right?  How about this one?

He comes with a bazooka and...I guess large, metal anal probe?  What the hell is the metal thing on the left hand side of him?  Is it...does it maybe fit into the bazooka like ammo?  Then the kid who receives this can shoot the bazooka thing into his eye, or throat, or whatever!  Hooray!  As a side note here, when I was a kid I really wanted a Cylon fighter ship and little Cylon that would fit in the ship.  Before I could ask Mom for one, some kid shot the missiles attached to it down his throat and choked himself.  Then his mom sued the toy company and it was removed from the shelves.  Thanks, stupid kid!

Here's a good one.  It's the Playmobile family boating set.  It has a mom and dad, two kids, and all the fun outing stuff you'd need!  Fun for the tub, or the pool.  And then here comes the damn neighbor kid with the redneck boating set!

Your pretend family is trying to have fun on the pretend lake, and here come these drunken idiots with their huge grappling hook, and their noisy, nasty redneck boat!  Can you imagine these idiots zooming by the nice family and throwing beer cans at them?  YEEEEEHA!

Ok yes, maybe I'm taking these two toys way too seriously.  How about another boating toy?  And this one I can't really even figure out:

Ok, which one is the "True Hero?"  The squid, or the pirate guy with the black knife?  And why is this guy in what looks like a rowboat, anyway?  I guess the guy is a hero fighting the squid with his little black knife until the neighbor kids zoom by in their redneck boat and shoot the grappling hook into the squid and then they're the heros, right?  Or maybe they hook the little rowboat and sink the pirate guy?  (I think my imagination is running away here.)

Now I'm fine with merchandising.  George Lucas can in a way be called one of the fathers of this.  He was smart enough to keep the merchandising rights to Star Wars and the original figures are now expensive collectables!  Brilliant!  But...do we really have to merchandise everything now?  If a movie comes out, there are toys for it.

These are from the movie Cars 2.  The one on the left is a Gremlin.  My first car was a Gremlin.  They want $8.19 for these things?  The Gremlin I had cost me close to that!  And now they expect someone to pay that much for a Hotwheels type car that has eyes?  Hotwheels used to only be $0.99!  What the hell?    I've never actually seen a Hotwheels Gremlin, though.  I wonder if they're out there?

I did like Toy Story.  I liked all three movies.  These figures aren't from the movies, though.  These are from a short that came on before Cars 2!  Are we that desperate for money that we're now going to make an 8 minute, or so clip and then try to sell toys from that?

And last, but not least, how about this?  A lie detector for kids.  Do you suppose this actually works?  Can you see Dad one night sneaking this toy out and trying to question Mom with it?  We're really selling a lie detector set to kids?  And if it doesn't work, is that supposedly teaching kids that they can beat the machine?  Oy.

Ok, that's about it for this trip through Toys R Us.  I really do wonder what toys I'd be playing with if I were 10 today.  Probably video games.

Oy.

Ranting, Raving, bitching Robert

Yes, today I'm going to rant and bitch.  It's my blog, and I can do that if I want to!  Here's the deal:  I spend time on the things I write.  I make sure they're what I want to put out, I work on the stories, and usually for a book, it's taken me months to put one together.  Not months as in two or three, we're talking 10, or 11 months!  And now, here we have digital publishers.  I have nothing against them, as a matter of fact, I LOVE digital publishers!  They really help little independents like me get rolling.  But just because you can put a book out, doesn't mean you should.

Here's what I mean:  I'm seeing some people brag about putting out two, or three books or stories a month. What the hell is that?  Not that people can't write a book in 2 weeks, but...ok, you can't write and edit a good book or story in two weeks!  Not continuously!  BOOKS ARE NOT A NEWSPAPER COLUMN! Isn't the writing industry clogged enough?  Now I have to write and compete with someone who is putting out 50 books a year?  What the hell?  Just because you write a book every two weeks doesn't make you a good author, it makes you a puppy mill author! 

Ok, there's my rant for tonight.  

Land of the Dense

     Hi, and welcome to fabulous Las Vegas!

     Las Vegas is Wonderland!  You can come here and get as drunk as you want, do anything you like, and nothing bad will ever happen to you!

LAS VEGAS (AP) -- A man has been critically injured after falling from an escalator on the Las Vegas Strip.
  
Las Vegas Metropolitan Police Department spokeswoman Laura Meltzer said the man fell about 30 feet from an escalator leading to a bridge near Caesar's and the Bellagio casino around 4:30 a.m. Friday.
  
Meltzer said the 39-year-old man was a French national in town for a convention. His identity has not been released.
  
He was reportedly with a group of people and attempted to stand on the railing when he fell.
  
Meltzer said alcohol appears to be involved.




Oh.  Ok, that doesn't look so good.  I can't believe that you'd injure yourself if you get really drunk and try to stand on the handrail of a moving escalator!  How unfair of Las Vegas to injure this person!  You'd think that drunk people can do anything!  Or at least drunk people think they can do anything.  VEGAS, BABY!


That's just one idiot though, right?  I mean, who does something like that?  You're pretty safe here crossing the street at least, right?

Pedestrian killed in Las Vegas Strip accident identified

Posted: Apr. 29, 2011 | 10:37 a.m.BY MIKE BLASKY
LAS VEGAS REVIEW-JOURNAL

A man who died Thursday after being struck by a driver on the Las Vegas Strip was identified Friday.

Russell Barnet Fix III, 58, of Las Vegas, was struck and killed by a 1998 Ford F-150 truck driven by Aleesha C. Daly, 28, at 12:10 a.m. Thursday.

She was arrested by Las Vegas police on suspicion of drunken driving.

The collision happened on Las Vegas Boulevard just outside the Four Seasons Hotel.

Police said Fix had been in a crosswalk, but then entered the right travel lane and headed toward a bus stop. He was jaywalking when struck by the truck, police said.

Daly was booked into the Clark County jail. She is being held on a $2,000 bond.

Oh.  So even jaywalking is dangerous here?  Geez!  Vegas...baby?  It was probably the guy's fault for jaywalking.  Wait...the girl was driving drunk too, wasn't she?  Wow...

So I guess Las Vegas isn't the safe haven stupid people think it is, is it?  Now I don't feel as safe as I did before I started writing this.

Sports the way I want them

     Let's face it, professional sports are being ruined.  The NFL is in a lock out, the NBA is going to be in a lock out, baseball had two strikes years ago.  Money has ruined everything.  I think it's time for me to watch golf, but I want a few changes:

     First, I want "enhancers" legalized for the sport.  And not just enhancers, I want anabolic steroids not only legalized, I want them mandatory!  I want to see a guy who can hit a 600 yard drive and then after he misses a putt go nuts and start attacking the spectators!  I want this guy to be my favorite golfer:

     Here he is on the first tee, Mr...ah...Graaaaaahhh Gmmmmbble!  At first, he misses the ball completely and then starts attacking a nearby tree.  Then, after he knocks the tree down, he goes running back and smashes the golf ball 625 yards!  Unfortunately, the hole he's golfing on is only 225 yards long.  He runs over to the hole and can't find his ball.  Now he goes nuts, breaks the flag in the hole, and starts attacking his caddy.

     How about that?  Doesn't that sound more fun?  I want Lyle Alzado golf!  If you don't know who he was, he played pro football.  He did a lot of steroids and played 15 years of football.  Then he died of brain cancer at 43.  I can remember reading somewhere that when he was playing for Oakland, each day during practice a "Roach Coach" sandwich truck would pull up outside the stadium.  If Lyle didn't get the first sandwich from the truck, he would attack whoever did.  Now that's football!  Or at least steroid football...ok, steroid roach coach fun.  But still, if he were still alive, he could be part of a celebrity roid golf tournament!

     I'm sure there will be people reading this who will want to call me names, and say I'm making fun of a really dark part of sports.  But these guys did this stuff to themselves.  Another part of the "win at any cost" mentality.  And whether you like it, or not, I still want to see steroid golf!

     Here's Chi-Chi Rodriguez.  He doesn't golf anymore, he got too old, I think.  But he was fun!  Chi-Chi wasn't full of steroids, but when he would sink a really good putt, he would wave his putter around like he was sword fighting!  Yay, Chi-Chi!  Where is that in sports anymore, let alone golf?  I never heard anything bad about Chi-Chi...at all...EVER!  He was fun, and a good guy.  So if you won't let me have roid golf, how about we get more guys like Chi-Chi in the tournaments?  They may not golf well, but they won't be boring!  (And that's not to say that Chi-Chi wasn't any good, either!  He won 8 titles on the PGA Tour between 1963 and 1979, and is in the golf hall of fame!  I checked wikipedia.)

     So what the hell was I even writing about, anyway?  Oh yeah, how bad sports have become and what would help me watch golf.  Let's end this with a few...gems from sporting's past:

Bo Jackson.  He played both football for the Oakland Raiders, and baseball for the Kansas City Royals.  After striking out, he would routinely break his bat over his knee.  Yahoo!

Deon Sanders.  Famous for his football play, he also actually played pro baseball!  And was actually pretty good at both sports, too!  People either loved, or hated Deon (And still today as a commentator, people hate him.), but they can't deny he had a LOT of talent!

Finally, Jim Abbott.  This guy was born with only one hand, his left.  And still, he pitched in major league baseball!  And before you think the California Angles were just being nice letting him play, he also pitched for the New York Yankees, Chicago White Sox, and the Milwaukee Brewers!  He played pro ball from 1989 to 1999.  I do remember seeing him pitch on tv a couple of times, and he was really good!  So there!  One hand, and he struck guys out!  HA, that's what I want to see!

Drive anything as a Senator

     I grew up in Idaho.  I spent most of my youth there, and listen to someone close to me always tell me how wonderful and "crime free" it is.  Well, an Idaho Senator decided to change that!  If you're a Senator, you can do anything, right?  People in government are immune from laws, right?  Oops, wrong.

     This is Idaho Republican Senator John McGee.  Now usually I let my friend Marc complain in his blog "Political Spaghetti" about all the political stuff, but having grown up in Idaho, I think I deserve to delve into this little adventure.  Yes, that's a mug shot of Senator "Drive Anything."  He decided to get drunk in Boise, Idaho, wander down a street and then steal someone's truck.  Well, not just their truck, it also had a trailer attached to it!  So he stole a truck and trailer!  By the way, he didn't have to work too hard to steal it because the keys were left in the ignition.  You can do that and no one will steal your truck and trailer as long as it's parked in your driveway...well, unless a drunken Idaho Senator comes along, that is.

     Here's the truck and trailer he stole.  He jack knifed it in someone else's driveway, wandered back and forth in front of it, and then climbed back behind the wheel and fell asleep.  Two amused kids in the house belonging to the driveway called the police.  When the police arrived, he said he was headed for Jackpot, Nevada.  I guess Idaho wasn't good enough for him to drive around, no slot machines.  Obviously he didn't make it to Nevada here, and I can't say I'm disappointed.  We have enough of our own problems here, Idaho needs to keep their thieving Senators in their own state!  His breathalyzer test showed he was .15, nearly twice Idaho's legal limit!  Hooray, he hit the intoxication jackpot!  (But never actually made it to Jackpot...got to be clear on that!)

     Here's a bit of an article that was written about this, and my commentary on it.  My commentary is in red.  And while I'd like to give credit to the author, I couldn't find a by line.  Online stuff, you know.  Anyway, believe it or not, it's a British news article, i think!

Fellow Idaho Republican Senator Brent Hill expressed support for Mr McGee and said the immediate concern is for his colleague and his family.

But no concern for the people who had their truck stolen, or the kids who could have been killed if Senator "Take what I want" would have crashed the truck into the house instead of jack knifing it in the drive way.

Mr Hill told the Associated Press: 'We feel really bad about the situation and how it may affect his wife and family.

But not how it may affect the people who's truck was stolen?  I think both Hill and McGee lost votes here.

'Our concerns right now are to help him and his family out any way we can.

But not help the people who's truck was stolen.  How touching.

'We just want to make sure things work out for John and his family.'

In other words, they want him to get off scott free after committing a major felony.

Messages left at the McGee family home were not returned Sunday.

The article said because of the nature of the charges, he would remain in jail until Monday when he sees a judge.  So who did they think would return the messages from his house, his wife?  Did they expect to hear her say "He did what?"  What the hell?

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2005672/Senator-John-McGee-facing-drunken-driving-grand-theft-charges.html#ixzz1PosxNjcj

In Wonderland

     I've said for a long time that Las Vegas is like living in Wonderland to me.  Well now the whole world seems to be becoming Wonderland.  Honestly, what the hell is wrong with you people?  I drive down the road and some idiot has to race by me, cut me off and jam on his breaks so he can turn right!  He HAD to be in front of me before he turned!  I just can't understand someone who almost causes a car accident just so he can turn in front of someone else.  And this is nothing.  This is just the beginning...

     Now way back when I was a kid, you would always hear about the rare boys and girls who would go out behind the barn, or school, or whatever and show each other their privates.  WOW, what a thrill!  Now, we don't bother with that, we have technology!  Now we just text a picture of our privates to someone else.  Or better yet, you use a social thing like Twitter to tweet your privates out there!  This is...what can I even say about this?  And NOW, we have a guy in the government doing it!  AND HIS NAME IS WEINER!  A MAN NAMED WEINER TWEETED A PICTURE OF HIS WEINER!  Call the Mad Hatter and the March Hare and let's set up a fucking tea party!  (Sorry about the profanity, but I got a little excited there.)

     I'm not sure if this is an actual picture of the guy, but it looks like him to me.  And then he says he had some kind of "sex addiction."  Ok, I'm an alcoholic, and I can understand addictions, but how does a sex addiction get you to tweet your wiener?  Ok, wait...I think I did find a picture of him...

     How did he get elected with a neck like that?  Oh well, Washington DC elected a crackhead for mayor a few times.  And it was well known he was a crackhead, but I guess it's ok if people know you're a sex addict, or crackhead, or whore, or whatever, right?

     Weiner resigned, I guess.  I think someone named "Testicles" is taking his place.  Let's hope he doesn't like to tweet!  And while I'm on the subject, why is this crap only coming from the males?  Wouldn't it be fun for Sarah Palin to go off the deep end and tweet out a shot of her boobs?  She can have a pic taken next to her daughter, and they can both maybe show off their boobs and then say the tweet is for planned parenthood, or something!  Somebody call her, let's see em!

     Since we had a Congressman "Weiner" I think I should probably check the rest of the congressional rolls.  We might have a Congresswoman "Ta ta's"  or maybe a Congresswoman "Twat?"  Who knows?  Ok, I'm a bit lazy in that area and won't be checking any rolls, let alone the congress one.  I'll just keep checking my twitter account, though.

Vacation time

     It's vacation time again.  Yes, that time when I get away from Las Vegas and pretend I don't work at a casino!  And where am I going, you might ask?  I'm heading to a book conference.  But not just any book conference, a book conference full of women!  Hooray, you might say?  We'll see, won't we?

     It's for romance readers and writers.  For the most part, who reads and writes romance?  Women.  So where to I fit in with all of this?  Well, I did write two romance books and am kind of in the middle of a third.  And I've written a couple of "erotic" stories that I'm almost afraid to submit to some of these online publishers.  What happens if they love them and want to publish them?  *chuckle*  Oh no, I might be a writer!  And a writer women might actually want to read?  Oh no, call the authorities!

     After my first book was finished, I took a celebratory trip to Disneyland with a friend of mine, and a few kids.  I had a shirt made with the book cover and back on it.  (Yes, I'll be wearing the shirt to this conference even though the book isn't a romance!)  It happened that we somehow scheduled our trip during "Gay Days."  My friend asked me if I really wanted to wear the shirt.  "What if one of the gay people decides they like the book?" he asked me.  I was shocked that he was so homophobic that he didn't seem to want gay people to buy my book.  I told him that gay people have credit cards, too.  And if they want to buy the book and have wild, gay, sex on it, I didn't care.  As long as they bought the book!  I put it up for sale to be bought!

     So what was I talking about?  Oh yeah, a conference full of women.  So what will these women think of me?  Will they think I'm just someone's husband who's there wandering around?  Will they accept me?  I've met a couple of the women online, so they might be nice to me.  I wonder if I'll be an outcast, though?  "What if that man likes my book?"  Who cares, as long as I buy it, right?

     So far the women authors I've met online have been really nice!  So maybe they will accept me as one of their own?  After all, we're all writers, right?  And we're all there to have a good time, network, and promote, right?  This should be great!  But...

     I do have a bit of an ear infection going on now.  I'll get over it, but I'm pretty sure being on a pressurized airplane won't be very pleasant.  I do have pictures in my head of my sinuses exploding and blood everywhere.  Or maybe my ears will just pop?  Maybe my head will pop?  Oh well, what the hell?  Off we go on vacation!