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Sunday, September 26, 2010

Mad Man Matthew

     As you might know, I'm a writer.  I've written and put out a few books, but if you go way back to when I wrote my first one, there are some really funny stories.  One of the best ones, is about my friend Matthew.  Or as I've refered to him in blogs before:  Chinstrap.

     My first book was called "Adventures in Casino Security."  It followed one particular security officer around for a week and showed the things he had to deal with.  Matthew loved the book.  Maybe because it was good, or maybe because his friend had written it, or maybe just because he was represented as a character in the book, I don't know.  But, through several agreements (One of which was me promising to use him as my personal body guard after I was a millionaire) Matthew decided to promote my book for me.  Back then I didn't know much about promotion, and Matthew knew even less, I think.  But not knowing something has never stopped him.  He gets his way, period.  So he takes a few copies of my book and decides on a written media blitz.  In other words, he'll push the book on some magazines published here in Las Vegas, and maybe a couple in California.

     He decides he wants the book promoted in a magazine here called "Las Vegas Weekly."  He finds the office where the magazine is published and takes a drive over.  He can actually clean up really well, wear a tie and jacket, and look very mature and business like!  Looks can be deceiving.  He shows up at the office all dressed up, looks professional, and asks nicely to speak to the editor.  After a short wait, he is led into the edtor's office.  Matthew explains to the editor about how his friend has just put out a new book, shows the editor the copy of the book, and asks nicely for a review, or maybe just a short article about it to be in Las Vegas Weekly.  The editor thanks Matthew, tells him he'll "take a look when he gets time" and puts the book under a huge stack of papers.  Matthew doesn't like this, but leaves politely...for that day.

     The next day, Matthew goes back to the office and again asks to see the editor.  After a brief wait, he is escorted into the office, and points to the book, still under the stack of papers.  "Have you read it yet?" he asks.  "Uh, not yet, but we'll get to it."  He is told.  Matthew leaves and goes home.  Once he's back at home, he calls the editor on the phone to ask when the article is coming out.  He's again told that they haven't gotten to the book yet.  Matthew, trying not to get upset tells the editor, "Take the book out from under all of those papers, and put it on top!"  The editor politely says he'll move the book up, and will get to it.  Is Matt done?  A normal, mortal man might be done, but not Matthew.

     The next morning when he wakes up, he calls the Las Vegas Weekly office again.  This time, the editor agrees to give the book to a "staff reporter" and have something done with it.  Matt agrees and hangs up...only to call back around noon and see if the book has been given to a reporter yet.  He's now becoming obsessed with getting my book into Las Vegas Weekly.  He will NOT be blown off!  He's given a few other books to a few other places, but is completely focused on Las Vegas Weekly.  Every day now, he either calls them 10 times a day, either demanding the "staff reporter's name" or he shows up at their office, wanting to know when an article about the book is coming out!  Finally, the editor allows him into his office for a "talk."  He tells Matt that as I'm a new, "self published" writer, and don't even have any reviews of the book yet, it's hard to find space for it in the magazine.  He tells Matt "It's quality writing, but you have to understand we only have so much space each week."

     When Matt tells me what the editor said, I'm really thrilled.  A professional editor said my writing was "quality writing!"  I'm ecstatic!  Matthew is not.  He continues to call the office and show up almost every day, he will not leave these people alone!  You don't tell Matthew no.  You simply DON'T!  I'm not sure he even knows what no means. 

     And guess what?  If you bother people enough, they'll sometimes do just about anything you want just to get rid of you.  Finally, one day as Matthew is showing up at the office, the editor comes out and tells him a small article about Adventures in Casino Security will be in the next issue of Las Vegas Weekly.  Matt calls me and lets me know.  He tells me to make certain and get a bunch of copies!  That shouldn't be hard, it's a free publication.  I pick a few up, and sure enough, there is a small article called "Excerpts from Adventures in Casino Security."  It had four quotes from the book, and listed it as for sale for $15 on

I'm proud of Matthew.

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