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Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Nascar Traffic

     NASCAR is in Las Vegas this week.  I don't care for racing.  Yes, I know a few people who go to the race and party in the parking lot, and drink beer and see the sites, and then watch the cars zoom by.  They pay money for headphones so they can hear what the drivers say while they're racing.  I wonder if it's really worth money to hear some guy scream profanity after another guy rams his car?  They tell me it's not "ramming" though, it's rubbing.  And rubbing is racing!  Hooray!

     Kind of like racing through Las Vegas traffic normally, right?  Were you ever on the road and suddenly hear a siren?  An ambulance is coming up behind you with its lights flashing, and siren wailing away?  You pull over to the side of the road and let them pass, right?  WRONG!  Not in Vegas you don't!  The idiots here don't even want to pull over for the police, you think they'll pull over for an ambulance?  Here's some three day weekend traffic:

     The paramedics can get through this, right?  Ask that question again when someone is having a heart attack.  Is there somewhere I can rent some headphones to listen to the drivers scream profanity when an ambulance tries to get by them?  oh wait, I don't need headphones, the idiots here just yell out their car windows so I can hear them!

"Turn that fucking siren off, I can't hear my music!"

     Music is much more important than a heart attack, right?  Where was I?  Oh, NASCAR, right.  These guys come once a year and fill the town up with NASCAR people.  They're ok, I guess.  No worse than any normal tourists, right?  And they don't really block off any roads, do they?

     Ok, they do tour down the Strip.  But it's only for a little while!  Cars and the trucks that haul them drive down the Strip so everyone can see them.  And they pull over for the paramedics to get buy if they have to, right?  Or not, who cares?  At least they're careful and respectful while they're here.  I mean, they aren't destroying anything that my tax dollars pay for, are they?

     Uh, nice.  Road repairs are free after someone tears them up burning their tires off, right?  And if they aren't, who cares?  Car #48 RULES!  I mean watching this, it's not like I'm going to hope this guy wrecks during his race, right?  Ok, yes, I'm probably going to hope he wrecks and destroys his car.  But let's move beyond what they do on the Strip.  

     If I actually went to the race, I'd want to root for the people that come in last.  The real idiots.  I want to root for the people driving in the race who shouldn't even be driving on a normal roadway!  And they're out there, believe me!  I want to root for the guy who ends up like this after two laps:

     Go car #38!  I don't know who's inside it, and I don't really care either, but how can you not love car acrobatics?  Hooray!  He might not finish the race, and will probably eat out of a tube for a few weeks, but he can still say he drove (and wrecked) in a NASCAR race!

     Obviously I don't like racing much.  I'm sure it' to...I'm sure...these people aren't actually at the race, are they?

     They are?  And I can have my picture taken with them?  Maybe I'd better reconsider going to a race next year?  I need a picture with these people.  I'll make sure I'm wearing my car #38 jacket.  I know someone else who has a NASCAR M&M jacket.  I wonder if she'll read this?  *chuckle*

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