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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Setting the Terms


I'm single.  Now normally I won't rip into someone else who is single.  But while looking at Twitter I came across a guy who just begs to be ripped into.  Someone tweeted his website and called him an "Asshole".  *chuckle*  I wonder why?  I guess he lives in Austin, Texas.  Now I won't mention his name, but if you come across it on your own, that's your business.

Now when talking about himself he says he's interested in "love".  Love to me doesn't have conditions. Sometimes love is friendship set on fire.  For this guy, he'll pay you $1,500 if you find him a girlfriend. Is that the going rate for "love" now a days?  The Beatles sang "You can't buy me love", but this guy thinks he can!  Hooray, let's earn some money!  Before we start sending the hookers towards this guy, let's take a look at what he wants...actually, what he'll "accept" in a woman.

"I want the girl to be attractive." --  What's attractive?  I've been attracted to a number of women who were all very different.  So what does he mean by "attractive?"  Ok, let's skip this for the moment, I need the $1,500 because I'm out of work. What else does he want?

"I like girls that are thin, or with a toned or athletic build.  A average build is fine too, just as long as you are not over weight.  I will not date a overweight or fat girl." --  So no..."fat" girls?  What the hell is this?  He wants love, but you can't be fat?  Now things are getting a bit tight.  How do I know if a girl is "fat" in his eyes?  And if this idiot believes in "love", then how can he rule large women out?  He may be passing up the perfect woman for himself just because he thinks she's "fat".  Ok, just thin girls...let's move on.

"I do not like glasses on a girl.  Although, it's not a dealbreaker, as long as she can wear contacts most of the time." --  So no "fat" girls, and no girls with glasses.  What do glasses have to do with falling in love?  I've known plenty of women who wore glasses and were absolutely stunning!  This guy doesn't want glasses on his or whatever we're trying to hook him up with.  So no large women who wear glasses, got it.

"I will not date a girl who does not have a job or career." -- You have to have a job to date this guy?  I thought he was looking for love?  So now he's looking for a woman who has a job.  The woman can't be "fat", can't wear glasses, and needs to be working somewhere.  Does the job matter?  Can she be pretty good looking and be a stripper?

"I do not like strippers!  I will not date a girl who has ever been a stripper.  I believe that the only person that should ever see a womans naked body is only her boyfriend or husband." -- Damn, that takes care of that.  So he thinks the only people who should see a woman naked are her boyfriend and husband?  So he'll take a girl who has a boyfriend and a husband?  Maybe I'm reading that wrong?  Anyway, no strippers!  So if she's "fat", wears glasses, and strips, I won't get my money.  He's really cutting the choices for dates down a lot, isn't he?  I think I may need $15,000 instead of just $1,500 to find this guy a date!

"I will not date a selfish woman.  I do not like selfish women at all." -- Selfish women?  He's not selfish at all himself though, is he?  So the woman he's looking for is attractive, but not fat.  She has to have a job, but can't wear glasses.  No strippers.  And now she can't be selfish.  Ok, I'm out.  I'm through.  Finding this guy a "date" isn't worth $1,500.

Now this guy goes on about how the woman can't have tattoos, or if she does, he might pay for them to be "laser removed" from her.  He doesn't want someone who will argue with him.  No piercings, no gambling, and no women who have had a "threesome"!  This guy really likes to set terms.  *chuckle*

He doesn't like "sarcastic or cynical people".  Obviously he won't like me, or this blog for that matter!  *chuckle*  And my favorite statement of his:

"I also have a very high sex drive." -- Wonderful!  So you need to be "Miss Perfect" and let him go at you all the time!  That job or career had better not take up too much of your time!  *chuckle*

So here's the link to the guy's web page.  He actually gives his phone number!  I wonder how many...interesting phone calls he gets a day now?  *chuckle*  Take a look and if for some reason you think you might fit the profile of what he's looking for in a woman, tell him I sent you.  Being unemployed I need the $1,500.

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