Ok, I've got about a half an hour before I try to get to work. I say try because I don't know how bad the traffic will be tonight. Right now it's about 7:30 pm on 12/31/10. I have to get to the Las Vegas Strip, which by the way has now been shut down to car traffic by the police, by 10pm. And then the real chaos will begin, I'm sure.
New Year's Eve in Las Vegas is...how do I describe it? Wild, stupid, dense, a pain in the butt, maniacal, sinister... The fountains will probably end up full of vomit, and the streets full of trash. There will be fights, arrests, violence, screaming, noise, and complete insanity. Everything that I loved when I was younger...and hate now that I'm older. It's funny how we change like that, isn't it?
I'll have one of the best seats in the house for this year. I'll be a Security Dispatcher. While handling about 400 phone calls, and sending officers here and there, I'll somehow find time to use the cameras to watch the screaming crowd...the cameras don't have sound by the way, so I get to watch them with relative quiet. I'd like to put on my Ipod while I watch them and have some cool music playing (Maybe the piano tune "The Entertainer?" *chuckle*), but will have to listen to the security radio instead. And actually, that might have quite a bit of comedy come through itself!
"Big Sal to Control, I have a man here who hasn't checked in yet, do we have any rooms available for the night?"
"Control to Big Sal, you were told in briefing the entire city is sold out for tonight!"
"I understand that, but do we have any rooms available?"
"No...I just told you we're sold out!"
"Ok, he wants to know where he can go then."
I'm sure I'll have a crowd of "Big Sals" to deal with. No one seems to listen, especially when we're busy.
"Control to available units, there's a fight at the Mambo Bar! Repeat, fight at the Mambo Bar, get over there!"
"Charlie Six and Charlie Seven responding!"
"Copy Six and Seven, let me know what's going on and keep me informed."
"Big Sal to Control, I think there's something going on over at the Mambo Bar."
"Yes, there's a fight! Head over and assist Charlie Six and Seven!"
"I think it's a fight. Did you want me to go over there? This is Big Sal again, by the way."
"I read you, Big Sal! yes, get over to the Mambo Bar!"
"Charlie Six to Control, multiple injuries, and we have one in custody. We're taking him to the security office."
"Copy Charlie Six."
"Big Sal to Control, I'm over at the Mambo Bar now, and I don't see a fight."
"We have one in custody, Big Sal, head over to the security office!"
"But what about the fight? Shouldn't I find the fight first? This is Big Sal, by the way."
Obviously any headaches I get tonight will probably be because of "Big Sal" and not the loud, insane, screaming crowds of people! And for my coworkers who read this and think about asking me who "Big Sal" is: Look around you, if you can't recognize him, he may be you! *chuckle*
So for tonight, pray for me. Hold high hopes for me, and have a good time yourself. And for "Big Sal"...START PAYING ATTENTION, YOU MORON!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday, December 25, 2010
How to annoy Vegas hookers
I've been in Security for almost 8 years now, and have dealt with a lot of hookers in Las Vegas. Actually, you can't really call them hookers because most of them get guys drunk, take them back to their hotel room, and then rob them after they pass out. So they really aren't having sex for money, they're just female thieves.
Anyway, after watching them, and dealing with them for as long as I have, I have a few suggestions if you happen to be taking a trip to Las Vegas and would like to have a bit of fun annoying these...women. This should be really fun! If you're a guy, you won't have to seek these girls out, they'll find you. Trust me, sit at a bar in the middle of a busy casino all by yourself and they'll show up and start talking to you. When one does, just start in like this:
1. When she starts talking to you, tell her you really like her, but your wife is sitting at a table behind you. When she turns around to look, yell as loud as you can, "NO, DON'T LOOK AT HER!"
2. This one is a bit complicated, but still should be really fun. Watch the bar and find the largest (fattest) girl you can that is talking to all the men sitting at the bar. Go and start talking to her. If she decides to give you a price, or maybe says she'd like to go back to your room, take her up on it. Now, go up into the hotel hallways, but don't go to your room. Start telling her that you have to get to your room quickly before your roommate gets back, and get her jogging up and down the hallways. At the end of each hallway, tell her you thought your room was there, but it's in a different hallway. Keep her jogging around the halls for as long as you can. See if you can get her out of breath. When she finally has enough, and tells you she's leaving, yell "OH SHIT, IT'S SECURITY!" and run like hell! She'll more than likely run again, too.
Now, after she leaves, go back to the bars downstairs and try to find her again. If you do, try and pick her up again! Tell her you know where your room is now, and if she actually follows you, jog her around some more! She'll come if she thinks you have a lot of cash in the room. Tell her you couldn't figure out the hotel room safe and so the $5,000 cash you brought with you is in a sock under your pillow. Quite a few will follow you.
3. If you're able to pick one up in the bar, especially if she's quoted you a price, take her up to your hotel room, but ask her to wait outside for a few minutes while you get rid of your roommate. Then go inside your room and call security. Tell them there is a strange woman outside your room and she won't leave you alone! Ask for help and sound all panicked. Security will show up and take her away.
4. Find where the Security Podium is in the casino. Now go and let a hooker pick you up in a bar and tell her you need to get some money from an ATM. Instead of going to an ATM, walk her over to the Security Podium, and announce as loud as you can, "This woman has agreed to have sex with me for money! Do you have a house doctor that can check her for diseases?" Be forewarned, this will not go over well with either security, or the hooker, but it'll be funny, I promise!
Yes, these ideas are very rude. But let's remember that these women are in the casinos and bars to rob men. Most have been in and out of jail quite a bit. If they get the chance, they'll take everything you have. So remember that if you start feeling sorry for them. They are out there so frequently that there are even security officers who know a lot of them by name. "Hi Bambi, you know you aren't supposed to be in here. Time to head out!"
So have fun with them, but use a lot of caution. Some of them do carry weapons, pepper spray, and who knows what else. There is also a percentage of girls working the Las Vegas Strip who have AIDS! Yes, I said AIDS. So while this blog is fun and might make you laugh, in all honesty, leave the working girls alone. Prostitution is a two way street and I usually won't feel bad for some idiot who take a hooker up to his room, falls asleep, and then wakes up to find all his money and stuff gone.
Anyway, after watching them, and dealing with them for as long as I have, I have a few suggestions if you happen to be taking a trip to Las Vegas and would like to have a bit of fun annoying these...women. This should be really fun! If you're a guy, you won't have to seek these girls out, they'll find you. Trust me, sit at a bar in the middle of a busy casino all by yourself and they'll show up and start talking to you. When one does, just start in like this:
1. When she starts talking to you, tell her you really like her, but your wife is sitting at a table behind you. When she turns around to look, yell as loud as you can, "NO, DON'T LOOK AT HER!"
2. This one is a bit complicated, but still should be really fun. Watch the bar and find the largest (fattest) girl you can that is talking to all the men sitting at the bar. Go and start talking to her. If she decides to give you a price, or maybe says she'd like to go back to your room, take her up on it. Now, go up into the hotel hallways, but don't go to your room. Start telling her that you have to get to your room quickly before your roommate gets back, and get her jogging up and down the hallways. At the end of each hallway, tell her you thought your room was there, but it's in a different hallway. Keep her jogging around the halls for as long as you can. See if you can get her out of breath. When she finally has enough, and tells you she's leaving, yell "OH SHIT, IT'S SECURITY!" and run like hell! She'll more than likely run again, too.
Now, after she leaves, go back to the bars downstairs and try to find her again. If you do, try and pick her up again! Tell her you know where your room is now, and if she actually follows you, jog her around some more! She'll come if she thinks you have a lot of cash in the room. Tell her you couldn't figure out the hotel room safe and so the $5,000 cash you brought with you is in a sock under your pillow. Quite a few will follow you.
3. If you're able to pick one up in the bar, especially if she's quoted you a price, take her up to your hotel room, but ask her to wait outside for a few minutes while you get rid of your roommate. Then go inside your room and call security. Tell them there is a strange woman outside your room and she won't leave you alone! Ask for help and sound all panicked. Security will show up and take her away.
4. Find where the Security Podium is in the casino. Now go and let a hooker pick you up in a bar and tell her you need to get some money from an ATM. Instead of going to an ATM, walk her over to the Security Podium, and announce as loud as you can, "This woman has agreed to have sex with me for money! Do you have a house doctor that can check her for diseases?" Be forewarned, this will not go over well with either security, or the hooker, but it'll be funny, I promise!
Yes, these ideas are very rude. But let's remember that these women are in the casinos and bars to rob men. Most have been in and out of jail quite a bit. If they get the chance, they'll take everything you have. So remember that if you start feeling sorry for them. They are out there so frequently that there are even security officers who know a lot of them by name. "Hi Bambi, you know you aren't supposed to be in here. Time to head out!"
So have fun with them, but use a lot of caution. Some of them do carry weapons, pepper spray, and who knows what else. There is also a percentage of girls working the Las Vegas Strip who have AIDS! Yes, I said AIDS. So while this blog is fun and might make you laugh, in all honesty, leave the working girls alone. Prostitution is a two way street and I usually won't feel bad for some idiot who take a hooker up to his room, falls asleep, and then wakes up to find all his money and stuff gone.
Friday, December 3, 2010
A famous writer
A long time ago I met another author who wanted to swap book reviews. I was good with that, it's always good to have reviews of your books. Her name is Dawne Prochilo, and I read her first book, "Crape Myrtle."
I thought it was a good story, and gave her a good review. Feel free to take a look if you have a Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Crape-Myrtle-ebook/dp/B003FL6X6G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1291433442&sr=1-1
Anyway, we ended up chatting and exchanging an email now and then, and became friends. Dawne's quite a good writer, and moving up in the world! She'll still tell you that she's just a small town writer, maybe slightly famous where she lives. But I think truthfully she's building up quite a following with the stories she's writing. She has quite a different style of writing than I do, and you might even say she writes in an entirely different genre than I do. She writes what she describes as "erotic" stories. Interaction between men and women, where I usually write about a bunch of wild, crazy, characters doing insane things.
I decided to ask her if she would mind being interviewed for my blog. I don't have a ton of readers, but the few that I do, I thought might like to meet my friend. (I also figured I would see if she'll let me post this interview on her facebook page. She has a lot of fans that might like to read just a bit more about her! *chuckle*) So, without further ado, here are the questions I asked her:
I thought it was a good story, and gave her a good review. Feel free to take a look if you have a Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/Crape-Myrtle-ebook/dp/B003FL6X6G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1291433442&sr=1-1
Anyway, we ended up chatting and exchanging an email now and then, and became friends. Dawne's quite a good writer, and moving up in the world! She'll still tell you that she's just a small town writer, maybe slightly famous where she lives. But I think truthfully she's building up quite a following with the stories she's writing. She has quite a different style of writing than I do, and you might even say she writes in an entirely different genre than I do. She writes what she describes as "erotic" stories. Interaction between men and women, where I usually write about a bunch of wild, crazy, characters doing insane things.
I decided to ask her if she would mind being interviewed for my blog. I don't have a ton of readers, but the few that I do, I thought might like to meet my friend. (I also figured I would see if she'll let me post this interview on her facebook page. She has a lot of fans that might like to read just a bit more about her! *chuckle*) So, without further ado, here are the questions I asked her:
You've written and published a number of books so far, do you remember back when you were writing your first? What is its title, and what was it about?
Yes I do. It was the most intense book I've written to date. I spent hours and hours writing, editing, revising and finally selling that book. Crape Myrtle is by far my favorite novel to date. It's a suspense romance about a woman, Sadie Callaghan, and the local sheriff, Walt Malone. Her life is threatened, he's investigating a string of religious vandalisms- with Sadie being a prime suspect and as they clash over the investigations, their feelings and attraction can't be missed.
I understand you've also just received a contract to publish one of your latest books called "When We Meet Again." Can you tell us a bit about it?
It's a contemporary romance about two friends from high school that were inseparable, and in love but never admitted it to each other. The story takes place over the course of 25 years, from high school through her abusive marriage and divorce, his strained marriage and pending divorce and eventually having them meet up and share their love. It's a story about second chances at love and finding your true love.
I know it's quite a thrill when you get a book published. Does that feeling ever wear off for you? Or are you just as excited each time you get a new book coming out?
It's a feeling that never gets old. Every book release, signed contract and promotion is a new experience for me. My stomach flutters, my nerves are on edge and my psyche gets regenerated for the next novel.
Ok, here are the obligatory general questions: Tell me a bit about yourself, and how you got into writing. When did you first know you wanted to be a writer?
I'm mother of three grown children and live in rural Michigan where there's more cows and corn than residents. It's a very serene piece of heaven where I live and I love it.
I'm currently a full time writer. I freelance for a local newspaper, write SEO and web content for various websites and am the Administrative Editor of the WM Review Connection and a Contributing editor for the WM Freelance Writers' website. I also contribute to five blogs weekly and coordinate blog tours for two romance blogs. All in all, I don't have time for another career but I do substitute teach when needed.
I knew I wanted to be a writer during my freshman year of high school. I fell in love with writing during English class when we were asked to write a short story. I dove in, wrote to my heart's desire and never looked back.
My first official and paying writing gig was back in 1999, when I was a freelance writer for a local newspaper. Since then I have worked for four different publications.
What is your personal favorite of all the writing you've done? Or do you like everything the same?
My personal favorite would have to be Crape Myrtle my first published book. I spent about five years writing, editing and trying to sell the book. I developed a relationship with the characters, rooted for their love and finally felt sadness when their story was complete.
For the last bit, I'd like to ask what's next for you? Do you have any new books, or stories in the works? (I know you do, but people reading this might not.) Feel free to tell us about anything you'd like, and whatever you're doing now, or in the future!
I'm currently editing When We Meet Again, I have a collection of short erotic stories for adults that I'm always dabbling with in my down time and I just started a new novel about a call-in radio sex therapist and her menagerie of callers with sex issues. This one has humor and is real fun. And finally, I'm collaborating with a friend and fellow writer, Robert Wacaster, on a novel set in 1944 about two high school friends and their long distance love. This is where Robert can fill in the storyline if he wants. I'm real excited about this book and I've never collaborated before so this is real new territory for me.
Crape Myrtle July 2009
On Her Own- July 2009
When We Meet Again- Valentines' Day 2011
Room 11- February 2011
Rachel's Desire- March 2011
Ok...so she's going to throw the ball back in my court? I guess I can spill a bit. Yes, Dawne and I did decide to work together on a novel. It's set in 1944 and is about a boy and girl who had feelings for each other in high school. After graduation, the boy leaves for the army and World War 2 while she stays back in Detroit and ends up doing a "Rosy the Riveter" thing in a factory. Will she stay loyal to him, or will she find another, closer love while at home and far away from him?
This book raises a few challenges for both of us. We had agreed on trying to make the book as historically correct as we can, which is going to take a LOT of research! On my side, as I write about the male character (Sam Benson) I want to make certain I write about him going to boot camp at the correct base. I want to make certain he received his training in the correct places, and most important of all, I want to make certain he ends up in a unit that actually served in Europe, and is in the same places the unit actually was. Yes, I could make all this stuff up myself, but we decided we didn't want to do that. The book will still be fiction, it'll just have realistic overtones.
For Dawne, she's decided she wants to take her research into the factories that were back in Detroit in 1944. She's already caught me once on the language used back in the 40's, and expects me to keep the 1940's slang. (A research project in itself!) She wants to look into hairstyles, clothing, where people went, what they did...I had thought her part of the book might be easier than mine, but I guess not! She's going to be putting in a ton of work, too! And we don't even have a title yet! But since books take months, if not years to write, I think we have time.
I really want to thank Dawne for letting me interview her today, and for giving me this upcoming chance to collaborate with her. She's quite a talented woman, and I'm thrilled to work with her!
Thanks, Dawne.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Writing for free money...or just for free.
I've been on "vacation" the last week or so, and really didn't do anything. Well, I accomplished a little bit. I wrote a bit and actually finished reading a book so I could put out a semi-intelligent review. I'm not one of those maniac critics who will rip a book apart, so my reviews are usually fairly simple. Either I like your book, or I fake my way through the review. Ha ha. Actually, since reviewing things isn't my "real job" I usually only read books I want to read, and so usually give pretty good reviews. I can't imagine reading a someone's book and then ranting and raving about how bad it was. If I didn't like the book, why would I read it?
People think that if you write a book now a days, you're suddenly a millionaire. If you write a book, you can just quit your job and live the life of luxury! Fabulous! Not quite so. Most of the writers I know are broke. Well, not broke, but we don't make a ton of money from our writing. We actually have to have real jobs to get by. And honestly, I think that's one of the things that makes a good writer. I know that probably sounds stupid. But if you're writing just for money, you aren't going to succeed. If you're writing because you like it, because you like your own stories, that's when the quality comes out.
Take a look at two of my favorite writers. They're both probably way more popular than I am. First is Katie Salidas. The book I just finished and reviewed is her first novel. It starts a series called "Immortalis." It's a vampire book. Katie's also a hustler. Not in the bad sense, but I mean she gets out there and pushes her books! She does book signings, and giveaways, and writes her own blog! (Only her first book is out in real book form, most of her writing is on Kindle and that kind of thing.) She's out there! And believe it, or not, after reading her first book I think she's created a fantastic series! I mean HBO worthy series! After seeing some of the crap that's been in the theaters, and on pay television lately, she's much better! Will she be signing a deal with HBO soon? Showtime? Cinemax? Probably not. She's an unknown just like me. That doesn't mean she isn't loaded with talent. Is she rich from all the writing she's done? I doubt it. But still she keeps writing, keeps the world she's created alive. I'm proud of her!
Katie helps out a lot of other authors by interviewing them on her blog. http://myimmortalstories.blogspot.com/ I'm learning pretty quickly that there are quite a few independent authors out there willing to help each other out. Check out her blog, and read her books. She's good!
The other author I really like is Steve Morris. He's English. That means he lives in England. He's a teacher, and a much more popular author than I am. He's been in the papers over there in the U.K! (That stands for the United Kingdom, if you weren't sure. Yes, England.) But does he make enough money to quit teaching and just tour the world signing his books? No. He's not an independent author, though. He does have a publisher. But still, that doesn't mean he's raking in the dollars...or pounds, or whatever. He writes because he likes to write. I've swapped books with him, and he really loved the military book I wrote called Frigate: November. Don't worry if you haven't heard of it, not too many people have read it. I enjoyed writing it though, and that's what counts. I read and reviewed his first book called "In All Probability." It was a book of short stories. Good short stories! He's sent me his newest book called "Jumble Tales" to read and review now. I've had it a couple of months and haven't gotten to it yet. I had Katie's book and another couple ahead of his. But I'll read it now, almost certain I'll love it! He's got a great talent for writing stories with the twist ending.
So there you have it! Me and two other authors that have books out there. We aren't rich, we aren't celebrities, but we are writers. And one day one of us, or all of us may actually be famous. And if it ever happens to me, if I ever sell a few million books, or sign a lucrative tv, or movie deal, I think I'll still miss the days when I was trying to type just one, or two more sentences before I had to go to work. I'll miss the days when I wrote just because I liked writing.
Support independent writers, unknowns, and see how much talent really is out there!
People think that if you write a book now a days, you're suddenly a millionaire. If you write a book, you can just quit your job and live the life of luxury! Fabulous! Not quite so. Most of the writers I know are broke. Well, not broke, but we don't make a ton of money from our writing. We actually have to have real jobs to get by. And honestly, I think that's one of the things that makes a good writer. I know that probably sounds stupid. But if you're writing just for money, you aren't going to succeed. If you're writing because you like it, because you like your own stories, that's when the quality comes out.
Take a look at two of my favorite writers. They're both probably way more popular than I am. First is Katie Salidas. The book I just finished and reviewed is her first novel. It starts a series called "Immortalis." It's a vampire book. Katie's also a hustler. Not in the bad sense, but I mean she gets out there and pushes her books! She does book signings, and giveaways, and writes her own blog! (Only her first book is out in real book form, most of her writing is on Kindle and that kind of thing.) She's out there! And believe it, or not, after reading her first book I think she's created a fantastic series! I mean HBO worthy series! After seeing some of the crap that's been in the theaters, and on pay television lately, she's much better! Will she be signing a deal with HBO soon? Showtime? Cinemax? Probably not. She's an unknown just like me. That doesn't mean she isn't loaded with talent. Is she rich from all the writing she's done? I doubt it. But still she keeps writing, keeps the world she's created alive. I'm proud of her!
I met Katie in person and she signed a neat promo card for me. She even gave a shot at getting me to get some of my books together and head to a book signing. She gave me a few hints on how to hustle, too. Very intelligent woman. I'm pretty lazy though, and just keep writing. Maybe someday I'll hustle, or maybe I'll just keep writing and my stuff can become best seller after I die.
The other author I really like is Steve Morris. He's English. That means he lives in England. He's a teacher, and a much more popular author than I am. He's been in the papers over there in the U.K! (That stands for the United Kingdom, if you weren't sure. Yes, England.) But does he make enough money to quit teaching and just tour the world signing his books? No. He's not an independent author, though. He does have a publisher. But still, that doesn't mean he's raking in the dollars...or pounds, or whatever. He writes because he likes to write. I've swapped books with him, and he really loved the military book I wrote called Frigate: November. Don't worry if you haven't heard of it, not too many people have read it. I enjoyed writing it though, and that's what counts. I read and reviewed his first book called "In All Probability." It was a book of short stories. Good short stories! He's sent me his newest book called "Jumble Tales" to read and review now. I've had it a couple of months and haven't gotten to it yet. I had Katie's book and another couple ahead of his. But I'll read it now, almost certain I'll love it! He's got a great talent for writing stories with the twist ending.
So there you have it! Me and two other authors that have books out there. We aren't rich, we aren't celebrities, but we are writers. And one day one of us, or all of us may actually be famous. And if it ever happens to me, if I ever sell a few million books, or sign a lucrative tv, or movie deal, I think I'll still miss the days when I was trying to type just one, or two more sentences before I had to go to work. I'll miss the days when I wrote just because I liked writing.
Support independent writers, unknowns, and see how much talent really is out there!
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