Books and things for the literate

     If you've figured it out, I've written a couple of books.  Ok, I've written 6 so far.  All of them are for sale on Amazon.com, and some of them even on the Kindle.  (I think that's some electronic kind of thing made by elves.  Some kind of magic book thing.)  Even though I write, I do read books.  How odd, right?  I love books and they take you to other worlds.  So for today, I thought I'd do a review of a book I've read, one I'm reading right now, one I will be reading, and shove one of mine in there somewhere, too.  And off we go!

     The first book was written by a friend of mine, Steve Morris.  He's English.  He's also a teacher, and a damned good writer!  His first book was a book of short stories called "In All Probability."  Look the book up on Amazon, it's pretty good!  My favorite story is the first one.  It's about a guy who kills a dictator in another country with a rock.  There's more to the story obviously, but that's the gist of it.  And they go on from there.  This is actually a great book!  Not only are the stories fantastic, but all of them are short enough to read in just a few minutes.  So you don't get bogged down in some huge plotline, or stuck in the middle of some 80 page chapter when the doctor calls you out of the waiting room for your prostate exam.  (Was that rude?  I can never tell.)  A camera that photgraphs ghosts, a man who lives a completely other life when he sleeps...or is his waking life the dream life?  A society that is perpetually happy, the stories get better and better as they go on!  A great read, and a book I highly recommend everyone pick up!



What's next on my shelf?  Well, that would be the book that I'm currently reading.  It's called "God does have a sense of humor."  It's by active duty Naval Officer Rob Ballister.  I'm about half way done with this one, but I can tell you I absolutely love it!  It's a collection of I guess you would call them essays?  He wrote these things as he grew up through life, and they're chaotic, insane, and hilarious.  In some ways, they remind me of my own blogs, except they aren't about Las Vegas.  It's great writing, and I can promise him a shining review as soon as I'm finished.  If you've ever wondered if a Naval engineer can put together a gingerbread house, read this.  Rob seems to have no luck with women, furnature, gingerbread houses, doctors, or anything else.  Each essay left me wanting to read the next one!  Very good book so far!

          Next is the book I'm waiting to read.  It should be on it's way to me shortly.  It's a "fairy tale" called Cinders.  It's about how unhappy Cinderella was after she got married, I guess.  I love the sound of this one!  It's always fun to read about how a fairy tale went wrong after the "happily ever after" end.  The Fairy Godmother is locked up?  The Prince is now loveless?  Wow, sounds neat to me!  I can't wait to read it! 

     Ok, and last, but certainly not least, one of my books.  This one is called "A Writer's Engagement."  I guess a few people have read this one, but I don't have any reviews of it up on Amazon.com.  Nobody's reviewing it!  Shame on you people!  You tell me it's really good, but don't review it for me!  It's the second one in a series of books about a guy and a girl, how they fall in love, and in this one, how they get engaged.  So, if you've actually read this, or IF you end up reading it, I'd love a review.  THANK YOU!  If you like soap opera type stuff, this is the book for you.  Mushy parts, relationship parts, he loves her, she loves him, on and on.  It'll be continued in the book "A Writer's Wedding" that I'm working on now.  So take a look, and read one or all of these books.  All quality stories!

     And, just for the hell of it, here's the promotional video for my newest book, "Terminating Vegas."  Enjoy.

Mad Man Matthew Promotions...wow.

     As you might know, I'm a writer.  I've written and put out a few books, but if you go way back to when I wrote my first one, there are some really funny stories.  One of the best ones, is about my friend Matthew.  Or as I've refered to him in blogs before:  Chinstrap.

     My first book was called "Adventures in Casino Security."  It followed one particular security officer around for a week and showed the things he had to deal with.  Matthew loved the book.  Maybe because it was good, or maybe because his friend had written it, or maybe just because he was represented as a character in the book, I don't know.  But, through several agreements (One of which was me promising to use him as my personal body guard after I was a millionaire) Matthew decided to promote my book for me.  Back then I didn't know much about promotion, and Matthew knew even less, I think.  But not knowing something has never stopped him.  He gets his way, period.  So he takes a few copies of my book and decides on a written media blitz.  In other words, he'll push the book on some magazines published here in Las Vegas, and maybe a couple in California.



     He decides he wants the book promoted in a magazine here called "Las Vegas Weekly."  He finds the office where the magazine is published and takes a drive over.  He can actually clean up really well, wear a tie and jacket, and look very mature and business like!  Looks can be deceiving.  He shows up at the office all dressed up, looks professional, and asks nicely to speak to the editor.  After a short wait, he is led into the edtor's office.  Matthew explains to the editor about how his friend has just put out a new book, shows the editor the copy of the book, and asks nicely for a review, or maybe just a short article about it to be in Las Vegas Weekly.  The editor thanks Matthew, tells him he'll "take a look when he gets time" and puts the book under a huge stack of papers.  Matthew doesn't like this, but leaves politely...for that day.

     The next day, Matthew goes back to the office and again asks to see the editor.  After a brief wait, he is escorted into the office, and points to the book, still under the stack of papers.  "Have you read it yet?" he asks.  "Uh, not yet, but we'll get to it."  He is told.  Matthew leaves and goes home.  Once he's back at home, he calls the editor on the phone to ask when the article is coming out.  He's again told that they haven't gotten to the book yet.  Matthew, trying not to get upset tells the editor, "Take the book out from under all of those papers, and put it on top!"  The editor politely says he'll move the book up, and will get to it.  Is Matt done?  A normal, mortal man might be done, but not Matthew.

     The next morning when he wakes up, he calls the Las Vegas Weekly office again.  This time, the editor agrees to give the book to a "staff reporter" and have something done with it.  Matt agrees and hangs up...only to call back around noon and see if the book has been given to a reporter yet.  He's now becoming obsessed with getting my book into Las Vegas Weekly.  He will NOT be blown off!  He's given a few other books to a few other places, but is completely focused on Las Vegas Weekly.  Every day now, he either calls them 10 times a day, either demanding the "staff reporter's name" or he shows up at their office, wanting to know when an article about the book is coming out!  Finally, the editor allows him into his office for a "talk."  He tells Matt that as I'm a new, "self published" writer, and don't even have any reviews of the book yet, it's hard to find space for it in the magazine.  He tells Matt "It's quality writing, but you have to understand we only have so much space each week."

     When Matt tells me what the editor said, I'm really thrilled.  A professional editor said my writing was "quality writing!"  I'm ecstatic!  Matthew is not.  He continues to call the office and show up almost every day, he will not leave these people alone!  You don't tell Matthew no.  You simply DON'T!  I'm not sure he even knows what no means. 

     And guess what?  If you bother people enough, they'll sometimes do just about anything you want just to get rid of you.  Finally, one day as Matthew is showing up at the office, the editor comes out and tells him a small article about Adventures in Casino Security will be in the next issue of Las Vegas Weekly.  Matt calls me and lets me know.  He tells me to make certain and get a bunch of copies!  That shouldn't be hard, it's a free publication.  I pick a few up, and sure enough, there is a small article called "Excerpts from Adventures in Casino Security."  It had four quotes from the book, and listed it as for sale for $15 on amazon.com.

I'm proud of Matthew.

The Teriffic Twos

     I've written about going to see the Shark Reef at Manadalay Bay with Matt and his daughter Bei Lei.  This week, I was invited to go to a place called the "Adventuredome" with them.  Matt, Bei Lei and Kim and Allen.  Two adults (You would think) and three kids.  Adventuredome is kind of like a mini theme park.  For me, it was a place to see a two year old go wild.  Things didn't turn out exactly like I thought they would, but it was still a really fun trip!

So good ol' Chinstrap picks me up and we head out.  I don't really want to ride on anything, so I don't really spend any money.  Matt buys wristbands for all the kids though, so they can ride.  He then instructs the kid who's sold him the wristband to place it on the wriggling, squirming, two year old.  You can see how her arm is blurry, two year olds don't stay still, even for wristbands.

Bei Lei begins to explore the dome.  She's having a ball!  She's a busy little kid and doesn't stay in one place for more than about a half a second.  We find a wall with a frog painted on it and I show it to her.  I ask her to stand in front of the frog wall so I can take her picture.  She goes over to the frog wall for half a second and then leaves.  Since my camera doesn't work in half second bursts, I miss the picture.  I ask again and get another half second.  Finally, Matt gets her to stand next to him for a picture for a good three seconds and I actually get a good shot!

Matt puts her on a few kiddie rides, and she's having a blast!  Two year olds having fun are always great to watch!  I'm waiting for the tantrum.  I can't wait to see him try to take her out of here when she's having fun!  He decides we need to eat eventually, and I figure she'll go nuts as we walk out.  As we near the exit, she's looking around, not wanting to leave.  I think what the hell, let's try like Matt does and just talk to her like an adult.  So I tell her we're going to eat, and then we'll come back.  Bei Lei smiles and says "Ok."

     I'm shocked.  She's being more reasonable than most adults I know!  Is this really a two year old kid?  We find a little pizza restaurant and Matt orders us some pizza.  He also gets us some drinks and then gives little Bei Lei some Pepsi.  I like Pepsi.  It's full of sugar and caffine.  Wait...sugar and caffine?

     She slurps it right down.  He gives her more.  She slurps it down.  He gives her more.  Now she's wired!  Now she's fun to watch!  Matt has filled his two year old full of sugar and caffine and she's chatting with me from across the table.  I have no idea what the hell she's saying because I can't really hear her, but she's having a great time!  WIRED!

     She begins to bounce around the booth.  He tries to get her to sit down and eat, but she's bouncing, and bouncing.  She's on the floor, she's on her brother, she's on Matt.  WIRED!  MORE PEPSI!  I tell Matt that when you give a two year old Pepsi, it's filled with sugar and caffine and they go nuts.  He just says, "It's what she wants."  Now, laughing away, I'm happy to watch her.  She pulls off the wristband.  Matt puts it back on.  She pulls it off, he puts it back on.  She pulls it off, and finally he leaves it off and sets it on the table.  We finish eating and head back for more rides.  As we reach the dome, Matt realizes Bei Lei isn't wearing her wristband anymore.  It was left on the table.  I walk back, but the table has been cleaned off.  He decides he'll just go and argue with someone and get her another wristband.  He finds some 20 year old kid in the dome and begins to argue about getting another wristband.  Meanwhile, Bei Lei is rolling on the floor, looking up at the top of the dome, and running here and there, still wired.  Matt argues and argues with this kid, but he won't give out another wrist band.  The wired two year old may bankrupt the company by going on a couple more rides.  After fighting and agruing for a while, the kid finally gives Matt four tickets for four more free rides for Bei Lei.  We discover that when we go to take her on rides, the attendants don't even ask for the ticktes.  They obviously see she's wired and don't want to get in her way!  They just let her on.  When you see someone who is two feet tall banging on a gate, I guess you just let them in!

     One pigtail has come loose and hair is everywhere on her!  She's happy and running around and bouncing onto rides!  Wahoo!  I can't wait for the tantrum when we leave!  This should be a great one!  A screaming, sugar and caffine filled child, yelling and screaming as Matt tries to drag her away from the rides!  *chuckle* I can't WAIT!  I ended up disapointed.  After a few more rides, Matt takes her hand and says "Ok, it's time to go now."  She says "Ok" and takes his hand.  We walk out towards the car and I figure maybe she didn't understand he meant leave the dome.  She'll scream when he puts her in the car seat.  I'm still disapointed, but actually really impressed!  She's quiet and happy when he puts her in the car seat!  I turn around from my seat and ask her, "Did you have a good time tonight, Bei Lei?"  She answers "Yes."

     So, I didn't get a tantrum tonight, but that's ok.  I get to see plenty of adults at work throw tantrums.  I did have a great time with the kids, though.  I suggested to Matt that we take them to "Build a Bear" next time and spend several hundred dollars buying underwear for a stuffed animal.  I'm not sure he liked that idea. 

The Steam

Because someone asked me about "butt prints on a window."  I don't think that's in the blog, but this is the trip it happened on.  And since this is Matthew"s (Chinstrap) favorite blog, I thought I'd post it again here.  (It's also in my blog book, Vegas Ramblings!)

The Steam


On Monday a friend and I decided we needed to blow off some steam. What does this mean? Well, for us it meant we made reservations in a casino/hotel in Laughlin, Nevada. We went there thinking it would be a nice room, maybe a nice Jacuzzi tub to sit in, gamble a bit and just relax. We had rented the best suite a hotel called the "Aquarius" would let us have and made the 100 mile drive from Vegas thinking things would be fun! Well, when things get off to a bad start, they sometimes go from bad to worse.

I was supposed to pick my friend up at his house. I don't like cell phones much, but I have a little MPA that I can send text messages from. So, after work I took a little nap so I would be rested for the drive and sent him a text message. No answer. What the hell, he can't answer me? I sent a few more as I got gas for the trip. Nothing. I drove over to his house, but his truck was gone and nobody answered the door! How dare he do this to me! I located someone else's cell phone and called him up. He answered and said he didn't get the text messages I had sent. I drove back to his house and this time found him, and off we went to Laughlin.

To keep things anonymous and confusing I'll call my friend "Chinstrap." Chinstrap couldn't understand why he didn't get the text messages and so called the cell phone company on the drive to Laughlin. He argued with somebody for 50 miles of the drive! All the way to a place called Searchlight, Nevada! As I stopped in Searchlight to pee and take a nice break he continued to argue on the phone for at least a half hour more. The argument stopped after I got back on the road and was so far out in the desert that no communication signals were receivable at all.

As we pulled into Laughlin, Chinstrap started to scream about how hot it was! "Oh the heat!" He kept crying, "It's killing me!" He then produced a fly swatter which he began waving around. I parked in the Aquarius garage and listened to Chinstrap cry on the short walk inside about the heat. He then became upset in the casino when he didn't see anyone under the age of about 80. We walked up to the front desk and the clerk asked if he could help us. Chinstrap smacked him in the face with the flyswatter. I asked Chinstrap, "Did you get it?" and he answered "Get what?"

The clerk was a good sport and checked us in and gave us the keys to our "suite." It was on the third floor in a building that you supposedly had to be at least 21 years of age to enter. Why? I never figured that out, but it was written on all the entry doors. As we entered our room we couldn't wait to check out the view! We walked inside and slung open the row of curtains to see.....a wall. And not just a wall, but a filthy wall. We were staying in a suite with a view of a filthy wall. Chinstrap immediately picked up the phone and called housekeeping to demand more towels.

If you didn't mind the view of the wall, the room was pretty nice. It had a nice kitchenette and a separate bedroom with two beds inside. There wasn't a Jacuzzi though, just a small bathtub/shower combo in a small bathroom. We unloaded our small overnight bags and decided to drive across the river to Arizona and a local Walmart to get some supplies. On the drive we were surprised to see a homeless man alongside the road wearing only a burlap sack. Chinstrap almost fell out of the car trying to get out his camera. Unfortunately he didn't get it out in time. He kept screaming, "I'm an educated man, but I wouldn't even know where to find a burlap sack like that!"

Once inside Walmart we proceeded to pick out snacks and things to munch on for our short trip. As we walked through the store I heard Chinstrap say to one woman, "No amount of cuetips will help you, lady." Another woman said, "Oh, I must be in the wrong aisle!" Chinstrap replied to her, "Wrong aisle? Try the wrong planet, honey!" I decided it was time to speed up getting the snacks and go back to the hotel.

Upon returning to the hotel Chinstrap again called for more towels. This time he also asked for more pillows, three more bathmats, more shampoo, and two more tv remote controls. Housekeeping happily brought everything up and I piled it all in a corner of the room. After stowing our supplies we decided to check out a couple of the other local casinos. On our way out Chinstrap stopped at a bar and got himself a shot of whiskey and a beer. We walked outside and headed for a hotel next door called the Riverside and for the entire walk Chinstrap waved around his flyswatter and screamed not only about the heat, but also about how he didn't like the way Laughlin smelled. We entered the Riverside and once again there wasn't anyone under about 80 years old. Chinstrap was once again upset about this. He went over to one of the bars and got another shot of whiskey and a beer. We decided to move on to another casino to see if there were maybe younger people somewhere else.

We came across a dump called Edgewater. As we went inside, Chinstrap was actually behaving. We walked up to a bar and ordered drinks (Pepsi for me and whiskey and a beer for Chinstrap), however before we were served a security guard came up and asked what the flyswatter was. Chinstrap looked at me and I looked at the guard and I told him it was a Cheese factory. The guard asked where I was staying, but before I could answer, Chinstrap yelled out, "Hey! Where can I get a burlap sack to wear? You people have incredible fashion sense!" The guard looked confused and again asked where we were staying. I answered, "We're staying at the Cheese Factory, of course!" We were then asked to leave. On the way out Chinstrap kept asking people where the Burlap Sack Store was. Upset at being asked to leave somewhere just because Chinstrap was carrying a flyswatter, we went back to our hotel room. On the way to the room Chinstrap got another whiskey shot and another beer from our hotel bar. Once at the room I took my turn and called housekeeping for more towels, a few more bathmats and four more pillows.

The room didn't seem as cool as we would like it, so Chinstrap called the front desk and asked for someone to come to the suite to check the air conditioning. He then called housekeeping for more towels, more bathmats, and several more pillows. The pile in the corner was becoming quite large! Chinstrap also called for a bellman. I asked him why and he screamed "I demand to know where the Burlap Sack Store is!" He was becoming quite drunk. An engineer showed up to check the air conditioner and actually told us that part of it had been disabled! She said she had fixed it and it should cool down shortly. Chinstrap then began screaming lines from Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas at her. "That man is my attorney!" he yelled, "And despite his racial handicap..." The engineer hurried out of the room before he could finish. He then called housekeeping for more towels and also asked if they had any burlap towels.

At about 3 A.M. Chinstrap decided he wanted to go back to the casino. I could gamble a bit while I kept my eye on Chinstrap who was now extremely intoxicated. We went to a bar in the center of the hotel and he ordered more whiskey and more beer. We were playing the poker machines at the bar so the bartender didn't charge us for the drinks. Then Chinstrap saw a slot tech girl that actually looked young! He hurried over to chat with her. I watched from the bar and after a minute or so of him waving around his flyswatter, I walked a bit closer to see if I could hear what he was saying to her. I got near them just in time to hear him ask her if she could send up more towels to our room. I coaxed him away from her and we went back up to the room to find a pile of delivered towels sitting outside our door.

Now Chinstrap decided he would actually take a shower. After the shower he started screaming at me from the bathroom to order more towels because he had flooded the bathroom. He told me the shower curtain kept touching him and so he had it hanging on the outside of the tub instead of inside it. Hence water went down the curtains and onto the bathroom floor. I called housekeeping and asked for more towels and several more bathmats and a few more pillows. Also a couple more tv remotes just to be safe.

All in all it wasn't a bad trip. Chinstrap told me when he got home he was going to call the hotel and complain about the view of the wall, but one thing he can't complain about would be the service. If you like towels and are in Laughlin, stay at the Aquarius. If nothing else, the service there is wonderful! I think the final count of things we had sent up was something like 22 pillows, 45 towels, 18 bathmats, 6 tv remote controls, an engineer and a partridge in a pear tree!

I have much less steam now. Everyone should blow off steam.

Scaryangle Filmstars

What scares you?  Creatures of the night?  Ghosts?  Maybe little creaks and sounds that people tell you mean a house is "settling?"  What if it's not the house?  What if it's a ghost, or restless spirit?  Scaryangle is preparing to show you the other side.  Or at least as much of it as we can find.  Feel free to become a friend, or even click the "like" button for the facebook page.  We'll be filming soon, and posting on youtube and who knows where else?  One day, you might even see a Scaryangle production in your local theater.  Probably a haunted one. 

http://www.facebook.com/search/?q=Denise+Verrico&init=quick&sid=0.4157091591319192#!/profile.php?id=100001485743903&ref=ts

As an author, what frightens me?  I'm not sure.  Have I run from some scary sound in the night before?  Of course, who hasn't?  I can remember playing a game years ago called "Resident Evil 2."  It had a lot of zombies in it and I would play it late at night.  Then, creeping slowly out to the kitchen to get something to drink for a break I would be scared to death, certain a zombie was going to grab me around the next corner!  Was that just nonsense?  Maybe, but keep in mind people who believe in the voodoo religion believe zombies are real.  It's something to look into...or not, if zombies scare the hell out of you!

How about vampires?  Real?  Maybe not.  Can we be sure about that, though?  They exist in our minds.  Take author Katie Salidas for example; she believes in vampires.  Or at least, she writes about them.  They exist in her mind.  And if her mind can give them a reality, how can you be certain that reality won't somehow creep into our reality?  They might be out there, and coming for you!  Read her books and decide for yourself if you believe:

http://www.amazon.com/House-of-Immortal-Pleasures-ebook/dp/B003NSBSVG/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=books&qid=1275288064&sr=1-2

A romance, you say?  Perhaps, but one where people are bitten, and blood flows!  How about werewolves?  Those furry, little shapeshifters who prowl the night.  Have you seen "American Werewolf in London?"  Could that really happen?  Who knows?  You might say no, but what if there were werewolves who had come from another planet?  What if they were just shapechangers who hid in our society because they were hunted?  After a bit of cross breeding with our species, who would they ulitmately become?  Monsters of the night, or a creature on the run?  Things can sometimes get blown out of proportion.  Ask Ami Blackwelder.  She'll tell you about "The Hunted of 2060."

https://www.createspace.com/3446561

The world is full of ectoplasms, octoplasms, tv plasmas, horror, humor, and everything in between.  What will Scaryangle find when we go out looking for the unknown?  Will we one day find more than we bargain for?  Find out when things come together.  Filming will begin shortly.  Join us and follow us into the unknown.  For knowledge, for adventure...or maybe just for a good scare, let us show you the Scaryangle on things!

Robert Wacaster

Official Scaryangle Documenter

Read the blog and go beyond the videos!

Ruined Vegas

     Vegas used to be the place to go.  It used to be hot, it used to be fun, it used to be fantastic!  Now, it's been ruined.  People can ruin anything.  A lot of people will tell you Vegas was ruined when the corporations took over.  It wasn't ruined by the corporations, it was ruined by the tourists!  Let's take a look, shall we?

Here's the Dunes hotel.  Don't look for it, it's long gone.  They blew it up.  This was always my all time favorite sign here, and those stupid idiots blew it up!  The Dunes was old Vegas.  From back in the day when lounge shows here were actually pretty good.  The Sands drew in some people, too.  They had one of the hottest shows going!

Oh yeah, Frank Sinatra and the gang!  Pack, Rat pack, crowd, whatever.  See how they all wear suits?  Even Sammy Davis Jr. is wearing a suit.  It looks like it was made from some velvet curtians he found somewhere, but it's still a suit!  Back then if you weren't dressed nicely, they threw you out of the casino.  Now all you need to wear is some torn shorts, and flip flops.  If you went to see this show, it was an event!  People came from all over to see these guys!  I was never a huge Sinatra fan, but if I could I wouldn't mind going back in time to see their show.  It was supposedly spectacular!

     Now Vegas has shows like "O."  I guess the show title is short for "Oh geez, why did I spend all my money to see this crap?"  Who the hell makes a show called O?  Did all the other letters before O have a show too, and failed?  Maybe I'll want to see it when they get to X.

You had to be dressed up to be in the casino back then.  Here's good ol' Frank dealing some bacarat.  You'll notice everyone is in a suit.  Yes, I'm sure this was all posed for the photo, but does that matter?  No, it doesn't matter, quit picking apart my pictures!  I worked hard to find it!  (Actually, I didn't work hard, I just typed "Sinatra casino" into a search engine and there it was.)

You don't have to dress up to come here anymore.  Sadly, you don't even have to behave now.  People come here now and drink, pass out, and get robbed by hookers.  Actually not all of them get robbed by the hookers, some people walk away from a slot machine leaving their credits in it, and then lose their money that way.  Or they leave their wallet on a slot bank, or they drink until they can barely walk, steal a "Wet floor" cone and then pass out on the sidewalk.  Don't believe that last one ?  Well, here you go:

Weddings here used to be exciting!  Elvis was married at a chapel here!  You could come here and elope.  It was romantic, and sexy, and just so fantastically exciting!  Now idiots come here, get drunk, and then want to get married.  Note that he's so drunk, he needs a straw in the beer bottle to help him continue drinking!  Is this a wedding you want to attend?  And afterwards, they'll probably be looking for yellow cones to steal!  (Yes, this is a picture from a movie.  That doesn't mean people don't come here and really act like this!)

The restaurants used to serve steak and lobster for $4.99!  There used to be places that had steak and eggs for $0.99!  What the hell happened?  Now you're lucky to find a cup of coffee here for $5!  They overcharge for the food, and then serve you crap!  Now people come here to try and eat a six pound burrito in an hour and a half!  (Yes, this is an actual challenge you can undertake at the Sahara hotel.)  What the hell?  I want to take an hour and a half to eat a $0.99 breakfast and play some keno, not shove six pounds of Mexican crap down my throat!  And doesn't this gent look handsome while he's trying to eat?  How classy.

Can you hear "Viva Las Vegas" playing on his Ipod?  How classy to wolf down that huge mess with some wires in your ears!  What a pleasure it is to see people like this!

I guess this is where my blog ends today.  I can remember after moving here going downtown to play blackjack.  Now if you go downtown you risk getting mugged.  Even on the strip you could find a $5 minimum blackjack table to play on.  Now you're lucky if you can find one with a $15 minimum.  Money's getting tight, and they want $20 to eat at a buffet.  What happened?  Stupid greedy people!  Most people don't dress up here anymore.  The food costs too much.  The shows suck.  Welcome to Las Vegas 2010.  And they wonder why visitation is down. 

Rambling along

     I've just recently put out two more books.  One is a book of old blogs.  The dumbest question I get about that one is, "Is this blog in the book?"  Yes, the blog I'm writing right now will magically appear in the book I published a month ago.  Must there be such a huge absense of thought here?

     Reading the old blogs brings back a lot of memories.  And since back then, an old friend has moved on from wild, insane, crazy person, to wild, insane, crazy father.  He can't just run around and do what he wants anymore.  Good ol' Chinstrap now has a 2 year old daughter.  He tells me she's quite a handfull...just like him.  I guess if she wants something, she'll point and scream.  At least, that's what Chinstrap told me.  She was pretty sweet when I saw her.  I haven't really seen her since she was a one year old, so she doesn't really remember me.  She's a bit shy around me.  But, the other day Chinstrap invited me to come along as he took two little girls to the Shark Reef inside the Mandalay Bay Hotel.  What the hell, I can't pass this up!

I can post his picture here, he won't mind.  Chinstrap (Matt) has always been a good sport about my blogging.  This little, innocent one on the right is Beilei.  (Pronounced Bay Lay)  Cute, isn't she?  Just wait.

So, off we go to see the "fishies."  Beilei loves fishies.  The other little girl with us is Kim.  She's pretty quiet and well behaved. (at least around me.  I'm sure Chinstrap thinks she's some kind of monster.)  So, we proceed to walk through Mandalay Bay to get to the Shark Reef.  Beilei, as two year olds are prone to do, runs this way, and that way, wanting to see everything.  She decides she wants to play on a craps table in the casino, and Chinstrap has to chase her into the pit.  He keeps trying to tell her that she can't be in the casino pits, that we need to go to see the fishies, but he doesn't seem to realize he's talking to a TWO YEAR OLD!  He'll pick her up, but as soon as he puts her down, she runs back towards the pits.  I'm obviously highly amused.  We finally make it to the Shark Reef.  We have a great time and Beilei gets to see the fishies.  The only real problem we had in there was that I tried to take a few more pictures of Beilei, but two year olds don't stand still.  Everytime I would get my camera pointed at her, she runs off somewhere.  And she doesn't run in a straight line, either.  You'd think the kid was a running back weaving her way towards a touchdown! (Obviously it's been a while since I've been around two year olds, too!)  Finally, when some fish of some kind caught her interest (at least for a second and a half) I get a good picture of her! 

This was right before she pointed at some other little boy and announced, "Stink!"  I guess the little boy wasn't as fragrant as she would have liked.  But actually, the Shark Reef isn't the story here.  After going there, and exhausting the two year old, Chinstrap wants to go to a huge electronic store called Fry's.  That's fine, I love Fry's.  So we drive over and after going inside, they have balloons hanging from everything.  Someone spots the little cutie and asks if she would like a balloon.  OF COURSE SHE WANTS A BALLOON, SHE'S A TWO YEAR OLD!  So they give her a balloon.  I suggest to Chinstrap to tie the balloon to her wrist.  He says no.  He thinks she'll be fine just holding on to it.  Huge surprise, she lets it go.  She did actually hold on to it for at least 15 minutes, or so before she let it go, though!  Now she's upset.  Another guy sees her upset and asks what happened.  I tell him she had a balloon and now it's gone.  So he wants to give her three more balloons.  Is she happy now?  Of course not, she's Chinstrap Jr.!  She likes the three balloons, but still wants someone to get her other balloon back from the ceiling!  Here she is, pointing at the balloon, upset that it won't just come back down. 

I did have a good time, though.  On the way out of the store another guy gave Beilei three more ballons, so she ended up with six of them.  She's really happy, until...  When we're ready to leave, Chinstrap takes the ballons from her and puts them in the back of the car.  Then he tries to put Beilei in her car seat.  Here comes the monster!  Now Chinstrap is dealing with a screaming, tantrum throwing, maniac child!  She wants the balloons!  He keeps telling her they're in the back of the car, but once again he's speaking to a TWO YEAR OLD!  She doesn't want them in the back of the car, she wants them in the front of the car, or on the hood, or who knows what else?  He hands a balloon to her.  She doesn't care, she keeps screaming.  She doesn't want the balloon, she does want the balloon, scream, scream, scream!  Anyone who's lived through a two year old recognize this?  Chinstrap says, "What's the matter?  Why won't you stop screaming?"  I tell him she's probably just tired.  Tired two year olds scream.  So, we head back to his house to drop her off before we find something to eat.

All in all, it was fun watching him with a kid.  This week we're supposed to go to a place called the "Adventure Dome."  Rides, clowns, it's like a mini-theme park.  I can't wait to see the tantrums there!  As an end to this blog, I think I'll post a short clip of Chinstrap chasing his daughter.  She had found someone else's motorcycle while we were waiting for the valet to bring up his car.  I guess she wants a ride?  Most amusing!

Powdered gum

     Today I was reading about Paris Hilton.  She was arrested for possession of cocaine.  The baggie of cocaine fell out of her purse in front of a cop.  This was actually while she was demanding to be "taken to the bathroom" with her purse, I guess.  After it fell out she said she thought it was "gum."  I did a search online because I want to have some "powdered gum" too!  I couldn't find any.  I guess she also decided to say the purse wasn't hers.  It probably had her ID and wallet inside it, but it wasn't hers.  I thought about posting a picture here, but I don't want to sully my blog like that.

     So, now some highly paid Hilton attorney is going to go into court and claim the purse and "powdered gum" didn't belong to this moron.

"Your Honor, she was carrying a friend's purse!  It's always fun to carry a friend's purse around!  What?  Who's purse was it?  Oh, we can't release that information!"

And then he'll claim she thought it was "powdered gum."  I'd like to ask how much of the "gum" she chewed.  It must be some kind of special "Hilton" gum.  Can these people get any sleazier?

     What happens in Vegas...now becomes world wide news!  I guess she was let out of jail after only two hours without even paying any bail.  She was arrested for a felony, but didn't need bail.  I wonder if I would get out without bail if I was chewing some "powdered gum?"  The idiot she was with was busted for misdemeanor "driving while impaired" or something like that.  He had to pay $2,000 in bail to get out of jail.  So how does she just walk away from a felony, but he has to bail out for a misdemeanor?  I guess that's the magic of Nevada!  Come here if you're rich and famous!  If you aren't, don't be caught with any "powdered gum."

     She was busted on the Las Vegas Strip, and claimed to be "embarrassed" when a huge crowd began to form around the car and take pictures.  She was embarrassed just because she had a load of "powdered gum" in her purse, and the driver, or "boyfriend" she was with was failing all the sobriety tests the cop was giving him?  How odd!  I guess the police took her over to the Wynn hotel and security offered to let the police put her in their holding room.  (That would be what's called a C.S.O. if you're curious.  Casino Security Office.)  Yay security! 

     I tried to upload the police report to here, but it wouldn't work just because it's in a pdf file.  It doesn't matter, you can find it online probably everywhere by now.  Freedom of information, hooray! 

     Her "boyfriend" was a guy named "Cy Waits."  And after being arrested, he had to "Waits" to post bail and get out of jail.  HA HA HA HA HA!  I guess he was a big partner in a club in the Wynn hotel.  "Was" being the key word.  He was supposedly "fired."  But how do you fire a "partner?"  I guess by giving him some "powdered gum" to carry around in his purse?

And life goes on...