Stupid and Selfish

The World of the Dumb

I live in America, home to some pretty stupid and selfish people.  Have you ever just looked around you and wondered how some people can be as dumb or selfish as they are?  We’ve made natural selection pretty much irrelevant for the human race now.  The weak and stupid people don’t die out, some of them go on to be pretty successful!  But the stupid and selfish people aren't just Americans.  Let’s take a look at the wonderful world of the dumb:

We start in Toronto, Canada.  Welcome to the Great White North!  Some people speak French here and Toronto will obviously vote for just about anyone for mayor.  How about a crack head?  Sure, why not?  Meet Toronto mayor Rob Ford.  Rob likes to get drunk and smoke crack.  Here’s a fun little news story about Rob:

Toronto mayor: ‘Yes, I have smoked crack cocaine’

AARON HARRIS/Reuters

SHARE

Canadian politics and politicians tend to get little attention in the United States. That changed dramatically in November when Toronto mayor Rob Ford admitted he had smoked crack cocaine. Allegations of the mayor’s drug use came up after a video surfaced showing Ford smoking crack. Ford denied the video existed until police said they had obtained a copy in the course of a drug investigation against a friend of Ford’s.

“Yes, I have smoke crack cocaine, “ Ford told reporters Nov. 5, “There have been times when I’ve been in a drunken stupor. That’s why I want to see the tape.”

So Rob admits he smoked crack cocaine.  How nice!  He’s also a known drunkard and seems to be hated, reviled, and embarrasses people in Toronto.  So how did he even get elected as mayor?  Rob says he wants to see “the tape”?  Well then, let’s look at some video.  I especially love the shirtless man standing behind him who is continuously yelling “Resign, resign!”  

Well there you go.  You silly Canadians elected a drunken crack head to the post of mayor!  What could be dumber than that?  Maybe electing a crack head mayor TWICE?  Here in American in the quaint little place we call the District of Columbia (That’s where Washington DC is!) back in 1979 they elected a guy named Marion Barry Jr. mayor.  In 1990 Marion was videotaped smoking crack cocaine and arrested on drug charges by the FBI.  Not the police, the Federal Bureau of Investigation arrested him!  And then after his arrest Marion went to a federal prison for six months.  That meant that Marion couldn’t run for reelection.  Was that the last of Marion?  Hell no!  He ran for mayor again in 1995 after getting out of prison and was again voted in as mayor!  He cleaned himself up though, right?  WRONG!

On October 28, 2005, Barry pleaded guilty to the misdemeanor charges stemming from an IRS investigation. The mandatory drug testing for the hearing showed Barry as being positive for cocaine and marijuana. On March 9, 2006, he was sentenced to three years of probation for misdemeanor charges of failing to pay federal and local taxes, and underwent drug counseling.

So here in America we voted in a crack cocaine and pot smoking tax evader as mayor of the nation’s capital city.  Lovely.  Well at least things couldn’t get worse for Marion, right?  RIGHT?

On July 4, 2009, Barry was taken into custody by the Park Police after political consultant Donna Watts-Brighthaupt, his ex-girlfriend, claimed he was stalking her.  Barry was arrested and charged with "misdemeanor stalking". Following an interview with authorities, he was released on citation and told he must appear before the Superior Court of the District of Columbia on July 9. However, all charges were dropped on July 8.

Oh geez.  Ok, let’s move on from Marion.  The more you look at him, the worse things get. 

So how about me?  Here I am going on and on about stupid people voting crack heads into political office.  Have I ever voted for a crack head myself?  No!  Actually, Hell No!  I wouldn’t waste my vote on someone like that!  I will however vote for someone crazy.  Sadly, the one crazy person I can remember voting for died.  She was a judge and her name was Elizabeth Halverson.  Ok, that was her “married” name.  She was only a judge for less than five months after getting elected and then she was suspended.  That just meant she had to stay home and watch Captain Kangaroo instead of going to the courthouse and being a judge.  She still received her $130,000 a year pay during her suspention.  I'm all for that, crazy people have bills too.  Did I know she was crazy before I voted for her?  Oh yes.  I definitely knew.  I had heard things.  I had no idea HOW crazy she really was, but I knew she was nuts.  Not only was she crazy, she was huge.  By huge, I mean she was HUGE!

Take a look at that huge bundle of love!  She couldn’t really walk well and so she rode around on one of those scooter things.  A Rascal, or whatever it’s called.  I helped elect her with my vote and then the madness started.  She was always in the news and always for something that I thought was hilarious!  She used to sleep through court proceedings.  She was accused of “tainting” juries and two cases ended up as mistrials.  She was accused of making her court bailiff give her massages, bring her blankets when she wanted to nap, and put her shoes on her feet.  She supposedly harassed everyone around her.

Her bailiff eventually testified against her in court about how he was “abused”.  He sits there on the stand screaming about “America”.  If he was so abused, why didn’t he find another job?  We can quit in America.  *chuckle*  Let’s go to the video tape!

And just when you think someone can’t get any crazier, they do.  After being removed from the bench Judge Halverson had a bit of a problem with her husband at home.  Ok, it was more than a bit of a problem.  He slammed her in the head with a frying pan.  She may have been crazy, but you can’t hit people with frying pans!  Not even if they’re crazy and annoy you!  Her husband was quickly arrested and ended up doing a few years in prison.  And then she finally died.  Would I vote for her again if she hadn’t died?  You can damned well bet I would!  A lot of crazy things go on in Las Vegas, why shouldn’t we have a crazy judge?  So our last video will be a short one about my favorite judge. 

 And just in case you’d like to read a bit more, here’s a link to a news story about judge Halverson’s death…and life! 

Former Judge removed from bench dies in Las Vegas

So what’s the point of this blog?  I don’t know.  I guess I just found some of the politicians funny and wanted to write about them.  Go out and vote for who you want and I’ll vote for who I want.  

Monster Sex

This blog is going to be “R” rated so if you aren’t old enough to talk about sex, you’d better stop reading now.  This blog should only be read by adults.

Ok, hopefully all my three year old readers are now gone.  Let’s talk about sex.  Specifically Monster sex.  Now I’m sure you’re asking yourself “What the hell is he talking about?  What is Monster sex?” If you are asking yourself that, hopefully you’re doing it quietly so people don’t stare.

Monster sex is sex between monsters.  Or sex WITH monsters.  Now when you mention monsters to me I usually think about the king of monsters, Godzilla.

Godzilla having sex would probably destroy a few buildings, but then he does that anyway, doesn't he?  Actually, today I'm going to talk about sex with a monster a little bit smaller.  To tell you the truth I had never really thought about Monster sex myself until recently.  A friend mentioned it and I had thought she was just being silly.  She wasn't.  She was talking about a book.

Actually it's more of a short story than a book as it's only around 3,000 words long.  It's about Monster sex.  That nice lady on the cover is named Rosie Peaks.  And Rosie and her peaks ends up with her car broke down in a swamp.  She gets out and begins to wander around after taking off her expensive shoes and ends up being found by a Swamp Monster.  Once he finds her, cue the cheap 70's porn music!  They end up going at it!  Bow-chick-a-bow-wow!  

This small bit of imagination gave me quite a few smiles!  I've read and reviewed a number of erotic stories before, but nothing like this one.  This one was...fun.  This one was REALLY different!  *chuckle*  This story has phrases like these:

"It came toward me, arms...vines outstretched..."

"There must be laws against this sort of thing."

"A seaweed coated appendage reached up and stroked my cheek..."

I love those lines!  And the rest of the story is just as entertaining!  This was something new and fun for me!  Every so often I make a video called "Bob's Books" and talk about a book I like.  I absolutely HAD to make a video for this story!  It cried out for a video!  And of course, I had to make the video while wearing a hockey mask.  *chuckle*

Now if I were still young enough to play with dolls, I’m sure this would have inspired me to find a Swamp Thing action figure.  Can you imagine this coming over to Barbie’s Dream House for a tea party?

"Baaaaaaarrrrrbieee!, Daddy's home!"  Time to test out that new Barbie bed!  After a round or two on some of Barbie's lawn furniture before also trying out the bed, everyone is happy.  *chuckle*  And then nine months later Barbie has a son who grows up to look like this:

Anyway, back to the story Banged In The Bayou.  As you can see it got my imagination racing.  *chuckle*  It was a fun story and at the end Barbie...oops, I mean Rosie Peaks lives happily ever after.  It's only 99 cents on the Kindle, or Nook, or where ever you want to read it and well worth that small amount.  But you'd better hurry if you want to take a look though, I've been told by the author that she's going to rewrite everything and make the story longer now!  You'd better pick it up while you still can!  

So click on any of the links I'll put down below and you can find this fantastic story!  Meanwhile, I'll see if I can get the author to maybe do an interview with me.  I'd love to ask a few Monster Sex questions!  *chuckle*  And we can maybe even convince her to talk about other books she's written.  You know how hard it is to get an author to talk about their books.  *chuckle*  Anyway, visit the links and have some fun!

Banged In The Bayou on the Kindle.

Banged In The Bayou on the Nook.

The Ugly Pageant

The Ugly Pageant

Meet Miss Delaware, Amanda Longacre.

Actually, Amanda is no longer Miss Delaware.  The title was taken away from her along with her college scholarships and given to the "first runner up" because the pageant stated Amanda was "too old".  How old is she?  Well, she's an ancient 24 years old.  So the title was ripped away from her and given to Brittany Lewis who is a young 24 years old.  Does this sound wrong somehow?  Does it sound crooked, maybe?  Well let's make it sound even more crooked.

When the crown was then given to Brittany Lewis at the Dover Downs hotel and casino, they had a brief ceremony and then announced, "No questions!"  So obviously we can't ask things like why they would disqualify a woman based on her age and then give the title to another woman who is the same age.  Their reasoning is supposedly about the month when Amanda's birthday falls.  She had provided this information over and over and over and over before entering the pageant, but that doesn't seem to matter.  All that matters is the crown now belongs to someone else and no questions can be asked.

Amanda may have put her education on hold to enter this pageant and may have spent money and sacrificed and done quite a few things to earn this title, but that's just too bad.  NO QUESTIONS!  Does it seem funny that the new "ceremony" where the crown and sash were handed over to another woman was held in a casino?  Oh sorry, that was a question.  Will there be an investigation as to what really happened?  Who will be investigating?  Whoops, there are more questions.  And no questions are allowed.  Well, that's not actually true, questions are allowed, they just won't be answered.

I've watched a guy who showed up late every day for work and slept on duty get an award for "employee of the month".  No questions were allowed about that kind of thing either.  I did try asking why he deserved the award and was told "Because he does a good job!"  A good job of what, checking the inside of his eyelids for pin holes?

So what this comes down to is favoritism.  Amanda Longacre won the Miss Delaware Pageant fair and square, but the win was taken away from her and given to someone else more than likely because of favoritism.  I'm sure Brittany Lewis either knew someone, or did a favor for somebody, or maybe she wasn't involved at all.  Maybe someone she knew did a few favors?

Now attorneys have to be involved.  Everyone will sue everyone else because that's the American way!  More than likely nothing will be resolved and no one will ever find out the real reason the Miss Delaware title was taken away from Amanda.  How sad for any honest people who live in Delaware because now it looks like one really corrupt place!

World Cup Football Without Rules

No Rules Football

I’ve been watching a bit of the FIFA World Cup this year and to be honest, it really hasn’t lived up to what I thought it would be.  Firstly, I thought England would do a whole lot better than they did.  There were quite a few of their players who didn’t much seem to care.  They ran around and kicked the ball, but it looked like it was just another paycheck to them.  Win, lose, they didn’t seem to care.  With how important football is in England, they should be ashamed to go back home after the performance they put on!

One of today’s matches had England playing Costa Rica.  The match ended in a 0-0 tie and England didn’t even field most of their “starters” if you can call them that.  I guess they needed rest before the English football season which starts in August by the way.  They needed to rest up to collect the millions of pounds they’ll be paid to play back in England.  If you are a captain of your country’s international squad, you should be out there on the pitch leading your team for EVERY SINGLE MATCH!  If you have the attitude that since your team won’t be advancing in the tournament you don’t need to play anymore, then you don’t deserve the title of captain.  Steven Gerrard lost a lot of the respect I had for him when I saw him sitting on the bench looking like he didn’t care at all.  

But let’s move beyond England for now.  A while ago I wrote a blog about a scumbag named Luis Suarez.  Suarez thinks he’s some kind of wild animal and likes to bite other players.  Here’s the link to the first blog post I wrote about him in case you missed it the first time:

Biting the Brits

This idiot is from Uruguay and is playing in the FIFA World Cup for the Uruguayan national team.  While playing in the English Premier League he has bitten a player on PSV and a player on Chelsea.  And I’m sure you’re going to know what’s coming now, yes he bit a player on the Italian National Team during the World Cup.  He sank his teeth in deep and from the teeth marks it looks like he tried to take a good sized chunk out of Italian player Giorgio Chiellini.  The match referee didn’t even bother to call that a foul!  What’s worse, biting another player, or being a referee and thinking that’s a legal thing to do?  Chiellini even pulled his shirt down trying to show the teeth marks to the referee, but the ref didn’t care.  Maybe Chiellini should have bit the referee?  If it was legal for Suarez, then it should have been legal for Chiellini, too!

It wasn’t enough for Suarez to bite Chiellini, Suarez then began to pretended that his mouth had been fouled by Chiellini’s shoulder.  He held his teeth and played the wounded player begging for a free kick.

Oh no, did that hurt poor Suarez’s teeth?  FIFA says they are going to “investigate” the matter.  I guess the teeth marks in Chiellini’s shoulder weren’t enough proof.  A two game suspension sounds insane to me.  So what does it take to get thrown out of professional football in England or the World Cup for that matter?  How many people does this rotten idiot need to bite?  He is so lucky that the Italian players showed a lot of restraint.

Now is Suarez really the kind of player you want representing your country?  In two years will people remember how far Uruguay got in this year’s World Cup?  No, they’ll remember that Suarez bit another player.

Here’s a picture of Mario Balotelli:

Mario is playing for the Italian National team in this year’s World Cup.  Mario is known as a rough and brutal player.  He’ll head butt you, kick you, push you and really rough you up, but he DOESN’T BITE PEOPLE!   He may be even considered a dirty player occasionally and supposedly has a troubled off field life, but he DOESN’T BITE PEOPLE!  Hell, last season Balotelli got a yellow card AFTER A MATCH WAS OVER and as it was his second card of the match, he was suspended for three games because of “intimidating and insulting remarks addressed to the referee”.  This guy can be such a problem that he gets penalties for his behavior even off the pitch!  Take a look at the article:

Mario Balotelli Suspended for Three Matches after Sending Off

My point is why is Suarez getting off for the third time biting another player?  No yellow card, no red card, nothing.  Nothing would make my day better than to see another player punch Suarez in the mouth several times during a match.  And personally, I think it should be a team’s captain who does that.  If you’re the captain you need to stand up for your teammates!

I do have one more suggestion before I end this.  Let’s have Suarez play some hockey with the 1974 Philadelphia Flyers.  They were a hockey team that was known for violent fights in just about every game they played.  Suarez can try to bite any one of them he likes, but he may not leave the ice rink with any teeth left.

A trip with Clowns!

World Landmarks I’d like to visit

Have you ever really wanted to go somewhere you haven’t been before?  Sometimes you want to go on an African safari.  Sometimes you wish you could see the Egyptian pyramids.  I’ve personally wanted to take a trip to San Francisco and tour Alcatraz prison.  I actually made that trip a while ago and it was everything I’d hoped!  *chuckle*

Now I’ve found a new place I’d like to see.  Something to put on my “bucket list”, so to speak.  And it’s not in some foreign country, or one of the “Seven Wonders of the World”.  It’s a motel.  A motel full of clowns.  Yes, I said full of clowns.  Do you know anyone who’s afraid of clowns?  I’m sure they wouldn’t much care for this place.  And it’s called appropriately enough, Clown Motel.

The Clown Motel is located in a place called Tonapah, Nevada.  It’s one of those places that’s way out in the desert and the next closest town is about 70 miles of desert away.  And not only does this place have thousands of clowns, it’s also right next to a turn of the century cemetery.  Is the Clown Motel haunted, you may ask?  Why, now that you mention it, I think hauntings have been mentioned once or twice.  But if they include clowns, they’re fun hauntings, right?  Fun hauntings including clowns and full-sized dinner hams?

“At one point early in the evening we were hearing strange sounds and what appeared to be someone screaming followed by lot popping and crunching noises. While in the bathroom my buddy decided to have a peak outside of the bathroom window. My buddy lets out a yell and busts out into the room and I'm like "what?!" He doesn't say anything but goes right to his back and gets his Smith and Wesson 357 out. I'm thinking "what the $%#" and I dig into my bag to get my Sig 232 out. He says we need to get the %@#& out of there right now. I saw he was serious and that made me serious about it, we grabbed our $#!^ for the most part (left a few clothes behind) and looked out the peep sight to make sure it was clear to our car. I threw my gun into my pocket, he put his in his waistband and we hauled ass to the car and got the hell out of there. On the ride away, I asked what he saw in the bathroom. He told me when he looked out the window there was this creepy-ass clown facing away from the window, pants at his ankles, making a weird motion. He told me the clown slowly turned 90 degrees to look at him, my friend said he looked down to see this clown $#@%ing a full-sized dinner ham, when he looked up from the ham $^@!ing the clown was smiling and waving at him.”

Wow, a full-sized dinner ham!  That’s…uh…well I guess it’s not as frightening as seeing a laughing clown with a bloody axe or something.  Just make sure all your dinner hams are secured and things should be ok, right?

Now I’m sure some people would be freaked out and feel like they’re being watched with all the clowns around the motel, but I don’t think it would bother me.  I think I’d even like to tour the cemetery and look around a bit.  What would be even more fun would to put on some evil clown makeup after checking in and then peek into the windows of other motel rooms.  That would be fun, wouldn’t it?  At least until I come across a room and find another clown peeking back out at me.  On second thought, maybe I won’t do that.

Anyway, that’s where I’d like to go.  On the plus side, beyond all the haunting rumors the hotel is supposed to be very friendly and well maintained!  So one of these days I do want to try and make it there for an overnight stay.

The World Cup

Welcome to the World Cup

The World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world!  Unless you’re American, that is.  The sport of soccer isn’t really that big in America, and besides that when we want to have some kind of “world” thing like our “World Series”, we usually only want American teams to participate.  Some people think America is the center of the universe!

Stupid people aside, there are millions, possibly billions of people worldwide who care about the World Cup.  They are passionate and hang on every word the announcers say whether watching the matches on television, or listening to them on a radio.  A lot of people who aren’t American will tell you that soccer, English football, European football, or whatever you want to call it is a religion.  For some people, losing a war would be less important than losing the World Cup

The last World Cup was held in 2010.  England had a strong team and was going up against Germany.  I was working security at a Las Vegas casino on the day of that match and it was going to be shown on some large screens in the casino’s sports book.  There were a LOT of people from England in town and they began gathering pretty early in the morning to get good seats in the sports book to root on their national team.  There was a lot of excitement in the air!  Germany took off and scored the first goal of the match and then notched a second goal making it 2-0 in Germany’s favor.  But then England came back!  England scored making it 2-1 and then scored again making it even!  Or did they?

Though the ball went into the goal area and was clearly a goal, the keeper grabbed the ball and threw it back out onto the field and the match went on as if there was no goal.  The English side was horrified!  If football is a religion, then the match referee just stepped on the English God.

I’ve seen cheating in sports before and even a few times when I thought a player was trying to intentionally lose a game, but this was the World Cup.  How do you ignore a goal in a match this big?  Though I was in America when the goal was disallowed, I think I actually heard the majority of England scream.  One guy in the casino sports book stood up from his seat and began yelling “This is an embarrassment!”  He was quite upset.  Germany did go on to win 4-1, but would things have turned out the same if England had been given that goal?  And what crosses my mind is if a referee was crooked enough to not allow a legal goal, how many other illegal things did he allow to go on during the match?  Things just didn’t seem fair.

Now the World Cup is organized by FIFA.  FIFA also controls quite a few football leagues.  So could FIFA have maybe had any part in what happened to England in 2010?  Let’s take a look at the FIFA track record.

Back in 2010 the World Cup, or the FIFA World Cup if you like, was held in South Africa.  FIFA decided that the South African court system wasn’t good enough and convinced South Africa to allow them to create the FIFA World Cup Courts.  So basically FIFA ran their own justice system in the country of South Africa.  And these courts even sent people to prison if they were convicted.  And if you went to the FIFA World Cup Courts, your trial wouldn’t take very long.  Two guys from Zimbabwe robbed a couple of journalists on a Wednesday, went to court on Thursday, and then began 15 year prison sentences on Friday.  NO ONE MESSES WITH FIFA!  To show I’m not kidding, here’s a link to an article:

FIFA World Cup Courts

The 2014 FIFA World Cup is being held in Brazil.  (I spell American.  In European, and according to FIFA, the country is spelled “Brasil”.)  Brasil had a few too many deaths involving drinking and so decided to pass a law that no alcohol would be allowed to be sold during football matches.  One of FIFA’s big sponsors is Budweiser who makes and sells alcoholic beverages.  So in order to make FIFA happy and to have the FIFA World Cup in Brasil, they will allow alcohol to be served at the World Cup matches no matter what their laws say.  Nothing can go wrong with that, right?  But who cares if things do go bad and people die?  It’s FIFA and the World Cup! 

Brasil also decided to spend 270 million dollars, or Euros, or whatever Brasilians spend on a new stadium for the World Cup.  It’s built in a place called Manaus along the Amazon river.  There is almost no access to this place from a normal roadway and really no football team that will play there after the World Cup.  After all the matches are over, the stadium may become a home for a nearby Amazonian tribe.  Either that, or they’ll just let the jungle over grow it like an old ruin.

One question I have is if it’s so hard to get to Manaus, how are fans going to arrive to watch a match?  Will everyone swim, or row, or somehow go up the Amazon river to get there?  I’m sure it’s hard to find tickets to a World Cup match to begin with, but once you get the tickets you now have to find Humphrey Bogart to take you up the Amazon River on the African Queen to get to the damned stadium!  Doesn’t anyone see anything wrong here?

There are rumors regarding bribery to FIFA officials.  Mostly because they decided that the 2022 FIFA World Cup would be held in Qatar.  Sadly, I don’t even know exactly where Qatar is.  The Qatar national football team has NEVER even qualified to enter any World Cup in history, but now they’ll get to host it in 2022?  Oh definitely click the link below if you’d like to read more about this!

FIFA Bribery Scandal

The President of FIFA Sepp Blatter claims the organization is “non profit” however FIFA has over a billion dollars in the bank.  That’s more money than quite a few countries have!  They had a shot of him on television when the English goal was disallowed against Germany back in 2010.  I think his expression looked something like this:

Blatter claims the Billion dollars in the bank is a “reserve”. A reserve for WHAT?  What is all this money for?  From what I’ve seen FIFA relies on countries to build their own stadiums, and fund everything for the World Cups themselves, so who gets all this money? Maybe they could use the money to promote women’s soccer?  When asked how women’s soccer could be made more popular, Sepp Blatter replied “They could wear shorter shorts.”  Wow. 

 I will admit that there is one very popular video on YouTube of Sepp Blatter.  The clip is only a few seconds long, but is very entertaining, especially if you don’t much care for the FIFA organization.  I think for this clip I’ll let “Keyboard Cat” handle things:

Ok, I’m sure I’ve ranted and raved enough about the FIFA organization enough.  To be truthful, to me they’re just a soccer video game name.  I’m actually looking forward to the World Cup matches this year since I’ll be able to watch them.  If it were up to me though, I would make one change.  If I could, I would bring a bunch of Oakland Raider fans to Brasil to root for the United States team.  The Oakland Raiders are an American football team and play American football, not soccer, and some of their fans are pretty insane.  Let’s take a look at regular American World Cup fans:

They may scream and yell and even blow into a vuvuzela once in a while, but they’re probably mildly distracting at best.  Now let’s take a look at some Oakland Raider fans:

You think English soccer hooligans can cause problems?  I think we need a stadium full of these guys for the United States matches!  *chuckle*  And since the stadium in Manaus is only going to be used for four matches, these guys can tear the place apart and no one will care!  It’s win win!  We’ll just dress the United States team all in black, write “Raiders” across their kits and let the fun times roll!  *chuckle*

All foolishness aside, I really am looking forward to the World Cup this week.  And if football really is a religion, then count me in.  I’ll be right along side the millions of fans worshiping this weekend.

GO UNITED STATES!

Drug Testing Students

Finding the Drugs

I was talking to my niece yesterday about her high school experience.  She’s just finished up her associate’s degree and was accepted to the University of Nevada at Las Vegas (UNLV).  She mentioned she was a bit upset about the drug testing that was going on back at her high school in Oklahoma.  I guess it wasn’t what she considered “fair”. 

Now I’m not in favor of drugs and think drug testing is a good idea.  But I guess this school in Oklahoma wasn’t quite doing it right.  My niece said no one on the football team was tested.  Actually, that’s not true.  One kid’s mother was doing her own home drug testing and her son was showing positive for drugs there.  She contacted the school and wanted him tossed off the football team, but the school refused.  They also refused to do any drug tests on him themselves because if he came up positive, he wouldn’t be able to play football.

Football aside, if a student wanted to participate in any other extracurricular activity they had to be drug tested.  If you failed, you weren’t allowed to participate in the activity anymore.  The chess club was totally decimated mostly because there was only one kid in the school who had joined the chess club, and he failed his random test.  Consequently he was told he could no longer play chess.

Some members of the school band failed their drug test and were told they could no longer play instruments.  So the band then no longer had a percussion or woodwind section and only one trumpet player was left. Two cheerleaders were no longer allowed to participate and several members of the “flag team” were told they could no longer carry or wave flags.

One kid who liked to sit in the library when not in class failed the drug test and was told he could no longer sit in the library.  How dare he read books after not passing a drug test!

Now if a student was selected for drug testing they had approximately half an hour to fill a bottle with urine.  If you couldn’t fill the bottle in the allotted time, you failed the test.  So if you used the bathroom before getting to school you’d still better produce some piss in half an hour, or else!  The testing company didn’t have much time!  Perhaps the testing employees should have been tested a bit themselves?  So in a way, the drug testing wasn’t about whether or not a student was actually testing positive for any kind of drugs, it was more about being able to piss on demand.  And the kids who couldn’t do that were told they could no longer participate in things.  What a great life lesson, huh?

In case you’re curious, my niece was not selected for testing probably because she didn’t participate in any extracurricular activities.  She spent most of her time studying.  If she had been selected and failed the test perhaps the school would have told her she could no longer study?  Either learn to piss on command or we’ll take away all your books!

Now yes, I understand the importance of trying to keep drugs out of schools.  And I went through something a bit like this while in the U.S. Air force.  We would have random drug checks, but you would be put in a room and couldn’t leave until you filled the provided cup with urine, however we weren’t given a half hour time limit.  As long as you didn’t leave the room before filling the cup, you could wait a few hours if need be because you didn’t have to pee at the moment.  The military understood that some airmen go to the bathroom before going to their work place!

So is this school in Oklahoma really interested in stopping drug use?  Or are they more interested in making money for the drug testing company that will fail a student for not being able to pee on command?  It’s sad when a place gets this corrupt, especially a supposed “learning institution”.