Welcome to 2014
It's finally 2014 and I'm looking forward to a good year! I've got a few things planned and have a bright outlook for things that are coming up. On the other hand, 2013 wasn't a very good year for me. It wasn't that good of a year for a few other people either. Let's take a look at some of the really bad things that happened back in 2013.
To start off 2014 a woman decided she wanted to have sex with a dog. This became news I guess. Why was this news? Who knows? But it did happen, and it happened here in fabulous Las Vegas! Was the dog pressing charges? Somehow I don't think the dog was objecting if he wasn't biting the girl. Although looking at her picture, she's pretty nasty looking. Talk about having sex with a real dog...uh...ok, I'll leave this alone now.
Let's go back to 1999 for a bit. People wanted to party like it's 1999 on New Year's Eve that year. That meant doing the stupidest thing you could think of, I guess. One guy decided to climb a light pole so he could...he wanted to...ok, I'm not sure what this idiot wanted to do. He touched a live wire and electrocuted himself on live television. I remember watching this. They had him on camera and I watched as he fell off the light pole and hit the ground surrounded by hundreds, maybe even thousands of people. And since this was New Year's Eve on the Las Vegas Strip, there were a lot of cameras watching the scene. Helicopters were flying overhead to watch the crowds and they of course zoomed in on the body. Now when something like this happens, they can't move the body until everything is "investigated" and the person is declared "dead". With the huge amount of people in the area, no one could get in there and declare him dead I guess. So the police put up a few barricades and then covered the idiot with a sheet. Well most of him. I think his legs and feet were sticking out from under the sheet. And every once in a while someone would rush past the barricades to poke or touch the body. Then the police would grab this new person and put them in a nearby transport to be arrested later. How nice, huh? I'll always remember watching this.
Back to the end of 2013! Here's a guy who thought it would be cool to zoom around on a motorcycle. You can't die while driving one of those, can you? Actually, you can. Even if you drive sensibly and mind the road around you, a car can easily ram into you and kill you. Motorcycles can be dangerous things! That didn't happen in this case. The guy riding the motorbike didn't think and went too fast to control it. A lovely death on December 30 just before the new year. So we didn't have to wait for this genius to climb a light pole and be electrocuted, he died before the new year even arrived.
But you don't even have to drive yourself around in Las Vegas if you're a celebrity, right? Just ask Darren Jay Ashba from the band Guns N Roses. He took his girlfriend on a ride in a police helicopter and then proposed to her. It was a fabulous tour over Las Vegas that was paid for by city tax dollars. We don't need to pay for police to take care of dead idiots electrocuted after climbing light poles, or motorcycle accidents that end in death. We can just spend our tax dollars on flying celebrities around for free! Notice that after the "investigation" nothing was said about Ashba at all. I guess no one thought about charging him for the helicopter ride. Let's just blame the corrupt cops. At least blame the one cop still working, the "captain" retired and got off scot free. So more tax dollars were spent for an "investigation" that really didn't accomplish anything after spending tax dollars to give a "celebrity" a private helicopter ride in a police helicopter. Ah to be rich and famous!
Since the police were all tied up flying celebrities around in 2013, you could just shoot someone who aggravated you in traffic. They catch you a few days later, but that doesn't prevent the shooting, does it? "A heavyset black female" got mad, got out of her car in traffic and then shot a person in another car. Then she and a guy with "no known address" fled the scene. Doesn't "no known address" mean homeless? Oh well, that doesn't matter, they were from California and had an illegal gun and shot someone. But that's ok because the Guns N Roses guy got his free flight in the police helicopter!
So now the "heavyset black female" is in jail. They at least keep track of you in the jails here, right? Or maybe not. A woman who had been in jail since December 10, 2013 was found hanged. So what was she hanged with? And why did the coroner's office have to identify her? They don't know who the people are being kept in the jails? And was she just hanging in her cell since December 10? What the hell? I guess the people in charge of the jail were too busy listening to Guns N Roses music to pay any attention to what was going on in the jail. And they ruled this a "suicide"! Good job! I wonder how long an investigation it took to come to that conclusion? Tax dollars again well spent! Maybe they should have taken the dead body on a police helicopter tour of Las Vegas while the "investigation" was ongoing?
This is all real news, folks. Maybe we need time for some lunch? Let's get a burger. How about something from In N Out Burger? That's a great place to eat! Even if you've just kidnapped your ex-girlfriend and were beating on her while driving from California, there's always time to go through the In N Out drive-thru after she escapes. No, I'm not making this up. This idiot kidnapped his ex-girlfriend in California, drove to Sparks, Nevada (No, I don't know where this is either.), and when she ended up escaping at an In N Out Burger restaurant, he decided to go through the drive-thru and order some food. No police helicopter ride for this rocket scientist!
Let's end 2013 with a crooked judge. I mean why not, right? The "ex-prosecutor" this "judge" was supposedly sleeping with is now dead. She died in a bathroom, but no one seems to know what killed her. Ah well, it doesn't really matter, does it? The judge she was "involved" with was indicted over a three million dollar investment scheme, but was still allowed to collect his "$200,000 annual salary" since then. So even if you run "schemes" and engage in "misconduct" as a judge, you can still get paid here. He needs a police helicopter ride, too. Although he really isn't a celebrity. And he's obviously collecting enough tax dollars while running "schemes". I guess we don't need to waste more money on him. He'll waste enough tax dollars on his own.
So there we go! Those are a few highlights from 2013 (and one from 1999). None of this even goes into any of the personal problems I've had, but then most of my problems seem pretty small if you compare them to this kind of crap. I'm looking forward to 2014. Maybe if I'm lucky, I can get myself a ride in a police helicopter? I'll have to work on my celebrity status first, though.